We’re now two weeks into the new year. Already I’m exhausted. And annoyed. Everywhere I turn someone is promising me that I could (and should) look better and feel better. I should be further along in my career and my relationships could use some work. Not to mention, am I exercising enough? Eating enough protein? Getting enough sleep? I mean, who can sleep when there’s so much self-improvement to do? And yet, all the commercials and courses promise me more happiness and more success if I buy this and do that.
Ultimately, behind all the marketing lingo and promises of improvement sits an irritating (and terrifying) message: Who you are and the life you’re currently living isn’t enough, Michele. You need to do more, be more.
The problem? This “not enough” message isn’t a hard sell. Many days I’d agree. The tension between what I long for and what is feels a lot like disappointment. Solomon said it well in Ecclesiastes:
“When I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”
Ecclesiastes 2:11 NIV
They say that the book of Ecclesiastes is a book for midlife crises; perhaps that isn’t far off. For the record, I’m not in a crisis, but I am certainly in mid-life. And I’ve discovered there is a unique perspective in this season that is as sobering as it is freeing. You see, I’m learning there are never enough hours in a day to get my to-do list done. No amount of exercise will guard me against getting older. No amount of dieting will finally produce a perfect body. No book on relationships will guarantee a marriage without conflict or photograph-worthy relationships with adult kids. No amount of working and saving will boost my bank account enough to buy my way out of a health crisis.
In fact, I suspect I could do everything right and still end up with a life that looks entirely wrong.
Whew. What a bunch of bad news, yes? What in the world are we to do with this hard truth? Quit exercising, working, eating healthy, and growing in relationships? If no amount of bootstrapping effort can produce guaranteed results, why bother trying? Sounds like a mid-life crisis in the making.
And yet, Solomon provides the secret, the wisdom he learned even while navigating a sobering mid-life perspective:
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”
Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV
The secret to Solomon’s wisdom (and an overachiever’s peace) isn’t working harder or working less. It’s about trusting “what God has done” more.
You see, if we want a guaranteed, beautiful result, we need to tie ourselves and our plans to the God of eternity. We need to relinquish our hold on our earthly destinies and grab hold of the One who holds the cosmos in His hands. To do this, I regularly remind myself of the following truths:
- Life (and people) on this side of heaven will never look like heaven. Don’t expect it to.
- Hard work matters. But it’s less about getting certain results and more about offering up honest worship.
- “To live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil. 1:21). Care for the body is about stewardship, not self-worship.
- Three of Jesus’ last words on the cross were, “It is finished” (John 19:30). Believe Him. The most important work has already been done.
Who I am and the life I’m living doesn’t look anything like what I imagined. That is true. No course, curriculum, or marketing campaign can deliver what I need and want most. But my God can. And He will. He will make everything beautiful in its time. I believe this. Thus, I choose to stop putting so much weight on my efforts and, instead, trust in His.
Julie says
Dear Michele,
Thank you for this beautiful reminder
That the most important work has already been done by the God who set eternity in our hearts and will make all things beautiful in its time. We can rest in our Saviors love. Especially during the hard and painful times. God bless you!
Michele Cushatt says
Thank you, Julie. Yes yes yes, we can rest. What a relief!
d from Canada says
Thank you for both the reminder & encouragement Michele.
Michele Cushatt says
Much love, D.
Lisa Wilt says
Michele,
I’m midlife too and I’m loving it! To God be the glory. Of course, life isn’t perfect but I’m content with Jesus!
Thank you for sharing… I shared on Twitter.
Sending you new year joy, Lisa Wilt
Michele Cushatt says
Thank you, Lisa. Much joy right back to you! He is with us!
Betsy Basile says
Dear Michele……Your devotion you posted today truly hit a sore spot in my life. What you wrote explains exactly, and I mean that to what I have been going through the last 25 years. I am way past mid-life crisis at 77 years, but now I have entered when I was 70 a new season we call the Senior Season. Believe me, it is way different from all the previous seasons I went through. I had so many serious medical problems and surgeries which half of them were botched by the surgeon. The last one ended me up in intensive care for 2 weeks in a drug induced coma due to the head of the department giving me the wrong medication and I coded. The surgeon told my then husband that I would not survive. This is where and I am telling the truth, I saw Jesus standing next to me and my Holy Spirit whispering in my ear. Jesus, ” Betsy, my daughter, it is not your time. You have so much to give to others. It is not you time. ” My Holy Spirit whispered in my ear. Listen closely what He is saying. Jesus continued saying you have to fight, fight, fight. I will give you strength, but you must not give up” and then they were gone. Well, I had always been a fighter so I guess that is what I did as I am still here. I only told a few people about this experience and most of them said, you were just dreaming. It hurt my feelings that they could say that to me, so I stopped telling others, but I know what I saw. I finally got back to my job that I loved, but when I got to 70 years old, things were different. I was weary, I wasn’t quite as good at multi-tasking and my job required that and I was weak through all of these 10 operations I had been through. The other serious one was also botched and I ended up losing a kidney and I had 3 operations on that to try and fix what they had done. I finally realized I was going to have to retire and I still grieve about that. Michele, I have asked many women if they at age 40 ever thought how it would be at 65 or 70. Like me, they all said “No I haven’t”. You really need to do that and prepare for it. That is why, Michele, your last paragraph is EXTREMELY important. I am going to follow your words and I must say that I pray frequently through the day and night and tell Jesus what is worrying me as now I face the worst situation in my life. For 6 years now and not much has happened to make me feel hopeful, but I have started to see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I know that God is working on it and I need to be patient as we all know that He works on his timeline. Thank you again Michele. Your word have made me smile which is not what I usually do in the morning so to start the week, I wish you and best and hope and pray that your physical problems will cease and desist. Love to you and may you have a Happy New Year……………….Betsy Basile
Michele Cushatt says
Oh, Betsy. I am so sorry for your suffering. It’s too much. And yet, I hear your dogged hope and determination to cling to Jesus. And that right there shines the brightest light. Don’t give up, sister. And keep smiling. He sees you, and He knows.
Irene says
I really needed to hear this, Michele! I, too, have a super long to-do list. And I’m trying to lose weight and having marginal success at best. When I catch up with one chore, another takes its place. Oy vay!
I need to trust and obey more. And this is an item on my list that is sure to bring joy!
Michele Cushatt says
Our to-do lists will never end, my friend. The good news? The loving-kindness of our good, good Father lasts even longer. Glory!
Nikki S White says
Thank you, Michele. Your words never cease to inspire and reassure me of God’s love. I owe you one, sister.
Love in Christ,
Nikki
Michele Cushatt says
Much love right back to you, sister. We’re in this together.
Krista says
I appreciate this perspective so much. The gentle reminder to bring everything to God and with God is what my aching heart needed to hear today. Thank you.
Michele Cushatt says
Krista, may you feel your heart held gently by the Father today. Much love.
Lynne Molyneaux says
So good, Michele! Thanks for this needed message. I find myself “not bothering” too often because I don’t feel like I’m makes progress in many areas. This is a “save and re-read” message!
Also I didn’t get the email this morning and I know some others said the same thing last week. Just wanted to let the (in)courage staff know.
Thanks!
Michele Cushatt says
I’m so glad it encouraged, Lynne. I need to remind myself of this almost daily at times! Also, thanks for the heads-up about the email. I’ve passed it on to the staff.
karyn j says
this was perfectly worded and i so needed this. thank you for penning (or typing 🙂 ) and sharing!
Jill says
The timing of this was excellent. Thank you for sharing these words with us.