I’m sitting in a coffee shop on a beautiful morning. My thoughts return to several recent losses in my life and I tell myself, “You have to be okay.” But then I realize, I would never say this to someone I love. Why is it so hard to be gentle with ourselves in our most tender moments?
If you struggle with this too, or you know someone who’s grieving, here are words you can borrow today…
It’s understandable that you feel grief. It is a sacred emotion. Grief tells us about who we have loved and what we have lost. It whispers to us, “This mattered.” It reminds us, “Life is fleeting, treasure it.” Jesus wept outside the tomb of Lazarus even though His friend would soon be resurrected. He wept because, in this world, all is not yet as it should be.
You are made for relationships that do not end in death.
You are created for joy that is unbroken by tragedy.
You are destined for a forever Home untainted by loss.
Your grief gets heavier when you say, “I shouldn’t feel this way” because then you must carry shame and guilt too. The truth is, you should feel this way. Grief is the way we process pain, the bridge we cross from loss into our new normal. And grief isn’t only for when someone we love is no longer here.
Grief is for dreams that don’t come true.
Grief is for relationships that end too soon.
Grief is for every time you imagined what could be, then experienced a different reality.
God is not angry with you for your grief. He is not telling your heart to hurry up. He is not accusing you of not trusting enough. No, the God who weeps, who is close to the brokenhearted, is with you. The Messiah was prophesied to be, “a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief” (Isaiah 53:3 NLT).
He is also the giver of hope. Not the cotton candy kind, not the sort of hope that feels like a spiritual band-aid slapped on an open wound. No, the kind of hope that says after the cross comes the empty tomb, after the darkest night comes the morning, after the tears comes the moment when they will be wiped away forever.
Do not seek to banish your grief, to hide it in shame, to ask it to never come again. It is your companion in this life. Open the door to it, give it a seat at the table of your heart, offer it a bowl of soup or a bit of bread, let it tell you its stories and its truth. It has much to teach you.
When the time is right, grief will slip away for a while. You will wake one morning with the sun in your eyes again. Grief will return many times; it will be a lifelong visitor. But it is hope that will stay, that will prop its feet up on your furniture and open the curtains to let the light in. The Giver of that hope will always be with you too.
When you feel joy, you align with the heart of God.
When you feel sorrow, you align with the heart of God.
There is no emotion you can experience that will separate you from His love.
He is as near to you in your aching as He is in your celebrating.
God welcomes your tears. He makes space for your sadness. He is fully present in your pain.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
Psalm 34:18 NLT
Do you need gentle reminders of truth each day this year? You’ll find them in Holley Gerth’s new devotional book, 365 Truths for Every Woman’s Heart. Download a free excerpt here.
Yes, grief is present in many ways, not only with death. I grieve over the loss of the companionship and affection from my husband…who is still very much alive. Sometimes I think it’s easier to bear when there is the finality of either death or abandonment.
Meg, you are not alone with that type of grief. Sending you hugs and prayers.
I loved your article- thank you for sharing! My husband is a singer/songwriter. He once was the artist of the week on a Christian radio station in Albany NY about 15 years ago. We are in our 15th year of ministry to the homeless- my husband will sometimes sing his songs at the shelters (along with worship songs), and the shelter guests have been sometimes in tears through his music. My biggest grief in my life is grieving that my husband doesn’t have time to record a CD to help more people know the love of Jesus. We are getting older, he is 51, and it just makes me sad. But if it’s God’s will I just need to trust that He will make a way in His timing. God has His purpose for why some things take so long or never happen. I will keep praying. Thanks again, your devotional touched my heart.
Thanks for this great reminder, Holley! Blessings (((0)))
So encouraging…I’ll share!
Dear Holley…………What a very spiritual and uplifting devotion for today. I am one that tries to hide my grief and tears until I get back to my apartment alone. I know that God is with me, but it is 6 years that I have been suffering from my son telling me that I am no longer his mother and that my 1 grandchild that I have, he and his wife will never allow me to see or even talk to him again. My now ex-husband has violent dementia and attempted to kill me. He would not do anything the doctors told him and number one was he needed to stop drinking right away. He flushed the medication down the toilet and said there was nothing wrong with him. I showed him the written reports from both neurologists again ( probably the 20th time ). He said them don’t know what they are doing. It has been 6 years now and he is in a facility that my son put him in, but into Independent Living where he still has a car and drives around to the bars with his buddies. Now I have heard that he can’t do anything by himself. He is probably in Tier 4 which is the worst place to be. My grief has increased finding out this information and having no family left to talk to. I am 77 years old and all of my family and relatives are gone from the Earth and while I know they are in a better place, I still grieve to just be able to talk to one of them. I pray a lot, but I have seen a few signs from Jesus, but not about them. I am weary and sad and really don’t have much joy or happiness in my life except for you women in the community (in)courage. I honestly don’t know what I would do without all of you. I read the devotion first thing when I get up in the morning. Holley, thank you for your wonderful words today and I will definitely re- read this again after lunch to be sure that everything you said sinks deep into my soul. My love and prayers I send your way, Holley. I am not going to quit, I just need to be patient and the Lord will take care of me. My Holy Spirit helps me every day…….Betsy B
Dear Holly, thank you for your very thoughtful and compassionate words this morning. I am grieving a lost dream of being able to live in the country again. It would take a miracle. I have to learn to accept where God has brought my husband and me. The Lord knows best and I am very grateful! We have wonderful neighbors and a wonderful landlord. God bless you all!
I believe God has used your words today, Holley, to give some hope to my grieving heart over the loss of my mother in September. I needed to read and hear these words in a way that I can not explain. God knows. Thank you for being his messenger to me today.
Holly love everything you wrote to do grief. All you said was very true. One thing someone told me a long time ago. God collects or tears uses them for our good and his. Also we have to remember when we go through the grief. No matter if a Family member or Friend. If saved we will see them again in Glory one day. I can’t remember if was God or someone who told me this. We might have lost someone close to us be said we will not see them on earth anymore. But if they were saved like us. We can keep all the good memories of them in our hearts and rejoice we will see them again one day in Glory. When our time up on earth one day. We have that to look forward even though we don’t have that person on earth anymore.That should bring us happiness even though we will still miss them while we are still alive on earth wish they were still here. I know a person who along with a sister have lost alot. Both there Mum at young age when they were young. Plus there Dad to MS. Then one of the sisters her Husband and her kids there Dad. The the Dad was not old. They all of them still smile through all they have been through in their lives. As they if you were talking to them they would tell you. Yes we miss them all and don’t have them on earth anymore. We could ask ourselves why all this happened to us. When we and all our family believe in Jesus and live for him. But we don’t we trust God no matter what. We will not get our answers until we ourselves go to Glory one day why did all this happen to us. They all them still trust God and live for him no matter what they have been through in their lives. Many people especially the Unsaved would say. Why would I get saved if God let things like thid happen to people who are saved and living for him. They people would say have a point. But it not God’s doing these things I said in my comment happen especially to people who are saved. Yet people that have things like my Friend and her Family happen to them. They are an example of not letting Satan the Devil stop them keeping their eyes on God. Through all they have been through in life. They know if don’t get there reward for that they will get it Glory one day. For like the the persecuted Church they no matter what they go through they keep their eyes on Jesus. Look at pain Jesus went through on the cross for all man kind. Jesus could have stop loving his Heavenly Father because he made his stuffer. But he didn’t he chose to still love his Heavenly Father like my Friend and her Family. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland xx
I can only say THANK YOU to you and GOD. Blessings always
Thank you for this devotion Holly. My Mom went to be with Jesus January 2, 2025. (2 weeks ago today). No matter how old they are, or what the circumstances may be, you are never prepared for the grief that will take over. The pain is incredible, yet I have peace knowing she is with Jesus and my Dad. I miss her terribly. I thank God that my parents knew God and I know God and He knows us, every detail. Thank you for the reminder that God understands. I pray for all those grieving and that you will feel God’s comfort though His Word and His Peace & Love.
Thank you for these words. The thoughts, effort, and prayer over this article are GREATLY appreciated. You’ve validated many steps in my grief process. The depth of the wound left by grief is unfathomable. I will read and reread your words.
Holley,
why are we so hard on ourselves? We should allow ourselves to feel all the emotions. Don’t worry about how long your grief lasts. Take the time to remember the person you lost. It is alright to not be alright. You don’t have to plaster a smile on your face all the time. God understands us better than we do. He wants us to emote. Go ahead cry, feel sad, shout for joy. What ever emotions you are feeling let it out.
Blessings 🙂