“Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.”
Luke 12:27 NIV
“How old is your daughter again?” I asked.
“Fourteen months!” she responded.
Yup, just as I thought, her daughter was only a month older than my youngest, and yet my daughter was sitting in the stroller instead of playing. Why? Because she couldn’t keep up with the other kids as they ran, jumped, and climbed. My daughter was born with Down syndrome, which physically includes lower muscle tone than the typical child. This means that her timeline to do what typical kids her age are doing takes longer. Almost immediately, my mood plummeted.
We’ve all read the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” right? Oof, I can attest to that. I wish it were as easy as saying, “Well, just don’t compare!” But sometimes, telling ourselves to stop comparing means we hinder breaking down why we compare in the first place, which is necessary to stop comparing.
Why was I comparing? Because I felt like she was left out, I was impatient, and most of all, I didn’t trust God’s timeline and provision for her. But as Scripture tells us, the wildflowers don’t toil and labor, and yet they grow exactly the way God intends.
Why did I let comparison steal my joy and amplify my doubts about my beautiful wildflower? So what if it takes her a little longer to do the things that kids her age are doing? So what if she never does something they do? She has her deliberate timeline, and my role as her mom isn’t to rush or push her but to guide and support her. I don’t need to toil and labor and worry! I need to trust.
The next time I saw this mom friend, I combated any initial comparative thoughts with one of openhanded trust. Over time, that surrender has meant greater joy in playdates and trust in God’s plan for my daughter.
Dear Lord, I say that I trust You, but I keep parts of me hidden. Help me open my hands and release my grip. I don’t want comparison or worry to take any more time. Amen.
Reflect: Where are you when it comes to comparing in your life? Do you see how it steals your joy? Where is your distrust louder than your trust?
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Life is full of ups and downs. We have an idea of what’s good for us — but it doesn’t always match God’s plans for us. How do we learn to trust God’s timing, provision, plans, and perspective when we’re dealing with the unexpected?
Author Shruthi Parker has some words to say about that! Her new book, Living Open-Handed: Devotions for Surrendering Control and Finding Joy in the Unexpected, invites readers to surrender control to God’s all-sustaining power and His very good will as they discover how to appreciate the ins and outs and ups and downs that life brings. Through selected verses, devotions, prayers, and reflection prompts, this 90-day devotional will leave readers with a growing sense of faith — and maybe even an unexplainable joy — in the curveballs life throws at them.
Shruthi says, “I did not write this book from a place of being an expert but rather from a place of weakness. Repeatedly, challenging life circumstances kept me craving the balm of Scripture and truth every day, and the one little flame that kept my heart hopeful in the chaos was knowing God was good. I needed to hear it continually while also learning to surrender in all things, and this book was born. When I discovered my daughter was deaf, when my husband had cancer, when, when, when . . . God showed me I didn’t need a situation to have a neat ending to have joy. I just needed Him. And oh, the joy there is! If out-of-control situations make you feel like you can’t catch your breath, or fear feels too familiar day in and day out, this book is for you.”
Isn’t that so good??
Order your copy today. . . AND also, enter to WIN one of five copies that we’re giving away*! Leave a comment on this article and be entered to win.
Then be SURE to tune in to the (in)courage podcast this weekend for a raw and passionate conversation with Becky Keife and Shruthi. Listen on your favorite podcast app!
*Giveaway open to US addresses only and will close at 11:59 pm central on 11/13/24.
Leave a Comment
Wow! I find myself comparing myself to the “normal” adult. I, too, have Down’s Syndrome. I have the mosaic form that affects 2% of our Down’s Syndrome community. Yes, I have challenges at times:, a heart scare, my development was slower when i was an infant, I have no children from a 23 year marriage. Yet, I firmly believe and know that God has four children waiting for me when I get to Heaven. Wait! The best part? I am myself! I am living the life God gave me! I have been richly blessed by God through my parents, for which I am truly thankful!
Oh control, why is it so hard to surrender?? Maturity is found in learning how to trust God no matter our circumstances. I would love a copy of this book, for myself, and to loan to a friend.
Kellie
This book sounds like just the therapy I need. I constantly finding myself gripping life way too hard. I feel like hearing about this book was perfect timing – I will be ordering a copy right after I post this. God Bless!
This could not be more timely for me today. I am struggling with the disconnect between my dreams and God’s plans. I was just asking Him this morning to help me want the Giver more than the gifts. ❤️
This is so beautiful Shruthi ! Thank you for the gift of this and the lessons I continue to battle. Comparison, such a theif… a thing that I don’t feel I struggle with but when I am honest… I DO in so many areas. I KNOW we are all unique, and that God made us for such a time as this for His purpose and the talents/gifts He has given me to use and share…. but that human side of me… UGH! Each day I start to embrace who I am, asking God to fill me with His plan, desires and guidance and capture the thoughts the enemy taunts me with as not good enough! Thank you for writing this. God bless you and all of you to be the child of God He wants you, and the only you that can be YOU! Uniquely, intricately created for His purpose, plan and glory!
The idea that I have of what might be good for me may not match God‘s plan, which is best for me. A few years ago, I heard the phrase comparison kills contentment. That hit me hard and has stuck with me.
I have just spent an hour mulling over my long past of “settling” for the ups and downs of a life of one mistake after another because I didn’t have the courage to move forward. What I thought was fear was actually a lack of TRUST that the God I professed to love had a specific plan for me. Thank you for the insight!
Loved this as I prayed for a friend pregnant with a child with
spina bifada So hard
I have battled the comparison affliction all my life. I’m better now that I’m older but it never completely goes away. I do trust God but in some situations (my adult daughters’ lack of interest in Jesus and their salvation, my grandson’s salvation) it’s hard not knowing what the real outcome will be. So I continue to pray and hope and trust in the One who knows all things.
What a wonderful thought provoking message. I clearly remember as a child comparing myself to my siblings. I knew the struggles my parents faced with my two wild child sisters. I made it my mission to be the “perfect” daughter. No tears, angry words or raised hand would force my parents to bring upon me. As I grew up, those comparisons continued through life. Perfect employee, perfect wife, perfect friend, perfect hostess. The list goes on.
I missed the joy of simply being God’s child, perfectly imperfect. I’ve learned to let go more and more. But control is a powerful thing and not easy to release. Maybe this book would open that door another inch.
OH, THE JOY THAT WE HAVE IN HIM!!!!!!
This is a book worth winning! No matter the trial, HE is there to see us through!! God BLESS,
Sounds like such a good book! Thank you for the opportunity to win! I do find myself comparing my life with others since life got really hard 10+ years ago. It is a struggle not to compare!!
Sounds like a lovely, encouraging devotional!
Can’t wait to get a copy!
“craving the balm of Scripture and truth every day, and the one little flame that kept my heart hopeful in the chaos was knowing God was good. “…. love this!
What an amazing devotional. Congratulations Shruthi \0/
Shruthi,
God is so good to come alongside us with peace that passes understanding calming the storm in us while storms around us rage.
Sending you autumn joy,
Lisa Wilt, author
Super excited to check this out!
Thank you for sharing. This message was a blessing to my heart. I look forward to learning more in your book.
Yes my grandson is in prison and we are learning to ask Jesus for His joy. Lift is full of calamities etc. But God is in control and I don’t need to understand everything.
Still in progress.
Linda
Being raised by a single parent who has a negative take on everything and constantly comparing me to others has no doubt left scars on my heart and mind. Although I now know Jesus, I struggle to find my person or people who can relate to me or have the patience for my negative outlook, no matter how hard I try to be positive. My hope is that 90 days with this devotional will help to turn my negativity into a good thing. I can’t wait til my copy arrives.
I agree – comparisons do steal joy and everyone has to go at their own pace. Living with gratitde helps to alleviate the tendancy
to compare.
Thank you for the reminder about finding joy in many ways and times and how comparison robs us of joy.
God bless.
Truly loved reading this. We must surrender, surrender, surrender. It’s so hard and we often don’t see the benefits of it in the moment. Thank you for sharing. The only way to is to trust Him.
My children are in their early 40s and every now and again that little voice pops up about how my friends kids have better jobs, make more money, have nicer homes, etc. I have to remind myself that my son and daughter are happy and healthy and love their respective lives. I need to remember and celebrate who they are and not let the comparisons steal the joy.
The question you asked about, “where is your distrust louder than your trust?” hits home to me. I’ve always struggled with control. Back in May of this year I was in an accident that the insurance company deemed to be my fault. I did not receive a ticket or anything of that nature, but the resolution of the claim still has not come. The unknown of what might happen has been so difficult for me. I have no control over the situation, but I want it to be over. I don’t want to ruminate about it in my mind anymore. I want so badly to believe that God has it under control and that he is working all of together for my good. But I’m stressing.
I think I needed this reminder. Thank you. Sometimes I struggle with comparison too. I have Cerebral Palsy and that has brought about its challenges, but I have to remember everything is beautiful in its time.
Thank you for sharing. I struggle with comparison and contentment all my life. The reason for that is because I am deaf. It took me a long time to realize that it was God’s plan all along. Surrendering to God is not a one time thing…it is an everyday thing. Gratitude for the things I do have helps me to embrace contentment.
I would love the opportunity to win your book and share with a friend.
God Bless
This was exactly the message I needed today.
Shruthi,
Social media & advertising make it seem like you’re not perfect without this or that. We buy into that lie. Truth is we aren’t perfect. Just fearfully & wonderfully humans created by a loving God. We need to know that we are loved no matter how we look. Trust that Jesus has a perfect plan for our lives.
Blessings 🙂
This was so relevant to me. I can’t wait to read more.
Thank you for your encouraging words! I fall into the comparison trap so easily. I’m holding onto your quote “God showed me I didn’t need a situation to have a neat ending to have joy. I just needed Him.” Truly the Lord is our sufficiency in every way. Blessings to you and your family.
I would love to win this devotional! As a fellow mom to a baby with Down syndrome I came across Shruthi’s instagram and have felt such encouragement from her posts. She offers such wisdom and spiritual truth and I would love to have her devotional!
God is good and His plans are good. And yet, it’s so incredibly hard to relinquish our own comfortable, seemingly safer plans for His. This book will be a gift to many women who struggle with opening our hands and trusting that we will and can be okay in His perfect will.
What timing to read this. I need to work on trusting when it is his time not mine.