My kids never saw it coming. They’d spent the day asking for snacks and demanding that I referee disagreements over screen time. The pressure to scream and run away built as I stared at the laundry heaped on the couch, dinner waiting to go into the oven, and my phone buzzing with text messages from work.
How can I do it all when there’s too much to get done?
“Mom . . . Mom . . . MOM!!!!”
That last “Mom” did it.
“Kids, get down here!”
My crew tumbled down into the kitchen. The kids jockeyed for positions farthest away from a mother who looked like she was about to blow. Well, they were right. I was doing my best to keep my chaotic life together, but I could feel myself falling apart. I needed a break. Desperation led to inspiration. I decided it was time for “Mom” to take the rest of the day off.
“For the rest of the day, you will call me . . . Betty.”
The kids took turns staring at me and each other. My oldest squinted through skeptical eyes and asked, “So, we can’t call you ‘Mom’?”
Warming up to the idea, I smiled, “My name is now Betty. Now, go play.”
For the next few hours, I worked on emails and laundry while the kids stammered through a mishmash of my old name and new. “Moooo—Um, Betty? Can I get some juice?” We began giggling each time they called me Betty.
Fifteen years later, my kids still laugh about “Call Me Betty” day. I laugh about it, too. I believe that silly idea was an act of grace from a compassionate God who knew I needed a break, and so did my kids.
Because back then, my constant overwhelm wasn’t funny.
My life looked like a field of spinning plates, and I felt like a latex balloon. Every plate represented an obligation or responsibility that I needed to keep spinning so that it didn’t crash to the ground. However, my insides felt like a balloon getting bigger, stretching thinner as the pressure to keep all the plates spinning.
The more stretched I felt, the more I snapped at the kids. The more pressure building inside, the harder it was for me to sleep or sit still. I felt like everything was on my shoulders and I couldn’t mess it up.
I was chronically overwhelmed.
Have you been there? Stretched too thin, drowning in our responsibilities, or unable to know what to do next?
My definition of overwhelmed is having too much to do, not enough time to do it, and feeling unsure, paralyzed, or stuck on how to fix it or move forward.
No matter how it happens, no one is happy when overwhelmed. When it all feels like too much, and you don’t know what to do about it, you’re not enjoying your relationships, faith, or life.
I love how King David captures the heart of the overwhelmed:
“Listen to my prayer, O God.
Do not ignore my cry for help!
Please listen and answer me,
for I am overwhelmed by my troubles.
Fear and trembling overwhelm me,
and I can’t stop shaking.
Oh, that I had wings like a dove;
then I would fly away and rest!”
Psalm 55:1-2,5-6 NLT
King David wrote these words after one of his sons tried to overthrow his kingdom. At the same time, God called David a “man after his own heart,” but that didn’t mean King David was spared from circumstances that flooded every part of his being with the desire to run away from it all.
What should you do if you’re feeling overwhelmed today? Follow King David’s example. Rather than turn away from God in his problems, David turned toward God. He didn’t hide his honest and raw emotions; you don’t have to either. In Psalm 55, David continues to pour out his heart, and here’s where he lands — this is an invitation for you as well:
“Give your burdens to the Lord,
and he will take care of you.
He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.”
Psalm 55:22 NLT
Maybe you’ve never read words like this in the Bible describing how you’ve been feeling lately. Perhaps today, you might be relieved to know that God isn’t disappointed that you’re overwhelmed and that you wish you could escape from the pressure and all the responsibilities.
Tell God what’s too much for you to handle today and hand it to Him.
And feel free to change your name to Betty if it helps.
Excerpts taken from Barb Roose’s new Bible study, Stronger Than Stress: Developing 10 Spiritual Practices to Win the Battle of Overwhelm.
Dear Barb……I laughed when I opened your devotion today. “Call Me Betty” is something that bothers me. My name is Betsy and my mother’s name was Elizabeth and they called her Betsy, but now mail that I get from people asking for money have changed my mailing address to Elizabeth Basile. It kind of always reminds me of my beloved mother who is gone from this Earth now and then I get upset. Why do they think that Betsy is a nickname? Anyway, I loved your devotion Barb and right now I am working on your book “Stronger than stress” so I was really excited that you wrote today’s devotion. Your story touched me in a way that I never thought of. I am 76 years old so I don’t have the children anymore to contend with their questions and wants, but I do have several very serious and complicated situations that I am trying to deal with. I have cast these to God, but I get too impatient and then I don’t know if maybe He did not hear them, but I know that is wrong too. He hears everything and I have seen some things that He has done for me, but I also know it is on His timeline. I am going to keep this devotion and say the prayers that you included. Really, the whole story was perfect to help me deal with all these things that have piled up on me besides the laundry, the cleaning, the errands, etc. etc. One thing I would ask you is do you have anything you can tell me that I can STOP this impatience. I know it comes from my work life of 45 years where I was supervisors and finally my “Dream Job” of becoming a C/S Manager. I needed to do all things and somehow get them done. That is how I ended up doing a good job and pleasing everyone. My upper manager once told me that I didn’t think enough about myself, but everyone else. I have told myself this over and over to take today off and just do what I want to do, but then I see something I should have done 3 days ago, so I get up and do it. Well, that was the end of taking my day off. I am so weary and don’t sleep well thinking about all the things I need to do tomorrow. I pray all the time for Jesus to help me and my Holy Spirit is great for giving me signs or little nudges. Sorry to ramble on Barb, but I would like to thank you for the devotion today. It will really stick in my mind and maybe I should call myself something else like Jeanne which is my middle name. My prayers and love I send to you and much gratitude for you and your books and your words. Happy Labor Day. Hmmmm…..Does that tell us something about today? Take care…………..Betsy Basile
Betsy, thank you for your message and I’m so glad that you’re enjoying the Stronger Than Stress book. I pray that God uses each page to encourage you. It’s hard to break old stress habits, but I applaud your willingness to let go of the past in favor of inviting God to keep working in your heart. Your comment will inspire others today!
LOVED IT!!!!
GREAT! Phyllis, thank you for joining us on (in)courage today!
Barb,
So good I shared x2! Thank you! R E S T. Perfect message for this Labor Day!
Send you end-of-summerJOY,
Lisa Wilt
You’re welcome, Lisa! I hope that this post encourages everyone that you share this post with today. Happy Labor Day to you!
I like be this, Barb! We all have these days. What a novel way to fix your dilemma for a day!
I meant my post to say: “I love this! ” Somewhere between my brain and my fingers, something went awry.
Ha! No worries – I took your meeting and thank you again!
I’m glad that you enjoyed the post and yes, we all have those days – it’s so good that God meets us on those overwhelming days with love and grace.
Dear Barb, thank you for your encouraging message this morning. I am 77, soon to be 78. I wasn’t blessed with children of my own, but 3 grown children of my husband’s. The 2 daughters lived with us for 20 years. We helped support them on our limited fixed SS income. There were MANY difficult days, weeks, and years. I also suffer seasons of depression and anxiety as well as a debilitating back condition. I have suffered much loss over the past 10 years. Until then and most of my life I have been blessed with good health and strength but now am grieving the losses of being unable to do much of anything but lay on my back in the bedroom day and night. I am very lonely and miss the company and conversation of my husband and my dear longtime girlfriends. I do have my little cocker spaniel and she is my “child”. I look to the Lord Jesus and thank Him for all my many blessings and pray for my family, neighbors and friends daily. God’s richest blessings to you all and may He encourage your hearts and be the Lifter of your heads.
Sweet Donna, I’m so glad that you joined us here on (in)courage today. I’m glad that today’s devotional was an encouragement to your heart, especially as the years have not been easy. God has used you today to remind others to keep looking up to Him with gratitude and trusting that He will love and care for us.
Barb,
I did this same thing with my kids once, only I told them to call me Fred. They thought it was hilarious and called me Fred for the rest of the day. It definitely lightened the mood for all of us
Amy, that’s so fun! Fred – I wish I would have thought of that name, ha! Thank you for sharing your comment with us.
Dear Barb
Yes I agree with what you said in today’s reading. Even though I don’t have kids. I was not brave enough to give birth. But happy me and my Husband with just either. I suffer seizures. There are days and time I do get over whelmed. I say why this happing to me. I do my elderly Dad’s Home Monday to Friday. It not the fact of doing my Dad’s Home that gets to me. I do my Dad’s Home for the Love of the Lord and my Dad. I enjoyed doing it. But I get over whelmed when my Dad because of his memory at times and days it brilliant. Times it not that good. He can ask me something I at times can’t answer it. Because I don’t know the answer. He get annoyed I don’t know the answer. When I do if in that mood my Dad he can ask how do you know that. It go on and on. You have to be patient and bite your tongue. You say to yourself Dad when are all questions going to stop. But don’t let him hear you thinking that to yourself. You say Dad I am away to do your House. To get away from all the questions he is asking you. You rather just go in say Hello to him and get on with doing his House. Not having him asking all the questions. Some you can answer some you can’t. Then sometimes his House needs more cleaning than yesterday. You think how did he make so much mess. But you say nothing keep your cool. Just go on then when you get home. But you do it the next day to become he your Dad and he needs you and you Love him. There could be more questions that day and him wanting answers to them. You have to brave yourself for that. As if you do or don’t have the answers. He will then say if you have how do you know that. If you don’t why don’t you know the answer. It can stress you out. But you keep your cool and be patient. So you say Lord hope today he not full of questions questions. Expecting you have the answers. When you called to see him and do his House. Then he getting annoyed with you if don’t know. You then when get home after doing his House. Say to God my Dad and questions getting to much. As it annoys him if you don’t know answers. You get annoyed you can’t tell him. You try to explain that he doesn’t understand why you don’t know. So I just pray as God every day I go to give me patience and respect for my elderly Dad. Try not to let his question get to me. Especially if a day he in a mood for asking quite a few. You know the answers to some. Some you don’t. You know in your mind the ones you don’t it going to annoy him you don’t. That why you ask God to give you patience to not get annoyed with him. Stay calm try explain you don’t know and just get on with doing his House. It not easy but God understands. I love all you said in today’s reading Barb it speaks volumes to me. Thank you for it. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland xx
Dawn, thank you for joining us and we’re glad that our (in)courage community is here to offer you the encouragement and support that you need to keep trusting God as you serve your father.
This made me laugh and nod in agreement, thankful that God sometimes gives us just the random thought we need exactly when we need it. Yesterday I told my adult daughter and hubby that I was submitting my 1 day notice on a long term project we’ve been working on together. Because I needed it off my mental plate! They laughed. My son “tsk tsked” and said that wasn’t a very good work ethic and I felt so much better knowing I’m turning over my part in the project for now. Sometimes God gives us just the perspective shift we need to keep doing the same work with a better attitude, doesn’t He? I’m so thankful! And I might have them call me Betty today. 🙂
Hi Melissa! Thank you joining us on (in)courage today. I’m glad that my Betty story made you laugh and connected with you. I’m glad that God gave you that wise prompt to release the project so that you can free up your mental space.
Sometimes I feel God is telling me this is your new normal in the brokenness in our family so just deal with it. I wonder when to stop praying for something that maybe is impossible.
Precious Julie, while I’m not sure what you are going through, but God will not fail you. I’m so glad that you are here with us at (in)courage and I hope that you scroll through the blog and read the posts from the other contributors. Life can be so hard and heartbreaking – our hearts hurt for you. Our hope is to talk about every part of life and faith so that you know that you’re never alone and that God is with you in everything that you’re going through.
Thank you for this. Yes, I often feel overwhelmed. I thank God for his grace and mercy. I can take my burdens to the Lord and leave them there.
Thank you for this reminder. I’m thankful and glad that we can bring all that we are to the lord, overwhelmedness and all and that He is there for us.
So so good. Thank you!
Love, love, love this!! Our God has a wonderful sense of humor and so do his children. Thank you for sharing the truths of His word and His heart!!