Following Jesus is not easy. Taking up my cross, sacrificing, and surrendering is not what I had in mind for my summer plans. I feel broken, bruised, battered, and, quite honestly, at times, even defeated.
This season, I’ve cried hard. You know, the kind of crying where snot streams down your face, racing the tears that won’t stop? That kind.
As a follower of Jesus, it sometimes feels like I’m constantly being hit from all sides. I know I’m supposed to trust God in the process, but right now, the process hurts more than the progress. What do we do when the price of suffering feels greater than the outcome?
Every day, I strive to keep it together so that no one else is disheartened by my struggles. I am seen as a leader, a preacher, and a disciple-maker. Most importantly, I am a child of God. However, I often feel depleted, having given all that I have.
At times, I find myself losing the will to keep the faith and wanting to give up, believing that trusting in myself is better than trusting God. Yet, amid this reality, Jesus has met me. He continues to pursue me, showering me with His love. His love pursues me even when I fail to notice because I have found temporary solace in what’s been comfortable: survival rather than choosing to live in freedom.
My struggles this season have been my thoughts, attitudes, and stubbornness. I know God tells me to cast my cares on Him because He cares for me, but often, doubt takes root and I wonder if He really cares. My experiences seem to suggest otherwise — my growing burdens and long-suffering prayers a seemingly clear indication of God’s lack of concern. And that’s where I’ve gone astray. Perhaps you have, too.
I have often traded His goodness for my own, making it about what makes me feel good. I placed my emotions on the throne instead of allowing God to be Lord and giving Him lordship over my emotions. I gave my feelings permission to dictate my posture, thus replacing God in the equation.
Today, God’s invitation to me and to you is a wholehearted surrender. Like a robber caught red-handed, arms flailing to the sky, finally giving up, we too have the opportunity to confess that we’re a wild mess and accept that Jesus is enough; the cross is enough.
We must reach the end of ourselves, where we can wholeheartedly proclaim, “You can have all this world, but give me Jesus.”
I’ve been grappling with hard questions, “Is Jesus truly enough? Would He be enough if I never wrote that book, spoke on another platform, or saw another dream fulfilled?”
I may not know the specifics of your life or the idols you have chosen, but one thing is sure: we all have our own set of them. Don’t misunderstand me. The Lord cares for you, including your dreams, goals, and desires — after all, He gave them to you. But He also cares for your soul. Jesus must be above all else in our lives. Nothing in this world can fill the void that was only meant to be filled by Him.
Take a moment to reflect on this crucial question: Is Jesus truly enough for you?
If you answer no, may I offer you the gift the Lord has often offered me this season? Repentance. This is an opportunity to surrender, confess, and rid yourself of the idols that you’ve been relying on. Recognize that victory comes through Him. Proclaim that Jesus is and will forever be enough; nothing else will do.
While there is still a cross to carry and a call to be a living sacrifice and die to self, I’ve learned that His grace is sufficient for me, as it is for you, too. Even with tears streaming down your face and every part of you wanting to give up, trusting the process means that even though we may not understand the plan, we trust the One leading. He has never failed and never will, and although we may feel broken, bruised, and battered, through Jesus we are certainly never defeated.
Thank you for being so real in sharing your situation. You’re helping others to know we aren’t alone.
God bless!
We are never alone, amiga. May the Lord’s presence fill your heart and mind with His peace and assurance that He is with and for you.
Ligia, this was so helpful. I have been feeling guilty for doubting that God hears me and cares. I’ve been feeling so low and like you, the tears have been gushing. I’ve always been a take charge kind of person, thinking I can do it all. I am in a phase of my life where I have had to accept limitations and realities that I don’t like. Knowing others may be feeling the same helps. Thank you for your honesty.
“I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:13-14
Oh Ligia, thank you so much for sharing your struggles, which mirror my own the past 6 years. Your insight has given me much to think about. I’m praying for you!
May the Lord meet you in your thoughts and continuously fill your heart with His abundant love. May His strength become yours, and may your hope be tied to His faithfulness.
Hallelujah !
Thank You Lord for Your Tender Mercies, they are new every morning
(Paraphrased).
How Marvelous is Your Name in All the Earth (Paraphrased).
Lord, I pray that You allow me to
submit to You, resist the enemy, and he flees from me (Paraphrased).
I accept Your Invitation to keep my heart repentant before You Lord. It has been my waywardness that has caused me to have a bad attitude in my Prayer Life. Your Will is for me to trust and obey Your Word.
Unanswered prayers can tempt some of Your children (even those with great faith intentions) to want quick answers to their problems. I’m not always that type but I have noticed that since I am much older, I seem to be asking for more answers. I do believe You Hear my prayers with thanksgiving from me. It is Your Pleasure to Give Your Children the Kingdom (Paraphrased).
I know that my admission to desiring to keep a repentant heart may resonate with others.
God Bless my Brothers & Sisters
In Christ
Amen!
Dear Ligia, thank you for your encouraging words. Of course, Jesus is enough! So why do I long for more, deeper (or more fun) friendships, when He is enough? I can choose to be content with what I have. I can do that!
Irene, it’s okay to long for friendship, and Jesus understands. Praying the Lord meets the desires of your heart for friendship.
Dear Ligia, I love your story and I must admit about 2 years ago, I had the exact same feeling and experience you did. My husband has the violent type of dementia. I had recognized this about 6 years ago and even though I got him to 2 neurologists who both diagnosed this what they call, the worst type of the 100s of dementia that is out there. He can fool you for about 10 minutes, but then he completely forget that you talked to him and what was said. He was in denial from from the very start. He told our 1 son that I was lying and my son believed him and not me that led him to call me and tell me going on 2 years ago that he no longer considered me his mother and I could never, ever again see my 12 year old grandson or talk to him and he hung up. I collapsed in a ball of tears and snot running down my face. How could this happen? I prayed and prayed and prayed some more, but to no avail. I began to wonder whether Jesus was enough or whether he really cared. I certainly was a leader at my job for 35 years and a church goer since my parents started me in Sunday school when I was 5 . so it wasn’t that I was NOT a believer. There is much in between this part of the story, and on 4/20/2023 he almost killed me before the police got there and I had to have him evicted from our house of 40 years. I am soon to be 77 years old and we have been married for 55 years. I needed to file for divorce as it was not safe to ever live with him again and he was in another facility than I am. I had stayed with him at the house for 3+ years trying to get him out of denial and go back to the doctors. All he said was, “NO” every time I tried. He would get into dementia rages as he was drinking way too much and he abused me every night until 4/20/2023 when I thought He was going to kill me and he did hurt me a lot. So for 18 months I have been trying to get the PSA and the divorce settled. I was prayed out if that is a word. Didn’t Jesus care about me? I was on the verge of giving up when last week I got a sign from my Holy Spirit that my husband would finally sign the papers. I thought I would be so relieved, but instead I got very emotional about it and the day I was to drive to the attorney’s office, I didn’t think I could do it and another God-Wink ( that’s what the Hallmark movies I watch call it ) means Divine intervention. I was just 2 steps from the door when 2 friends showed up and they knew my situation. They actually prayed over me and by the time I got to my car I was feeling much better and stronger. I got there and signed the papers. Sorry about the long email, but here is what I learned. I always knew that ‘God had his own timeline and it could be years, but when I got back to my apartment and prayed and remembered some of the scriptures that the incourage community of women send me each day, I realized that God was not punishing me or testing me, but due to everything during this 18 months He was building my strength and YES, I do know I will never doubt Jesus again. I need to have more patience and know that my Holy Spirit is always with me and Jesus is guiding me on my journey. Thank you Ligia for your very beautiful story as I thought I was the only one who felt this way at that time. Your words have also strengthened me so I am feeling much better as the situation still has a way to go, but I know it will happen when it is time and I continue to pray and I will never doubt Jesus again. Prayers and cares to you, Ligia. Betsy Basile
Thank you, Lord, for your strength and love for Betsy! Sending you a big hug, amiga!
Ligia
I shared this x 2 because I think it is so relatable,
Sending you Summer Joy!
Lisa Wilt
Thank you for sharing, Lisa. I pray these words will continue to encourage others. Enjoy the rest of your summer!
Tears streaming down my face as I sit here in conviction, repentance, and surrender to the Lord, in ALL areas of my life and what I have been going through. Thank you, Ligia, for this timely message of truth and hope, I really needed it.
I am so grateful for His love and grace, His intentionality me, and all of us. I choose surrender and trust in the Lord fully today, even if it’s minute by minute!!
“even if it’s minute by minute!!” – that’s all. The Lord understands Cammie. I am grateful these words encouraged you today.
A big hug to you as well!
Jesus is the answer no matter what. We might have to wait for Jesus to answer us. Ligia wait we might not be good at. But Jesus could be testing our faith to see do we keep our eyes on him for the answer. Not going our way looking forward answers else were. I been in different situations and the only person who has helped me told me what to through the Holy Spirit. It has not been easy. As you have to learn to say no. Don’t do what people want you do in your family pleasing them. You think it easier than a row happen. But when Jesus says no. You can’t be pleasing them all the time. As you think to not have a row with them. You have to stand up for yourself. Do what Jesus tell you do. Say no even if they don’t like you for that. You are thinking of your health. They because they are not saved. Think your not being very Christian. I had that said to me. You say your a Christian. Your not being very Christian now. If you were you do it. But you have to as if you don’t say no and please them. Doing it you can make yourself ill. I suffer seizures. Then take one as you over done it. I do my Dad’s Home Help. To help my Dad Monday to Friday. My Dad is 83. When his carer of on Holiday and my family have asked me to extra. In the past said yes. Then over done it. Been very tired and little energy to do my Dad’s Home Help as he needs me to do. Then I made myself ill and taken seizures. So I got to listen to Jesus. Get into the habit of saying no. Even if they use black mail saying I not being very Christian. Know Jesus told me Satan is behind. Let my unsaved family think what they want of me for saying no. Do as Jesus said. Think of my health. I loved you Ligia all you shared. It spoke to me. Thank you. I just not good at saying no. Especially to my family. I think it easier just to do it. What they want me to do. To avoid a row which I don’t want or like. Thank you for todays reading. Keeping you all incourage in my prayers. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland xx
Ligia,
As I age I find it easier to let Jesus be enough for me. I’ve had my fill of this world & it doesn’t offer that much. Whole heartedly surrendering everything to God. Daily brining Him the sacrifice of praise, worship, and prayer.
Blessings 🙂