Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
I John 3:18 NIV
What I have come to know as a therapist (and human) is that one of the best ways, if not the best way, to connect with someone is to let them know you care by creating a “safe zone” for them. You do this by sitting and listening (without reprimand or judgment), not trying to correct, fix, or change them — just listening and letting them know they have been heard, understood, and seen. What this really involves is learning how to meet people where they are. Meet them in their greatest joy or deepest pain.
At times when words are elusive and you don’t know what to say, just acknowledge, “I don’t know what to say to you right now, but what I do know is that I want to be here for you.” When you are able to say that to another person, they immediately feel connected to you, understood by you, and safe; they don’t feel alone anymore. This fosters a sense of belonging . . . like family.
God has His own version of “meeting people where they are,” and it’s found in Romans 12:15 (NASB): “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” This extraordinary passage of Scripture implies that if there is reason to celebrate, then celebrate joyfully. And if there is reason for weeping, then weep and do so deeply. God is the Creator and Author of all emotions, which are meant to be felt and expressed both as individuals and together in community.
First John 3:18 reinforces this call to love one another fully. John writes, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (NIV). In modern-day language, another way of saying this verse might be: Love shows up! I experienced this on a very personal level not long ago, when my mother passed away. God’s own people were in fact the hands and feet of Jesus to me and my family in very practical ways. They met me where I was in my grief and supplied my needs, some of which I didn’t even know I had. And if they didn’t know what to say or do, they prayed or sent a gift card or brought my favorite coffee to me or delivered food or sent a text of encouragement. The list goes on and on because love shows up — in many ways and in different forms. It sacrifices for those it serves.
The more we look beyond ourselves, the closer we connect to others and to God. So the gift of serving is really a reflection of our love for God spilled out to others so they can see Him more clearly.
Devotion by Susan Goss, as published in the Faith, Love, Forgiveness Devotional Journal
It’s so easy to get caught up in things we can’t control, to get stuck in places we don’t want to be, and to listen to and believe messages that simply aren’t true. When around you the world is whirling and you don’t know what to grab onto, hold on to these three things: your faith in Jesus, His unconditional love for you, and the forgiveness He promises you. Experience all three with the new devotional journal Faith, Love, Forgiveness, by Susan Goss!
Susan Goss and Beth Moore grew up together in Northwest Arkansas, have stayed dear friends for decades, and now share their hearts for Faith, Love, and Forgiveness together in the Introduction:
“It is our hope that this devotional journal will help you focus on where you truly are in these three areas. How strong is your faith? Do you feel His love for you? Are you expressing His love to those around you? Are you forgiving yourself for the past? Are you accepting God’s mercy with an open heart?
One of the most wonderful things about God is . . . He doesn’t expect perfection. In fact, He knows it’s not possible. The two of us have not always gotten it right either. But it’s in those moments when we feel unsettled, like it’s all falling apart on us, that we have learned to turn to God. To have a heart-to-heart with Him. To ask Him to strengthen our faith, to fill us with His love, and to release us from the pain of unforgiveness. Maybe it’s time for you to have this type of honest conversation with your Creator.”
Order your copy today . . . and leave a comment below for a chance to WIN a copy*!
Then join Becky Keife this weekend on the (in)courage podcast for a conversation with Susan about this very special new journal. They dive deep into forgiveness — what holds us back and how to move forward with Jesus. Don’t miss it!
What a beautiful reminder, I have a very special friend walking through a hard season right now that no words seem to be enough for. Thank you for sharing that presence matters more than words
This is so timely for me. I am getting ready to attend a memorial service and afterwards, to help with the reception at my church. I have been struggling with what to say to the family- too much to get into. I was praying to the Holy Spirit to give me the right words to say. But maybe I don’t need words. I can be there, I can listen and show my love by my service.
This is right on time. My niece lost her 6wk old baby Sunday. While we wait on answers all I’ve been doing is just sitting with her and allowing her to express all she’s feeling. We don’t always have to talk or have the right answers; all is needed at times is to just show up and be there with your presence. It’s a time and season for everything.
I have a daughter who often just needs me to listen, not solve the challenges in her life. Thank you for this reminder that God loves us where we are at.
I’d love this book!
I struggle with forgiving myself for mistakes made in parenting. My girls are now adults and far from God and it breaks my heart. I pray for them so desperately daily and have for decades but see no change. I know God is working and I have hope that He will bring them back. Thank you for the chance to win this book! I love Beth Moore so would like to get to know her friend through this book.
Susan,
I just shared your post (x3 on FB, Twitter and Pinterest) because I believe you are correct! We can listen to others who are hurting. This is love. This is friendship. When we don’t know what to say, say NOthing.
Thank you for sharing.
Sending you summer joy,
Lisa Wilt – Author
This message today has helped me more than you can imagine. It was Jesus who sent me this particular devotional as I have a very difficult phone call I need to make today for the residents that live where I live. Your words were perfect for this call. I will use some of them if you don’t mind, but not scriptures as I do not know this man and sometimes you may say something about Jesus or Our Lord, and it is not taken well as they are not believers. I will reply some more after the call. How do we go about ordering your book. Dayspring keeps asking me to log in and I don’t have a user ID or password and I have bought many books by the (in)courage community before without logging in. Thank you so much for your words. I think they may just make my call positive to the gentleman I need to talk to……………Betsy Basile
It is so much better to sit and say nothing. It is so unproductive to comment that things will get better, it’s God’s plan, you just have to have faith. The comments I absolutely can’t stand are telling me what I should have done or how I should have responded. Just let me have my feelings, work through them, and hold my hand.
It sounds like a wonderful book. Thanks for the opportunity and the reminder
Book sounds lovely. I know Jesus loves us and forgives us. When we ask him to. So that makes us have to be like Jesus. If we know some one has done wrong day in your family and they are closely related to you. You are very hurt and annoyed by what they have done to you and your Family. Or it could be a Friend too. No matter who it is. Like it says in Ephesians 4:32. “And be kind to one another tenderhearted forgiving one another even as God in Christ forgave you.” How true that is. We when we forgive like Jesus did by forgiving us for our sins and going to the cross for us. Jesus showed kindness to people in his day when on earth and does the same today for us. So wee have done what this verse says. Then when we do we feel so much better for doing it. We look at the people or person who has hurt us. In a different light. We can then pray for them like Jesus would us to. The hurt doesn’t annoy us anymore even though we will never forget about it. I done that with one person. You know what I will never forget get what they did. But it doesn’t annoy me. I love them in the Lord. I now can talk to them let them know I forgiven them and love. Even if they never do. I know Jesus is pleased with me for doing it his Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx
What a blessing this book would be for me in this season of life. Our God is so faithful to provide exactly what we need, when we need it. ♥️
I really loved this podcast, especially because I’m learning that all emotions are given by God, and are made to be felt. I’m also learning to share all my feelings with God. He knows what I feel, but I experience a great sense closeness to Him as I talk with Him about my feelings.
Lord, help me to be a safe zone for my troubled friend. When I’m eager to suggest fixes, help me to offer her just my heart.
Journaling is a very important part of my morning devotion time. Faith, Love, Forgiveness are 3 very important subjects to include in your daily time with God. What a blessing it would be for me to receive this journal!
Thank you for the reminder that God doesn’t expect perfection, and that we need to be real with others and ourselves.
The message contained within this book will help many who are in need of forgiveness. I will share this book with those who the Lord puts on my heart.
Thank you both
This sounds so good! I find journaling really helps me release and sort out my thoughts and feelings.
Sounds like such a beneficial read! Thanks for another opportunity to win!
Susan,
Love is an action word. The easiest way to “love” others is by doing things for them without their asking. Just yesterday (6/29) I made a loaf of bread for a friend who lost her last sister. I took it to her & sat with her for a few minutes listening to her talk about the sister. Food is my go to for actions. When my pastor’s wife was moving her mom down here I made a chicken pot pie & a loaf of bread for them to eat.
Showing love at work means listening to the patients. Finding out how they are feeling & if they need anything. Mostly just letting them talk & smiling. My way of showing them they are loved & cared for. Plus trying to brighten up their day.
Blessings 🙂