The hunter-green box sat tucked among books in the antique store, a mystery hiding in plain sight. One word on the spine caught my eye: puzzle.
As an author and a voracious reader, I’m naturally drawn to the book section of any store, my neck bent as I peruse the selection. But I’m also a puzzle person. Every Christmas, Mom and I try to beat our personal record of puzzles completed. Movies play in the background while we sort, organize, and put the pictures together. We have it down to a science at this point, starting and finishing fourteen 500-1,000 piece puzzles over the last holiday break.
It’s no wonder the green box called my name. Designed to look like a hardback book sitting on a shelf, the “front page” opened to reveal puzzle pieces. Immediately, I was intrigued. But when I read the back of the box, like its own book description, I was sold.
See, this puzzle included 500 pieces and an envelope with a clue . . . but no picture of what would be the finished design.
Challenge accepted, I said to myself before walking toward the cash register.
Let’s see how this goes, I thought as I later dumped the pieces onto my kitchen table.
There were a few moments of frustration, a couple of exasperated “What in the world is going on here?” questions, and eventually “Oh! I see!” exclamations. Two hours later, I stood back and admired the completed scene.
What didn’t make sense at the moment was crystal clear at the end.
I’m writing this just days after Easter, and it’s easy to see the metaphor hiding in plain sight. Still, the memory of the mystery puzzle startled me with its timing. Holy Week, the days stretching from Palm Sunday to Easter, hold the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. In my personal life, this week holds tender and difficult memories. This time last year, I began a post titled For When You’re (Still) Waiting on a Miracle with these words: Easter has passed and I’m still waiting for resurrection.
I’m still waiting, still watching, still hoping.
I’m still learning to rejoice in the ruins and sing in the shadows.
“Where is Jesus in these days?” I wondered again this year. Where is Jesus in the A Lot and the Too Much, the hosanna and the how can it be, the deep betrayal and the bewildering silence and the sustaining joy? Goodness is always here because Emmanuel, God With Us, promises to never leave, and so I decided to look closely, trusting God would be faithful to meet me in the “muchness” of this week.
It wasn’t until I began sitting in the beautifully specific details of Holy Week and writing out what became an email series titled “Here, in the week of it all” that I realized in some small way I was gathering puzzle pieces, examining each one while anticipating the final picture.
Every day, I opened the Gospels and read the account of what happened that particular day, each one like a chapter in a larger story, a puzzle piece that doesn’t make much sense on its own and yet fits perfectly in the completed picture. I wrote a week of devotions, tying in what I learned from my trips to Israel with Scripture and songs to sit with in our weeping and hoping, our waiting and wondering . . . and then the mystery puzzle came to mind, the final picture and daily devotion taking me by surprise.
In many ways, we know how the story ends. God goes back to a garden, Jesus doesn’t run, and Love stays on the cross. Resurrection comes with the morning and Friday becomes Good. But in our own stories, during the terrible Fridays and confusing Saturdays of our own lives, when we know the last page of the story yet have no idea what tomorrow will bring, it’s this truth that brings comfort:
“I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’”
Isaiah 46:10 NIV
God knows the end from the beginning, and no matter what or how much our days hold, He will hold us. Nothing – no thing – will take Him by surprise. There’s no such thing as “too much” for God, and He will be faithful to meet us in the muchness of our days.
I titled the final piece of the series “For All of Us” because the Good News isn’t just for each of us… it’s for all of us, every single piece of us. Come as you are, the cross beckons. Bring your sadness and confusion, your worries and fears. Bring your broken heart and your anger, your wild hope and your “Lord I believe, help my unbelief.”
One day, we’ll look back and see how every single piece had a purpose. The finished picture will be stunning. But for now, here in the days of puzzle pieces that don’t yet make sense, we wait. We watch. We hope. And we trust that the One who sees the end from the beginning will meet us in the muchness.
Our days may hold a lot, 500 pieces of This, That, and The Other… but somehow, mysteriously and miraculously, God holds us.
Rita Harvey says
Kaitlyn, you have no idea how timely and meaningful your post is today. You see I’m going to live in a assisted living facility home. Because of a serious injury I cannot walk without a walker or wheelchair. It’s just too much for my aging husband to handle. I understand it’s best, but it feels like abandonment. It brings up my childhood memories of being left in an orphanage by my mother. My childhood has been foster care and church homes. I have been blessed by wonderful people.
This move today feels particularly difficult. I can use prayers. Thank you.
KathleenB says
Rita,
I’m praying God will meet you right where you are during this time of transition and give you the grace to be surrounded with unexpected love and care in your new home. Amen.
Donna says
Dear Rita, I am praying for you! The Lord Jesus will meet you there for He promises never to leave you nor forsake you! May He comfort you, encourage your heart and be the Lifter of your head!
Cheryl says
Dear Rita ..reach up and take His hand every moment.. and “ Bloom where you are now planted”. God has a purpose for you in your new adventure ..He will use you there .Remember , this world is not our home.. and one day you will be reunited with all who truly LOVE YOU. I am 75 and my life also , has changed from a 2000 sq ft home to a 500:basement suite with osteo problems. We focus on our Savior . “ those who live In The shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the “Almighty” Psalm 91:1
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
Rita, your comment here is such a gift to all of us. Thank you for sharing openly, so we may pray specifically. I am praying today that you will feel surrounded on all sides and wrapped up, not abandoned.
Laura K. says
Kaitlyn,
I read this and also clicked on the link you provided for your Here, in the week of it all” series. I cannot tell you how your writing resonates with me and brings me peace that I am not alone. I am living a very heavy 3 years season of grief and loss and change. Your words remind me of His constancy and love and keeping my eyes fixed. Loved the Hillsong “Highlands, Songs on Ascent” and may have it on replay ALL day!!
Many Blessings for being such a blessing to all, Laura
Donna says
Dear Laura, I am praying for you! May Jesus, the Prince of Peace bring peace to your heart and comfort to your soul!
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
Laura, I’m so glad to hear that Day One of the series was right on time for you! I’ve definitely lost track of the number of times I’ve listened to those song lyrics. 🙂 Choosing a song for each day of the series was surprisingly difficult — there are so many great ones! Several days ended up having two songs – ha! I vote yes to playing that one on repeat.
Amada (pronounced: a.m.a.TH.a) says
AMEN!
Donna says
Dear Laura, I am praying for you! May Jesus, the Prince of Peace bring peace to your heart and comfort to your soul!
Lisa Wilt says
Thank you for this reminder. Some days do hold 500 puzzle pieces.
I’m always excited to see the picture that God is forming as he takes all things and work them together for my good, even those things which don’t seem good.
Sending you joy,
Lisa
Anonymous says
Some (honestly, most) days I feel like I’ve lost 490 of my 500 puzzle pieces and along the way. Trying to make a complete picture with what I have left isn’t possible. I’m exhausted searching for the missing pieces.
I also read the last chapter of a book first. I need to know how it ends. Then reading the book is so much more enjoyable as I discover how things go from point A to point B.
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
I’m pausing to pray today that you’ll be able to truly rest well this week instead of scrambling for a piece or two; that you’ll know you’re held and can just be.
Beth Williams says
Kaitlyn,
The perfect song for this blog post is Casting Crowns “Praise You in this Storm”. It speaks of us thinking God would have stepped in & saved the day by now. But no. Still we know He is with us giving mercy. So we praise Him in this storm. Psalm 23:4 Yea thou I walk through the valley of shadow of death I will fear no evil. For thou art with me. Thy rod & staff they comfort me. God wants us to know that no matter what we go through He is with us till the end. Go ahead bring your worries, confusion & trials to Jesus.
Blessings 🙂