Panic hit like a freight train. I woke up to hundreds of social media notifications on an otherwise regular Wednesday, and the one thought running through my mind was: I’ve been hacked again.
I waited for the page to load, my stomach in knots, remembering the last time this happened. Sure enough, thousands of comments filled the screen, another hundred appearing every time I clicked “see more”, and my mouth literally dropped open as I scrolled.
My eyes filled with tears as I read each and every one, slowly realizing that 99% of the strangers leaving messages wrote their own versions of “me too” or replied to someone else with a kind word or prayer.
The day before, I prayed, “God, let it cross the screen of whoever needs it today.” I took a deep breath, clicked publish, closed the browser, and stepped away. After five months of quietly sitting with the image, I attempted to put it into words, certain I didn’t have the “right” ones but confident it was time.
There must be someone who needs this visual, too, I thought.
This summer, while at the beach with my family, a storm arrived out of the clear blue. One minute the sun was shining, the waves were lapping, and the wind was a gentle breeze. The next, we scrambled to gather chairs and strained to keep the tent from flying. Rain fell in sheets and I inched forward, walking straight into a wall of wind.
It was hilarious — one of those ‘this is a memory in the making’ moments — until I stood on the balcony of the rented condo and saw the speck of a bird riding out the crashing waves. As if we switched places, I watched the bird from above and I told the One who walks on water, “That’s me right there and I’m exhausted.”
This year has been a tsunami, to put it mildly. The number of times I’ve said, “The hits just keep on coming. Every time I think I see a break in the waves, the storm picks up,” would be laughable… if it weren’t so heartbreaking.
More than ever before, I’m uninterested in pretty words that are empty promises. If you had a similar year, I imagine the same is true for you. But if you’ll let me, I’m coming up for air to share the anchor that has held.
It’s all I’ve got; it’s been more than enough.
One day, every storm will be permanently silenced. One day, chaos will be calmed for good. But for today: We don’t have to hold it together. There is One who is holding us, and He’s familiar with waves. Sometimes Jesus says, “Peace, be still” to the waters that rise, and sometimes, instead, He says those words to our overwhelmed hearts. But He never shows up with a tidy “just choose joy!” bow, never dismisses our sadness or grows weary of how long we’ve struggled to stay afloat. No, Hope just gets in the boat.
And, apparently, sometimes Hope uses a comment section to remind those who are exhausted that they’re far from alone.
The post reached nearly one million people. At first, I was heartbroken. Just one person in the middle of an intense storm is one too many. But the more I scrolled, the wider I smiled, struck by the visual of strangers reaching out to each other with encouragement like a life preserver. There were no cliches, just compassion and kindness lifting up those who raised a hand and said, “The waves won’t stop and I’m really tired.”
I wonder if you feel that way today, if you’re ready for the calendar page to turn so 2023 moves to the rearview. I wonder if the storm came out of nowhere and you’re barely inching forward, if you sang “All is calm, all is bright” on Christmas Eve while gulping for air in between the waves. I wonder if this year took everything you had and then asked for more.
There’s nothing magical about the new year, no guarantee that you and I will catch our breath right as the clock strikes midnight, but there’s a gift we get to keep unwrapping long after Christmas morning. The ever-present promise of Emmanuel, God With Us, will hold true in the storm. Jesus will stay the same no matter the calendar page.
If you’ve been pummeled by waves, you’re far from alone — there are many of us right there with you. But more importantly, we have an anchor that will hold fast, an assurance that Hope not only gets in the boat, but Hope will hold.
Hebrews 6:19 promises: “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure” (NIV).
The waves might keep on coming and the storm may keep on raging, but the sun will keep on rising. We may not know when and we may not see how, but we can trust Who.
God sees the other side, and He will see us through.
If your 2023 was a tsunami and you’d like more encouragement as you ride out the storm, Kaitlyn’s book Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between will help you choose hope for tomorrow when today feels like a question mark.
mandythompson says
Kaitlyn, thank you for your honesty this morning. I needed it. Yes I’m ready for this year to be behind me but I also know I don’t have another year in me quite yet. “Hope gets in the boat.”
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
Thanks so much for taking the time to read it!
Carol Foose says
Perfect post for today when those storm clouds have gathered an those waves of discouragement are pounding.
Kim says
Omigoodness. YES! It’s been a lot just the past few months. Going along. Head above water. Then, the rogue waves…..
Susan says
The Holy Spirit is speaking through you to me today in this quiet moment of the morning. I am pretty sure I will be fired at work today. I know I need to trust God with the outcome. Yet, I am so scared. I live by myself and I have no savings. I know that if I truly trusted God completely with the outcome, no matter what, this fear would disappear and be replaced with the hope and confidence of the Holy Spirit. I still pray that I will not be fired. Please pray for me.
Gail says
Praying for you Susan that God will fill you with His peace and provide for all your needs.
Donna says
I am praying for you, for God’s blessings and provision and His peace. He is faithful, Jehovah Jireh! He will make a way where there seems to be no way.
Rebecca says
Holy and Mighty Father, You know every detail of this situation and every need and worry. I pray that you’d steady her heart and fill her with faith that if she’s let go, she can trust that You’re readying her next position for her and she can be encouraged.
Kelly says
Susan, I’m lifting you up in prayer right now. You are held in the palm of God’s hand.
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
You are covered in prayer, around the country!
Beth Williams says
Susan,
Father God please give Susan peace & comfort no matter the outcome of her job situation. Help her to trust you completely. Guide & direct her steps to the job you want her to have. Take the fear away from her give her a sense of hope.
Blessings 🙂
Cheyla says
Oh Kaitlyn, thank you! I’m so glad you found comfort and hope through the past year. I continue to hope for the same, as the past several years have been soul crushing. Blessings to you!
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
Praying for you today, Cheyla!
Jenny says
BEAUTIFUL! The tidal waves keep crashing even though the year is coming to an end, the waves will continue to crash but the image I hold on to is the lighthouse in the midst of the storm and my God saying stay close. I am so ready to see the sun shine!!
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
Have you ever read Whose Waves Theses Are by Amanda Dykes? From your comment, I wonder if you might really like it… 🙂 A beautiful, hope-full story.
Janet W says
\0/ I’m soooo grateful. Each time I’m ready to just give up. I sit. I read. I call or text and always always what I need to hear, read, to see appears before me and reminds me…..
“We may not know when and we may not see how, but we can trust Who”
“God sees the other side, and He will see us through”
I’m soooo grateful. Thank you Kaitlyn xoxox
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
Your comment is a beautiful reminder that God’s timing is kind. Thank you for reminding us!
Donna says
Thank you so much for these encouraging words. I needed them!!!
JanJ says
Yes I am very much ready for a new year. I won’t list the many gut punches from the last 22 months. I will say that all along the way, when hope seemed lost, Hope was present in our circle of friends and family. We were ministered to in ways we didn’t know we needed. We are deeply grateful for these faithful and willing servants. God does see us through, trusting is difficult.
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
Yes… even when hope seemed lost. Amen.
Joyce Lavender says
Yes, Yes, Yes Lord! The storms of life are raging over all of us. But God throws us a Life Line to hold on, until are feet are re balanced, to stand up straight. Not that that the problems are solved, but we can get a clearer view of our steps.
Amen and Thank you God!
Karen Purkey says
Thank you Kaitlyn for sharing your heart and soul with us today. Your words and the scripture are a balm to my soul today. Blessings and peace to all of you today.
Indiane says
I, too, am ready for 2024. 2023 was a year of unsurpassed loss. My mother, after a year of care, and many of my friends mothers as well. Our beloved granddog, who was with us every day, and more loving dogs of family and friends than I can count. God is good – all the time, and it’s encouraging that He holds us up in the palm of His hand. He has blessed us abundantly, even in our losses, for if it matters to us, it matters to Him.
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
“If it matters to us, it matters to Him.” Yes and amen! Thank God.
Phyl says
Thank You, Kaitlyn, for this beautiful reflection. I am so happy that you were able to see how many lives you have touched through your writing. I’m sure you don’t do it for the adulation, but it should be so re-affirming for you to see that you sharing your thoughts on your life situation has encouraged so many others. There is always hope in the Lord. I love this line: “God sees the other side, and He will see us through”. May God continue to bless you with His healing, strength, hope, and encouragement to carry out your ministry in life – sharing your faith and trust in God.
Sandy says
Hi Kaitlyn,
Nice to hear from you again. My life has not been a tsunami this past year, but lately I feel satan is attacking me with his lies about who I am and my righteousness in God. I’ve found some great scriptures to help me cope: Matt. 11:28-30, Phil. 4:13, Isaiah 40:28-31, 41:10, 13, Nehemiah 8:10. Some are new but many I read numerous times, but need to revisit them in this season of life.
Praying for renewed strength in the coming weeks for you.
Blessings, peace and hope, Sandy
Beth Williams says
Kaitlyn,
Abba Father this year has been tough on many people. Please send hope, encouragement & your unending love to all who need it. Give your healing touch to those who are ill or in the hospital. Take away the aches & pains. Comfort those who have lost loved ones this year. send financial & spiritual blessings for those needing that assistance. Bless Loaves Fishes Food Bank in Elizabethton TN to continue serving our community. Make 2024 a better year for everyone! AMEN
Blessings 🙂
Tammy says
Thank you for these words – I am crying at this moment and need your prayers – I needed those words this morning to get through a challenging time physically, mentally and emotionally- my dog of 15 years is having problems and his time is closing to an end – I have been blessed with the time I’ve had with him – I just don’t want to have to let him go – I feel selfish because I know others are suffering more than me – but I still need prayers for strength through this storm – thank all who read this and are praying for my strength to get through this difficult time