For years, after Christmas had drawn to a close, I would sit by the glow of the tree, exhausted from yet another season of running too hard.
I was the queen of the Try-Hard Christmas.
I tried hard to make and keep family traditions.
I tried hard to bake, despite my ability to ruin even a boxed-brownie recipe.
I tried hard to host the best parties, and I tried hard not to hurt anyone’s feelings by leaving them off the list.
I tried hard to find the perfect gifts, and I tried hard to wrap them the perfect way.
But in the post-Christmas glow of the tree, I knew in my bones that I probably tried a little too hard. My best intentions to keep everyone happy, entertained, and well-fed left me wiped out, weary, and worse for wear.
I would vow not to allow myself to get so carried away the following year. But then, I’d forget. Maybe I was hypnotized by my Elf on the Shelf, because by November, I was back at it, in Try Hard mode, sometimes taking everything to the next level. (I annoy even myself.)
Until, one year, I tried a different method.
Instead of trying harder, I tried slower.
I didn’t want to get to the end of the year weary. I didn’t want Christmas to be a blur. That was the same year I had adopted the word “slow” as my Word of the Year. I had begun to adopt a slower-paced life – eating slower meals, taking slower walks, and generally living a slower-paced life.
This slower way of living happened out of necessity. I’d been experiencing stress-related health symptoms that worried me (and my doctor.) My new approach embraced the pace of grace – instead of a race. By the time Christmas came, the Habit of Slow had been well-established, and so, that was the Christmas I stopped hurrying.
That is the kind of Christmas I’m aiming for again this year — a quieter, slower Christmas, where the simple things are embraced.
If you’re a Try-Hard Christmas girl like me, I invite you to embrace a Try-Slow Christmas this year. It’s not too late!
As our motivation, let’s consider the first Christmas. Think of the slow, humble beginnings in which the Prince of Peace entered the world.
Now, I’m not suggesting that the scene was Hallmark-esque. There had to have been chaos. I mean, farm animals were present in the labor-and-delivery room. And yes, there was likely noise, and not just from the livestock. You’re probably familiar with the line in “Away in a Manger” that goes like this: “The little Lord Jesus no crying he makes.” I’m unconvinced. Ask any mom if this lines up with real-life experience with a newborn.
That first Christmas is proof that your holiday season can be both messy and sacred, noisy and serene, slightly uncivilized and delightfully slow.
Your house can be a boisterous, chaotic, evergreen-needles-in-the-carpet house at Christmas, while you still hold within you the peace of the season, just as Mary did. Picture her, sitting in a barn, as she “treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart” (Luke 2:19 ESV).
You, too, can have the kind of Christmas where you treasure up the best things in your heart.
The kind of Christmas where every person knows they are cherished.
Where peace and joy are contagious.
Where Jesus is the brightest light in the room.
Here are a few soul-keeping habits to try this Christmas, to bring peace amidst the hurry:
+ Spend time each morning from now through Christmas on a few verses from the birth story in Luke. Settle on key words or phrases that you may have never pondered before. Ask questions of the text that you’ve never asked before.
+ Take slow, daily walks in nature, with your eyes up and forward, to absorb God’s natural wonders where you live. Observe the changes that have come slowly around you — and in you.
+ Notice how your soul, like a tree, can be laid bare before God — and be utterly loved. Tell Him how you need His limitless love.
+ Let go of the pressure of making this Christmas special or memorable by recalling the most special, memorable Christmases of your past. Chances are, they had less to do with extravagance and more to do with connection.
+ Remember: you can’t hurry and connect at the same time. Dishes and messes can wait.
+ Light little fires and pretty candles. Sit in the glow.
Try-hard hurry doesn’t have to be your Christmas legacy. Instead, choose this Christmas to let it slow, let it slow, let it slow.
To embrace a slower life, all through the year, check out Jennifer’s book, Growing Slow: Lessons on Un-hurrying Your Heart from an Accidental Farm Girl.
Sharon says
I read Jennifer’s GROWING SLOW book a few years ago, & it has made a difference in my life! “Slow” was part of my phrase for the year immediately following. This next year the concept will emerge again as I contemplate “Margin”.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Good morning, Sharon! I love hearing that you’ve read Growing Slow, and that it made an impact on you. I, too, had “slow” as my word, in 2019 or 2020, I believe. 2020 was definitely a slowed-down year, wasn’t it? Oof. I love your word for this coming year: Margin. Merry Christmas!
Amada (pronounced: a.m.a.TH.a) says
God has shown me year after year how amazing He is, and that He will take care of Christmas…if we let Him. <3
Merry CHRISTmas, A
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Merry Christmas to you as well. We’re so glad you’re here at incourage, and we hope these words encouraged you!
Julie M. says
Thank you so much for this! I was just complaining to my husband last night how there was so much to do and so little time. I had already decided to not double the batch of the cookies I so love baking. That already made a difference as I enjoyed the process instead of wishing that the cookie dough in that bowl would decrease a lot faster! Now I need to take your advice and apply it to the rest of my Christmas preparations.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
I’m glad these words came at the right time for you. I understand what you’re feeling, and even though I have added some slow-down practices into my Christmas traditions, it’s easy to get caught back into rushing and preparing, and it’s likely because we are really interested in making Christmas special for those we love. I’ll bet that’s the case with you! May you feel God’s peace with you as you prepare to love on your family and friends, and may you also sense God’s LOVE for you. xox
Janet W says
I love…”Let slow, Let it slow, Let it slow”
Merry Christmas in-courage sisters \0/
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Yay! So glad you like that, Janet. As a slow-growth advocate, I often swap those words for Let it Snow. 🙂
Kathy F says
I loved this! And this is my aim also! To slow down and celebrate the true meaning of Christmas! So much of Jesus being the Reason for the Season has been obliterated by commercialism!
Blessings for a Merry CHRIST-Day!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Have a wonderful Christmas! Thanks for being a part of the (in)courage community!
Brenda M. Russell says
I really like taking it easy. Sometimes I feel a little guilty about it though. I don’t have the same energy and mobility in my knees and joints that I had ten years ago. This is a peaceful time for me. All my Girls have meaningful jobs. My youngest daughter has a different job since October 10th of this year and she seems to be smiling in her voice and text messages about work when she shares things with me.
As this year has come to a closure, we must remember the pros and cons of what has occurred this year.
My heart feels so much lighter and I can smile a lot easier than in quite a while. I’m Praying for my husband’s drink route to do really well as this next quarter is about to start.
I sure do thank You Lord for helping me bring all my bills current. I’m so grateful about no extra phone calls or asking for a payment plan, again.
I’m so pleased to take it easy every day because it’s my choice. God doesn’t choose our schedules, we do that ourselves. 2024 is knocking on my door, who will set my pace, I ask the Holy Spirit to remind me to listen to His prompts and cues from day to day. That means I have to give others what I want for myself. Grace and Mercy are just what we all need. Of course, Guidance and Wisdom from God is Top Priority.
Let’s be kind to one another and let’s make extra time to listen better to each other. We all grew up with different opinions and traditions. It can work if we share our values and our differences.
Merry Christmas !
Brenda
Twyla Franz says
“The pace of grace – instead of a race.” LOVE this line especially! Thank you for all you teach us about stilling our hearts even when our hands are busy.
Beth Williams says
Jennifer,
Loved this post! So often we want the perfect Hallmark-esque Christmas. All God wants for us is to enjoy His birthday. Celebrate the fact that your Savior was born to give you eternal life. Lysa Terkeurst said it best in her book Your Best yes “saying yes to everyone & everything won’t make you wonder woman. It will make you a worn out woman with nothing left to give,”
Loved the line ““The little Lord Jesus no crying he makes.”. He was a human baby. Think about Silent Night. It surely wasn’t silent with all the animals making noises & baby Jesus crying. We need to slow down our Christmas to ponder these things like Mary did.
Blessings 🙂