We took our first trip to the lake this summer. The Oklahoma sun was showing no mercy, so getting in the water was the only way to survive the heat. But I am not into water sports or activities, and neither is my husband. We stood with the water up to our waists and watched my brother and sister-in-law take our kids out on canoes and paddle boards. They were having so much fun, jumping off the paddle board into the water over and over again. My brother looked over at us and said, “Look at Moriah, she is fearless!” I smiled because Moriah, my ten-year-old, was in fact fearless in the water. I saw her confidently jump into the middle of the lake, swim, and climb back onto the paddle board. She was doing things that I was afraid to do.
When I was about her age, I was invited to my first pool party. I arrived late and everyone was already in the pool. I had never been in a pool before because I was raised in India. I didn’t want to embarrass myself by asking anyone to help, so I sat down near the pool and watched my friends. They began to wave and invite me to join them in the water. I slowly scooted my bottom to the edge of the pool and jumped in. I quickly realized I was in the deep end. My feet couldn’t touch the ground and I couldn’t get my head above water to breathe.
I panicked and tried to move towards the legs I could see underwater in front of me, but no matter how much effort I used, it was as if I was stuck. I thought surely they would feel the movement in the water with me kicking, but nobody was moving towards me either. Finally, somehow I came up out of the water. As I looked around, I realized no one even knew that I was drowning . . . they were all laughing and having fun. What seemed to me like an eternity of agony was simply seconds — seconds in which I could have died and no one would have noticed.
This moment, this memory, kept me in fear of ever getting into any pool, lake, or ocean. I had no interest in learning to swim or do any water sports.
For me, part of facing my fear was to make sure that I didn’t allow that fear to walk into my future. I wasn’t going to let my fear keep my daughter captive. I enrolled my kids in swim class and took them to the lake. I made sure my daughter felt safe and enjoyed the water, even if it wasn’t with me.
That day at the lake, watching my little girl fearlessly accomplish things that evoked fear in me as a little girl, was liberating.
But it takes so much courage to let your child go with someone else to do something you are afraid to do. It reminds me of the story of Moses’ mom, Jochebed, who was a slave and lived in fear of the Egyptians. Life for a Hebrew mother like Jochebed was especially terrifying after Pharaoh commanded all his people, “Every son that is born to the Hebrews you shall cast into the Nile, but you shall let every daughter live” (Exodus 1:22 ESV).
Jochebed knew that she wasn’t going to let the fear that kept her a slave, also be her son’s demise. So she took her three-month-old precious baby boy, put him in a basket, and watched as he floated away in the river. If you know this story, you know that Pharaoh’s own daughter found the baby and took him as her own.
Though her infant was initially returned to her nurse, the boy was eventually given to Pharaoh’s daughter and Jochebed had to watch from a distance as another woman named and raised her son. I imagine part of her deeply grieved what was taken away from her, but I think she was also so grateful that her son was the first in their family to experience a life of freedom from slavery, because of her courage. Moses would then go on to liberate all the children of Israel from slavery.
Jochebed brought freedom not just to her son, but her entire people group because she wouldn’t let fear walk into her future.
For me, watching my daughter fearlessly navigate the lake was breaking a generational curse. It’s over now, fear has lost its power.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”
Proverbs 31:25 NLT
Whatever fear has taken away from you, it doesn’t have to dictate your future. Take a small step of courage and speak these words over yourself today: “Fear is not my future!”
Ruth Mills says
Oh Simi, these are the exact words I need to pray over my husband as he is under stress from more than one front. Thank you for this well timed word of encouragement! Blessings (((0)))
Simi John says
I am glad these words ministered to you right where you are!
Laurie says
Simi, I too have a fear of deep water. My toddler granddaughter is enrolled in swim lessons and inspired me to try too. I’ve improved but still can’t go in the deep end. I hope you can find a good instructor and learn a few strokes. God bless.
Simi John says
You are so brave…and yes you are right…I need to learn!
Jo says
Simi ~ your writing speaks right to my heart. I am 69 years old; when I was 4, an older boy held me upside down in the water. Seconds felt like death. All my life I’ve been afraid of water, but thankfully that fear was never relayed to my kids, and now I have several grandkids on swim teams. Thank you for the reminder that God lifts the weights from generation to generation, and breaks those chains of fear!
His best blessings on you!
Simi says
That is so traumatic and I am so glad those chains of fear ended with you! How freeing it is know that generations after you are loving the water!
Madelyn says
I loved the message today.. fear is not my future.
Thank you for your story!
Simi says
Amen!! Thank you Jesus!
grace.ggintl@gmail.com says
Simi, thank you for sharing your experience. I too was very afraid of water as a child and young woman. But many years later I had a pool of my own at our country home. I was determined to overcome this fear, so at the shallow end I took one step at a time until I got to the deep end and began diving under the water and swimming until the fear was gone. Anything we have fear of in life can be faced one step at a time with God’s help. God bless you all.
Simi John says
Amen!! I believe it. He gives us strength to overcome the things that try to hold us captive.
Donna says
Simi, thank you for sharing your experience. I too was very afraid of water as a child and young woman. But many years later I had a pool of my own at our country home. I was determined to overcome this fear, so at the shallow end I took one step at a time until I got to the deep end and began diving under the water and swimming until the fear was gone. Anything we have fear of in life can be faced one step at a time with God’s help. God bless you all.
Simi John says
Amen! We don’t repeat history, we renew it! In Jesus name
Janet W says
Thank you Simi \0/
I will repeat and step. Repeat and do. Repeat and trust. Repeat and speak…
“Take a small step of courage and speak these words over yourself today: “Fear is not my future!””
Simi John says
Me too friend! Me too!
Brenda says
Hi Simi, Thank you for sharing! I, too, am afraid of going in deep water (putting my head under water). But I made sure all of our children had swimming lessons and they love to swim and so do their children! I’m grateful for that.
Simi John says
I am proud of us…because we made the decision to not let fear determine our future generations.
Beth Williams says
Simi,
My fears revolve around heights, enclosed spaces-elevators, & public speaking. Slowly but surely God is helping me with public speaking. Years ago I was asked to do sign language to music at my old church. Mind you I know a few signs for Christian music, but am not a sign language expert. The first few times I was sweating bullets. After many times up there I grew more confident. Now I’m attending a different church. I bravely told the music director that I can do sign language to music if she needed special music. Next Sunday (10/8) I will be doing “I can only imagine” once again. It’s my way of enhancing worship. All it took was one small step & a leap of faith in God to calm my nerves. Fear is not my future.
Blessings 🙂