It was two days before Thanksgiving when my life fell apart. The day started like any other, with the mad dash of getting kids ready for school and adults ready for work. In the middle of the chaos, just as I was about to head to the grocery store to buy everything we needed for Thanksgiving dinner, the phone rang. Within seconds, the doctor on the other end of the line told me the news I never thought I’d hear:
Michele, you have cancer.
Thanksgiving has long been my favorite holiday, ever since I was a young girl helping my mother roast turkeys and bake homemade pies for our family and friends. I love the preparation, the gathering of loved ones, and the absence of commercialism (did I mention the pies?). While Christmas seems to be the pinnacle of most people’s calendar year, Thanksgiving has always been the highlight of mine.
Until cancer decided to show up and put a serious damper on things. As it turns out, pie can’t cure everything.
It’s been twelve years since that Thanksgiving. By some small miracle, it is still my favorite holiday, even though cancer came back a second and third time in subsequent years, again during the Thanksgiving holiday. Maybe that’s precisely why it is still my favorite holiday. As a result of my suffering, I’ve learned a few things about the practice of Thanksgiving, including both what it is and what it isn’t.
When it comes to an attitude of thankfulness, the Bible verse often quoted around the holiday is 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV): “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Thanksgiving is certainly a good way to approach life, regardless of circumstances. However, too often this passage is misunderstood and misapplied. We think we must give thanks for all circumstances. How exactly are we supposed to give thanks for the death of a loved one? Or for a terminal diagnosis? How do we rejoice in an abuse of power or the trafficking of children? To be thankful for these circumstances feels not only impossible but callous and inhumane.
I have good news for you: We’re not commanded to give thanks for all circumstances but in all circumstances. And there’s a huge difference between the two. So what can we be thankful for in the middle of circumstances that are breaking our hearts? Here are a few reasons I discovered for thanksgiving, even while spending the holiday in a hospital ICU bed:
- No circumstance, no matter how horrific, will ever separate me from God’s love for me. (Romans 8:35-39)
- Even though I may feel alone, God will never leave me nor forsake me. (Deut. 31:6, Hebrews 13:5b, Matthew 28:20)
- God sees my suffering and He carries it with me. (Genesis 16:13, Matthew 11:28-30, Mark 6:34)
- Even as He weeps with me, He will ensure my suffering is not wasted. (Romans 8:28)
- And one day He will make sure I never weep again. Only joy! (Revelation 21:4)
Thanksgiving in seasons of abundance comes cheap. It’s still important, still a worthy expression of gratitude for what we’ve been given. But Thanksgiving when we have little to celebrate comes at a cost. But the payout is trust and peace.
“The Lord will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden,
her wastelands like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.”
Isaiah 51:3 (NIV)
The ruins are real and mustn’t be ignored. We are not called to dance on graves as if the life we mourn wasn’t actually lost. Instead, we see the God who meets us at our graves and looks with compassion on all our ruins. When we see the love in His eyes and remember His promise to bring gardens from graves, we find a different kind of Thanksgiving, one not tied to our circumstances but wrapped up in a Savior for whom we can sing even while we weep.
Nelda says
My thoughts go to Renee and Yvonne ( my sister), who recently lost their husband and son to stomach cancer. May they find solace in His Word.
Michele Cushatt says
Oh, Nelda. Such a huge loss, even more painful during the holidays. Thank you for sharing with us so we can pray, too.
Beth Williams says
Nelda,
Sweet sweet sister-prayers for your niece & sister as they mourn. May God send His love & peace to their weary souls. Asking God to comfort them during this time. Praying for you all!
Blessings 🙂
Ruth Mills says
Amen, Michele!
Gail says
Thank you, Michelle! Our family is doing our first Thanksgiving without 2 significant family members. But we have much to be thankful for in our relationships with the Lord and with each other, and the legacy they gave us.
Michele Cushatt says
Those “firsts” aren’t easy, Gail. It’s a bittersweet mix, missing their presence and yet grateful for the time shared. Heart is with you as you choose Thanksgiving this year.
Cheyla says
Michele, I hope all is well with your health now! Thank you so much for this timely reminder, blessings!
Michele Cushatt says
Yes, all is well! 7 years cancer free so far. Thank you for your kindness, Cheyla. Happy Thanksgiving!
Madeline says
Giving thanks while in the midst of pain and heartache is so hard. I was especially drawn to the statement not to give thanks for all circumstances but in all circumstances.
Michele Cushatt says
You’re so right, Madeline. Not easy or cheap. With you, sister.
Amy says
Reminds be a song I LOVE from Lydia Laird – Hallelujah Even Here:
Right now I feel a little overwhelmed
Right now I could really use some help
Right now I don’t feel like it is well with my soul
I’ve tried to find a way around the mess
I’ve prayed in faith that the night would end
Right here when I just can’t understand
I’ll lift my hands
Hallelujah, when the storm is relentless
Hallelujah, when the battle is endless
In the middle of the in between
In the middle of the questioning
Over every worry, every fear
Hallelujah, even here
Hallelujah, even here
Michele Cushatt says
Beautiful, beautiful lyrics, Amy. Thank you for sharing with all of us!
Irene says
This is lovely, Michele! Happy Thanksgiving!
Thank you Chatee says
Be ttankful for the life you have lived, leave the sadness behind and thank God for everything he has done for you, leave the sadness behind thank you Father God.
ELMorehead says
Wise Words of Wisdom. There truly is a difference between Rejoicing “for” (versus) “in” All Circumstances!
molly says
Your devotion touched me deeply. This is the most moving Thanksgiving article I have read in years. Thank you for your precious words, the sharing of your personal journey and encouragement in the Lord – not for our circumstances but in all circumstances. May God bless you richly on this celebration of gratitude.
Beth Williams says
Michele,
Each & every day we can find something to be thankful for. Today (Thanksgiving 2022) I went to work in ICU as clerical. There are patients & families who need a pick me up. A simple smile, “I’m praying for you”, “Happy Thanksgiving.” It may cheer them up to know that others care enough to give up their day to be there for them & help out any way I can. Plus it takes the focus off me & any problems I have. Come to realize how blessed I am.
Blessings 🙂