I sit quietly in the chair as hair falls to the ground. She works quickly and with each snip of the scissors, another question comes my way: Remind me what you do for work? Are you dating anyone? Did you want layers today?
I stare at my reflection in the mirror as I answer each one, ask a few of my own in response, and then hold my breath wondering if she’ll ask about the scar suddenly on full display.
You’d never know it unless I were to pull my hair into a ponytail, unless I put it into a bun, unless you stood behind me at a hair appointment — and then there’s simply no missing the bare skin where hair no longer grows.
I’m permanently marked. There’s a four-inch scar on the back of my head, and the truth is, I don’t think about it very much anymore. I have to use two mirrors to see it, and the pain of nerves coming back together, throbbing headaches, and dizziness have lessened over the years.
It’s been years since brain surgery and at this point, the scar is simply part of me. But every time I sit in a hairdresser’s chair, I wonder if she’ll ask something, say something, or carry on as if it doesn’t exist.
Here’s what I know, over a decade later:
1. We can’t always see the scars that mark a person. We all — each and every one of us — have been bruised or cut in one way or another. We all have tender places that are still being healed, and we would do well to be gentle with one another.
2. Scars are signs of survival, a mark of a cutting open that didn’t end in brokenness but in healing. In mending. In life. In the turning of a page, a story that wasn’t yet over.
Maybe, somehow, scars are actually miracles written on skin.
After His resurrection, after the piercing and the crushing, after death gave way to glorious life, Jesus appeared to the disciples. I don’t know about you, but when I imagine a perfected body, I don’t picture scars, wounds, or bruises. But Scripture doesn’t say Jesus showed up with perfect skin and perfect hair and a perfect smile. No, Scripture says that in response to their fear and doubt, Jesus shows them His . . . wounds.
“Why are you frightened?” he asked. “Why are your hearts filled with doubt? Look at my hands. Look at my feet. You can see that it’s really me. Touch me and make sure that I am not a ghost, because ghosts don’t have bodies, as you see that I do.” As he spoke, he showed them his hands and his feet.
Luke 24:38-40 (NLT)
We don’t know exactly what Jesus’s resurrected body looks like, but Scripture is clear on this: Jesus still has scars. It’s His wounds that show it’s truly Him, His scars that the disciple Thomas wanted to see (John 20:19-29).
I wonder if one day we’ll lean in close to see for ourselves, only to find His still-scarred hands reaching out for us.
I wonder if we’ll look for a wound and discover the scar is in the shape of our very own name, inscribed forever on His palm (Isaiah 49:16).
(I wonder if I’ll cry at the sight, and chances are good since I’m crying now just writing this sentence.)
Perhaps it’s worth saying again: Scars are signs of survival, a mark of a cutting open that didn’t end in brokenness but in healing.
Your scars show what you’ve been through, yes, but they also show that you made it through. You’re still here.
If Jesus didn’t leave His scars behind, if He chose to keep them for the rest of all time, maybe we can choose to see our own as something beautiful instead of something to wish away. I’m talking about the ones we bare on our bodies and the ones that can’t be seen on our skin.
I’m not advocating that we all walk around showing everything to everyone or sharing every part of our story with complete strangers. But maybe we could simply say “thank You” next time we look in the mirror. Maybe next time something that bruised us deeply is bumped by words or actions or the date on the calendar, we could bring our hurt to the One who truly understands. Maybe we could begin by asking the Healer to help us see our scars through His eyes.
I wonder if they look like beauty marks.
Yes! Yes! YES! Such beautiful words of encouragement Kaitlyn! Blessings (((0)))
Yes! This reminds me of broken pieces making a masterpiece…
Amen
What a powerful, beautifully written piece. Thank you for this!
Aaw Kaitlyn, this definitely brought a tear to my eye – It’s so beautiful how you have reframed how we can think of scars – I had surgery in December for a totally out of the blue cancerous sore in my mouth, and as a result had a few lymph nodes in my neck removed, so my fresh new scar across my neck is still healing.
Thank you for making me see that this scar is actually just a miracle in writing on my skin (cancer free post-surgery praise God)
This is absolutely beautiful. Thank you.
Kaitlyn,
What a wonderful way to see scars. Might also be a good way to see wrinkles.
Sending you warm joy,
Lisa Wilt
I guess emojis don’t show up.
to your comment.
Last try! Big Grin to your comment.
Amen and Amen – Thank you
Beautiful piece of writing…and as always from the depths of your heart. Will be forwarding this onto some special friends.
Blessings…
Thank you for this! I really needed it! I’m suffering from chronic Lyme disease.
BEAUTIFUL
Thank you Kaitlyn
Dear Kaitlyn…..I have many scars from so many operations I had early in my life and they are not nice and in clothes, you cannot see them; however, there is such a thing of emotional scars that do not appear to others, but to me they are severe. When my husband of 54 years, I noticed his mind waning and I knew what that could be. His grandfather, Uncle Joe and many of his relatives that came over from Italy oh so many years ago, died from the same thing, but Dementia had not even been diagnosed at that time. I drug him to a neurologist and it was confirmed that he had it, but it was early on. The doctor told him he HAD to stop drinking (and he was a heavy drinker) and take the 2 medications that so early on could stop the progress of the disease. He refused and said there was nothing wrong with him. My son would not support me and dismissed me as his mother. I had no other family so I stayed with my husband for 3+ years begging him to follow doctor’s orders. He refused and was drinking even more than before. For those 3+ years, he abused me physically, mentally and emotionally. I never knew what was coming and no cell phoned back then, so I tried to hide the landline on the couch with me to call 911, but when I went to call, he ripped the phone from my hand and stuck me and called me so many names that I could not write here, I just sat and cried. Why is he doing this? I am researching the disease and had support groups that called me every day to make sure I was all right. Finally, he tried to kill me one night, but this time I got the 911 call through but he did not realize it. I am sure that the Lord made sure I got this call through. The 911 dispatcher was recording the whole thing and sent the police in less than 5 minutes. The story goes on but it is too long. His doctor said I had to get him out of the house for my own safety so as much as I did not want to do that, I knew I had too. It is just your words today Kaitlyn that so many times people forget there are very serious emotional scars. Where I am living they have a program on Saturday’s about praying and caring for others, but not one time even though I asked questions did she ever mention or address these very awful emotional scars. It is still going on after going into 7 years now. I went to see my now Ex-husband to see for myself. He never even recognized me even when I told him my full name. He did not connect the fact that my last name was the same as mine. He said he did not know anyone by that name and told me to go. This was very sad for me, but at least I saw that I did the right thing. His dementia has progressed significantly and it is too late to take the meds. You had to do that in the very beginning. No one will communicate with me now for 6 years. They have blocked me every way from contacting me except US Mail and those they just don’t even read, but just destroy. My grandson has gotten none of the multitude of cards I have sent to him. I used to send him money or a check, but my son and his wife just ripped up anything I mailed to him. They have also told him many things that I supposedly did so to alienate him from me too, but he not only take my grandson away from me, he also took my grandson’s Gram away from him. What will he do when he finds out the truth which will most likely be after I die. If any of you feel inclined, please pray for me. At 78 years old, this has broken my heart in so many pieces even though I pray to Jesus many times a day. Thank you all and please if you are in this arctic cold and 18 inches of snow like we are, be careful. I had a bad fall 2 days ago and am still trying to recover. My love to all of you and (in)courage………….Betsy Basile
Kaitlyn love your devotional today that you wrote. All you said so true. We can get hurt by people in all sorts of ways. Even family and friends that what they did hurt so much we wonder if we can forgive them. But we have to as followers of Jesus forgive them if we are to heal or what they did will never go away. We will near heal when winds will keep biting us. Satan then will use it to annoy us and see the person who hurt us in a non Christian way. Even have hate for them. That is not what God would want us to do. God would want us to forgive them and pray they see the error of what they did saved or not saved. Then they say sorry or if they don’t at least you have forgiven them as it right thing to do in God’s eyes. God will bless you for having forgiven them. Even if you can’t tell them you have because they not listen to you saved or not saved especially if not saved. But you have to keep praying for them that they will see the wrong they did. Even if not ever going to say sorry or admit it was there fault and they shouldn’t have done or said what they did. As it says Colossians 3:13 it says “bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another even as Christ forgave you so must do” If you don’t it will eat away at you like a tooth ache all your life and especially when you see the person even if they don’t think they did anything wrong. Or the think they are right and it you that is in the wrong when you know it was there fault. They could have hurt you with what they said or did. The tooth ache pain will not go away until you get it treated by a Dentist. It same with the person that hurt you by their words or something they did to you. So you have go to Jesus in prayer and tell him you forgive them even if they don’t want to know you have forgiven them. Ask Jesus to help you see them in his light and love them no matter what they did to you. Anytime you see with Christ help you will see them in a different light and throw the eyes of Jesus. What they did will not annoy you or get to or get you all wound up every time you see them. Making you cross that your anger could come out on them if able to talk to them and tell them they hurt you and they never said sorry. Your only making yourself worse and ill. They are having the laugh to see you cross. You have to remember you might never get your sorry. I was like that with a family member. Only I did the right thing as it says in the word of God forgive them. I had chance to tell them and if I not forgave them I not be doing their house for them. I told them I am it for the love of the Lord and the love of them. They just laughed. I can do it for them and it doesn’t annoy me like it did at one time. I know I probably never get a sorry from them and never forget why they hurt me. But I know I did what God wanted me to do and forgave them. I feel so much better. I now see them in the way Jesus would want me too. Love them the way he wants me to and pray for them and their Salvation. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland xx
Kaitlyn- this line really struck me:
“I wonder if we’ll look for a wound and discover the scar is in the shape of our very own name, inscribed forever on His palm (Isaiah 49:16).”
Wow! So good!
(In)courage staff – could you update all of us on what the future holds for these devotionals since the sale and staff changes? I’m hoping they don’t go away. They are a blessing each morning.
Thank you.
Lynne……..I would like to know the answer to that question as well. These devotions keep me grounded in a very dark season I am in right now. Thanks for asking that question, Lynne……………….Betsy Basile
Betsy – another site that I think you would find helpful is Proverbs31.org. They also have daily Encouragement for Today emails, a First5 study app and much more. I read those as well as (in)courage each morning.
I think of and pray for you often!
Lynne
Dear Lynne…Thank you so much for the other site you recommended. I looked at it yesterday and I didn’t have much time, but I am going back there this afternoon and read more. You are so kind to take the time to give me another place to go. I hope you have a good week and I will reply to you the next time I see your name to tell you what I thought. I don’t know what region you live in, but we are struggling with 18 inches of snow and Arctic cold going into the 2nd week now. Highs are in the teens.
Again, I appreciate your advice…………………Betsy Basile
Beautiful. I believe when Jesus pours Himself into us – the broken places and scars receive glory. Scars and Kintsugi: (Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with powdered gold or silver….) Thank you for the return to this truth – He sees only glory. Amen! If I could give every broken woman the chance to hold broken pottery and paint the edges with gold and remember His wounds, His hands, His feet….O what a beautiful Savior we have!
Jesus is holding out His hands to heal right now through this writing. I work with survivors of trafficking and was a survivor myself. Every place of scarring externally and internally, He desires to touch and transform.
What a POWERFUL, well written devotional! Though it was originally written in 2021, it is a timeless piece! I’m already thinking of someone to share it with.
Kaitlyn, thank you for this powerful word. What if the scars are our miracles! wow. This really touched my heart. Thank you for sharing.
I know this is from a few years ago, but wanted to let you know I am still praying for you, and that I understand about the scars at the hairdresser. I have two scars on my head from surgeries (one 16 years ago, one 3) and often wonder what hairdressers think. I have only had one person comment or ask about it. God has blessed me with few side effects from the tumors or surgeries, but am so sorry to hear it sounds like that wasn’t so in your life. I hope you have relief from physical effects soon, and continued peace knowing God is with you through it all. If you ever want to talk, I’m happy to listen 😉
God bless.
I can look at.scars with god s grace in place ! I don t have to carry stains of shame in jesus name