I love to prepare for Christmas. With four kids and their loved ones staying at our home for multiple days, with all the event planning, menu making, gift buying, card sending, and present wrapping, Christmas isn’t just an ordinary game. It’s my Super Bowl.
But for the first year in the several decades that I have hosted Christmas, all of that has to go out the undecorated window. About six months ago, I came down with long COVID — and everything in our lives changed. For some reason, in the back of my mind, I thought I’d get a pass for Christmas celebrations. But my body said no — that has to go into the bucket of everything else you can’t do like you’ve always done.
So this year, capacity is lower. But Christmas isn’t canceled; it’s clarified.
It’s amazing how I’ve let holiday traditions and expectations start out innocently enough. “That looks fun!” or “But we’ve always done it that way!” I walked down the path of other people’s perfection and let those prickly burrs hitch a ride on me, and I can’t seem to brush them off.
As I wallow in my own despair of things not being the way I dreamed, I need to keep reminding myself that the first Christmas wasn’t hosted. It was announced and received.
And this year, we will do the same. We’re trading performance for presence.
Luke 2:10–11 (NIV) says, “But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.’”
The angel announced the presence of God, and that is what we are going to celebrate — the nonnegotiable aspects of Christmas:
- Faith: Big corporations do everything they can to pull our hearts away from Christ and center them on buying our way into relationships with those around us. It takes a huge amount of focus to concentrate on Jesus in this season as the reason to celebrate. The way we can do that is to focus on how Jesus behaved, and then follow His model. Giving to those in need, feeding the poor. Yes, going to church and worshiping is part of it, but in this season of pressure and performance, we honor Him by choosing presence over presents — quiet service, shared tables, simple worship.
- Joy: When life is at its most difficult, joy is an act of resistance. We not only find the small things that bring us joy, but we also do the small things that will invite joy into someone else’s life as well.
- People: In this season of cart filling and calendar cramming, we keep it holy by doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly — one simple act at a time. One person at a time.
So what does that look like in practical ways?
- Faith: Focus on one simple practice. It might look different for you than for us. My family will center our worship on Scripture reading and a short prayer. Others may concentrate on sponsoring a meal or serving at an event for the community. Whatever way faith plays out in your Christmas season, gratitude for the coming of our Savior, rather than society’s expectations, should drive your worship.
- Joy: Plan one moment that sparks delight. Our favorite is a drive to see Christmas lights. We start off with In-N-Out Burger, then follow the map we’ve created for the best lights in town. For the grand finish, we’ll end with hot chocolate from a local coffee shop. We’ve been doing this basic routine for twenty years, and it’s the highlight of our season. We also make a couple of our family’s favorite desserts to keep the joy in our celebration. (Cranberry-white chocolate-macadamia nut cookies, anyone?) Others may want to plan Christmas caroling around their neighborhoods, see a live show, or snuggle up at home with a favorite Christmas movie and a bucket of popcorn. (Add red and green M&M’s to make it festive!)
- People: Loving your people often looks like time spent together, even doing simple activities. Our family will play board games and talk and watch old reruns of Whose Line Is It Anyway? (always guaranteed to make the whole family laugh). There will also be plenty of rest so that we are all our best selves during our time together. Others may work on jigsaw puzzles, crafts, or have epic snowball fights. If you have little ones in your family, playing with newly unwrapped toys is also a big hit. Whether you’re with family or with friends who are like family, you’ll want to make wonderful memories by spending quality time with them.
A Blessing for a Simple Time
May the God who announced joy over a quiet field announce it over your quiet home. May what’s small be sacred, what’s simple be sufficient, and what’s present be more than enough.
If you’d like extra support this holiday season, get our free workshop and workbook, “Your Least Cluttered Christmas Ever.” You can watch the workshop and download the free workbook at kathi.link/holiday.
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Oh, Kathi, your words are so encouraging! I’m sorry you are battling long Covid yet the rich truths you are learning & sharing are victories in that fight! I’m printing your article so I can highlight it for future references. I have a sneaking feeling it will be highlighted numerous times ! May the God of all creation give you healing in your body as He has already done in your soul. Blessings (((0)))
Kathi, I so enjoy your posts! My best wishes for your recovery from long covid. You make it sound like the illness has been a blessing for you in a roundabout way, and it has inspired me to look at my challenges as such. Thank you so much, and God bless you, your family and the entire (in)courage family!
I love “clarified”. IThis is especially valuable in a season that includes grief and loss. It leads us to focus and then embrace. Thank you.
Thank you Kathi for the small things that are soo important this time of the year! Merry Christmas
Feel better \0/
Kathi, I love this. I have also had to pare down traditional Christmas a little more each year over the last several years due to illness and recovery, and just plain aging. I have found that it’s ok. Our holidays are simpler but still good, as long as I keep my focus on what really matters — Faith, family and friends. With a few bits of sparkle, lights to warm the cold, and the most special foods. It’s all good.
Praying for your recovery.
Dear Kathi……I was very moved as I read your story in today’s devotion. I also am a woman with long Covid. It has mostly affected my hands, my feet and my knees. I pray that you will feel better if that is even possible. My doctor told me that since I have had it now for 4 years, it will probably stay with me. I know how you feel and I am 78 years old. I live in a Senior Living Facility with 100 residents. It is very difficult for me on holidays as my now ex-husband has dementia and the last time I was able to see him, he did not even recognize me after 56 years of marriage. My 1 child, a 55 year old son has some years back called and dismissed me as his mother and he and his wife will never again let me see or even talk to my now 15 year old grandson. They have made up all these stories and told my grandson that I chased his POP out of our house for no reason, but both my husband and son say there is nothing wrong with him, yet he hardly ever goes to see him and they have made it funny when they see him that he is so forgetful. It is NOT funny. It is sad. I had no choice with what I did as my safety was at risk. He drank way too much and abused me for 3+ years until that one night when he tried to kill me and I had to call the police. So sorry, but I had to give you some back story. At my age, all my beloved relatives are gone and are with God in Heaven. Honestly, Kathi, when I think about it, I am glad they are not here to see what I am going through. My son sends me emails that are not only not true, but are down right nasty and evil things he calls me. I read the (in)courage devotions every day and they have helped me try and push through my situation. Of course, Jesus and my Holy Spirit are with me. After I got through Thanksgiving, I was thinking one day. I can’t decorate due to the long haul covid. My used to be family will be celebrating without me and are glad that I am alone. The next day I was facing December 1st and didn’t know how I was going to do this. It was then when we celebrated the First Sunday of Advent at church, I think it was my Holy Spirit that whispered in my ear, Betsy, think a little more about this and you will know what to do.” Later that day, it finally hit me and it was something that I knew, but with the world being what it is today, I lost sight of it. As you said, Christmas is not about presents, but it is about Presence. We should be celebrating the Birth of Jesus and how much this means to us. I have purchased a few presents, but I can’t even send the one for my grandson as my son intercepts it and it never gets to his son. This is another heartbreaking part of this whole mess. So what if I have to be in my apartment alone on Christmas Day. I will use the day to tell God how grateful I am for everything He has given us or done for us and that will make me smile. Your words about the announcement the angels made that day that day” A Savior has been born to you. He is the Messiah, the Lord.” That is all I need to remember that day. Thank you Kathi, and I will say a prayer for you about our covid. I wish you and your family a Blessed Advent and Christmas Season. My love to you and all of the Women from the (in) courage community and everyone who reads and comments. That is what I send to all of you……………Betsy Basile
Sometimes moving to a different area causes you to find ways to make Christmas special in a new way. When I lived in a metropolitan area the play “A Christmas Carol” was a tradition. But now I live in the rural mountains. Ballet, theatre, etc. Requires an overnight stay mostly impossible in the Christmas season. So we watch the movie or best yet read the book which is well written.
This is the second Christmas in the past several years where I am less excited about it due to changes in family dynamics, changes in my physical limitations (need to buy a shorter tree next year) and other stuff. Stuff that is important but definitely not critical. The thoughts you expressed in your essay mirror how I feel, think and what others have expressed in their similar writings this season. I am 74 years old and ready to clarify as you put it, so my husband and I can better enjoy being with each other and our adult children with their significant others.
Thank you for your essay.
Married 57 years a Christian for 63 and this past June moved Vancouver to Nova Scotia. Wasn’t our plan but God had us move in 3 weeks notice. So much has gone wrong including I had a heart attack age 76 just after we moved into our problem new to us house here. Hubby 78.. and this year I just can not pull out the decorations ..it was always my thing ..every room decorated, people I met on street invited for Christmas Eve and dinner .. presents like Martha Stewart decorated.. cards were out for Dec. 1st…BUT my joy and energy not in it .. I finally pulled out our Nativity set and put it up yesterday and this year that’s all I need as you say along with ..His Presence -The Peace of Christ.
Wise men seek Him.. not all the fluff. Wishing you the best Christmas ever !