I was scheduled to serve on our church’s Connect Team, a group whose goal is to make everyone feel welcome from the moment they pull into our parking lot. It’s a ministry role I relish; having searched for a new church home multiple times, I remember what it feels like when you’re visiting (awkward!). You can tell a lot about a church just by the way you’re greeted.
But that morning my emotions were all knotted up, and I hoped I wouldn’t fall apart with a complete stranger. I’m carrying a lot of heartache and uncertainty in this season, and while I stand on a firm foundation, the surface is awfully wobbly. Sometimes I’m fine, and other times not so much. When people ask something as simple as, “How’re you doing?” my emotions are unpredictable.
Serving that morning turned out to be a gift. I could focus on others rather than think about the circumstances that are making life hard right now. Then the church service started.
I probably should confess I’m in a valley and wandering (again). I suppose, naïvely, I thought since I slogged through an exhausting spiritual desert years ago, I wouldn’t encounter another one. But what I learned back then is surely making a difference now:
God’s faithfulness in spite of my past unbelief gives me confidence in His faithfulness now.
That morning I didn’t bring much of a “heart of worship” but at least I showed up. And God can move in our hearts, even if all we can manage is just showing up.
The service started with a song that perfectly expressed my desperation and need, like God had selected it Himself, just for me. The refrain, an honest prayer –
O God, my God, I need You // O God, my God, I need You now //
How I need You now // O Rock, O Rock of ages //
I’m standing on Your faithfulness
The song draws on the experiences of people we’ve met in Scripture, what God did in their lives, and how He does the same for us now. I don’t know if the lyrics were inspired by Hebrews 13:8, but it’s the verse that came to mind as I listened: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”
This song, Same God by Elevation Worship, has been out for almost a year. Yet that Sunday was the first time I heard it. The way it spoke to me personally and intimately, I don’t believe it was a coincidence; I believe God’s perfect timing is evidence of His goodness and generosity.
God’s gifts are magnificent, aren’t they?
When the sermon started, God continued speaking to me. We’re studying the life of Joseph, and looking at Genesis 37, our pastor reminded us of Joseph’s dream of ruling and how his brothers would bow down to him. He posed the question, “How do you go from being a spoiled brat tattling on your brothers to a ruler?” Genesis 39 sheds light on how, as a slave and then prisoner, Joseph learned to lead others. On the surface, being sold into slavery and later being falsely accused and sent to prison looks like a huge mistake. But God used all of this to transform Joseph over time into the person God called him to be.
And, then – like in a movie – it was as if everyone else in the church faded. The pastor looked straight at me and asked, “What if you saw the terrible circumstances in your life as circumstances God was using to shape you into the person you were meant to be? What if these circumstances, over time, were exactly what you needed – not easy, not without pain – but what you ultimately needed?”
The question lingered as he continued his sermon.
After church, I had plans to join someone I love for an early dinner, and I anticipated some deep and difficult conversations. I had a long drive, so there was plenty of time to pray and ponder the message I had just heard. As I had hoped, our time together was precious and productive, and as expected, at times also painful. It was an evening stitched together with laughter and tears, real and raw and rare. As we hugged goodbye, it started to rain.
Night driving on the interstate in the rain is not my favorite. Neither are cars whizzing by at 90 mph. To help soothe my nerves frayed by circumstances and now driving too fast in dicey weather, I played Same God on repeat. When the rain tapered off about 40 minutes into my drive home, I thanked God and continued my little one-song concert.
It was right about then that I rounded a bend and the rain and trees that had obscured my view disappeared. I literally gasped. Hanging low in the sky and almost touching the road was the most beautiful full moon I’ve ever seen, big and bright . . . and orange?? It was a special kind of supermoon, a Strawberry Moon, which appears almost a third larger and 17% brighter than usual.
I dang near had a wreck, it was so beautiful.
I was overwhelmed and astounded. God continues to give me incredible signs (a song) and wonders (bonjour, Strawberry Moon!) despite my unbelief. God knows that when I’m praying, “I need You now,” I’m really saying, “I need to know You are real and present and actually working all things together for good.”
God can turn night into day, mourning into dancing, and a moon we’ve stopped noticing into evidence of His love and a reflection of His glory. In looking at Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, it’s clear that God will stop at nothing – nothing! – to demonstrate His love for each of us.
He used a strawberry moon to remind me of His love. How is God getting your attention to tell you how much He loves you?
Ruth Mills says
Amen Robin!
Robin Dance says
❤️Ruth❤️
Jen says
“That morning I didn’t bring much of a “heart of worship” but at least I showed up. And God can move in our hearts, even if all we can manage is just showing up.”
This article really resonates with me! Thank you for sharing parts of your story and affirming the fact that sometimes, it’s ok to not be ok but that even in all of that brokenness & in the desert, God can still work.
“God’s faithfulness in spite of my past unbelief gives me confidence in His faithfulness now.” – so true!
Robin Dance says
So thankful you can relate, Jen. There’s something incredibly helpful when you understand there are others who’ve walked in similar shoes and “get it.” To God be the glory!
Gail says
What a wonderful encouragement! What a wonderful God we have! It’s amazing how He speaks to us. He knows just what we need and He cares about all of it.
Robin Dance says
Gail,
Doesn’t it make you thankful?
Amy Watson says
Beautiful. Thank you Robin for allowing God to speak through you to encourage others. Your transparency and honesty allow others to see a faithful, loving and good God. I love you, my friend!
Robin Dance says
Amy,
<3 Love you, too. So grateful for you and Keith.
Anna Gibson says
“What if these circumstances, over time, were exactly what you needed – not easy, not without pain – but what you ultimately needed?” This really encouraged my ❤️this morning. Thank you for needed perspective!
Robin Dance says
That’s right from my pastor, Anna! I’ll have to tell him what you said :).
Jill says
I’m sorry you’re going through a difficult season. I pray that God’s love helps you find peace and some joy along the way as he weaves this together to advance the kingdom.
I most often find God’s love and glory in nature. Lately, I love the way leaves dance on trees with a breeze and how grass sways rhythmically, and flowers bloom and birds fly. It’s a symphony of things he has created for me to enjoy. It makes my heart happy.
Dawn Davies says
Such a beautiful description, Jill. Thank you!
Robin Dance says
Jill,
My kids and friends know I’m a nature freak (I’ll messaged all three of them / talked to them when I saw that moon). It’s beautiful how God speaks to you!
Cheyla says
Oh Robin, this was much needed today! With my dad in the hospital with a serious infection while caring for my mom at home with severe dementia, and working a full time job, I’m definitely struggling, and ashamed to say that I’m angry with God and the world in general. Your post gives me something to reflect on to see if I can turn my thoughts around. Blessings to you and the (in)courage family!
Robin Dance says
((Cheyla))
You’re walking a hard, lonely-at-times road. I’m praying for you this morning, so grateful to know you’re encouraged. It REALLY helps to have friends walking alongside you, IRL and virtually; they remind us what we may know but too often forget. What a gift.
Dawn Davies says
If you need someone to walk in the desert with you, I’m here!
My emotions have been like ping pong balls, so they need the nice soft sand to rest.
xoxoxoxoxo
Robin Dance says
Dawn,
What a great metaphor–emotions as ping pong balls! That might not be a sermon, but it’ll preach! xo
Irene says
This is lovely, Robin! Wishing you lots of “Strawberry Moons” in your life!
Robin Dance says
Hey Irene :),
I’ve had another this week <3. Hope you see some of your own, too!
Susen says
Wow! Beautiful, home hitting post for me. Thank you for sharing so eloquently your experiences and dealings with them. I’m sure many are going to be touched by your story.
Robin Dance says
((hugs)) to you, Susen.
d from Canada says
That was a beautiful share Robin!
Thank You
Robin Dance says
So grateful you share this space with us, d from Canada :).
karyn j says
beautifully said! thank you for sharing!
Robin Dance says
<3
Lori says
I am also going through something in our family that blindsided me and is hard to accept. I know God can cause ALL things to work together for good. I pray that He will use it to transform me into the person He has called me to be. Thank you for the encouragement. Praying that we will all be alert to the reminders of God’s love for us.
Robin Dance says
Lori,
I’m sending you virtual hugs and prayers this morning. Those blindsides are rough…to infinity and beyond. I know them so well :/. God as my (our) hope keeps me going. So thankful you’re part of our (in)community!
M Louise says
Wow Robin, in tears after reading this today, the start of a new month. I seem to be struggling in the last few weeks, first with some virus, but mostly with my thoughts and feelings. What you state here is just another reminder for me that God is all around me–and I am always looking for His “signs” — and to continue to remain patient for prayers to be answered. Remaining grateful and joyful. Thanks for sharing your story.
Beth Williams says
Robin,
I know that my past experiences while hard to go through shaped me into the woman I am today. There were days when attending church I didn’t feel like worshipping. But God knew what I needed. He would have the perfect song or the right message & wham. Sometimes I would get the message 2 to 4 times in different ways. A few weeks ago I turned on TBN & stumbled on a Chris Tomlin concert. He played the song “Thank you Lord”. When I heard that song I immediately got the CD. That song is my life’s song now. It speaks to me about giving God thanks no matter the situation good or bad.
Blessings 🙂