The weariness wove its tendrils through me, dragging me down without asking permission.
It had been weeks of radiation, surgery, and chemo. My new ostomy bag gurgled and churned, interrupting the awkward silence, and there I lay on the PET scan table, valiantly losing a staring contest with the dirty white ceiling tiles above me — my hospital gown scratching as it tried to reveal more of me than was decent.
Would the radiologist find constellations of tumors lighting up my lungs like the ones my mum and sister had battled? Had the family heat-seeking missile of death locked in on me?
Let’s just say I wasn’t my happiest, skippiest self that day. I was weary, worried, and quite honestly, over it.
Earlier, as I sipped my morning tea, I’d laughed as I read Isaiah 42:10: “Sing to God a new song, his praise from the ends of the earth!”
Yeah right, I thought. Like that’s going to happen today.
Have you ever laughed at Scripture? Not because it’s funny but because the chances of you putting it into action are as likely as a teenage boy spontaneously showering.
Isaiah 42:10 is a call to sing a new song; to raise our voices, rejoice, sing for joy, shout from the mountain tops, and proclaim His praise from this little green spinning planet. But when life’s gone belly up and we’re struggling to get through the day, it’s not quite so simple or easy.
Many of us find ourselves feeling more weary and worried than overflowing with worship and wonder. Financial worries, grief, loss, parenting struggles, or a fragile marriage, among many other unnamed cares, can weigh us down and leave us crippled.
It’s tempting to think Isaiah 42:10 is a text for when life is all rainbows and butterflies, not stress and struggle. But it’s exactly moments like this — when life is hard, we’re tired and want things to change — that this text is for. It’s a rally cry for times of darkness, suffering, weariness, waiting, apathy, and doubt.
It’s a call that doesn’t stop because it’s been a tough year and we can’t think of anything to give thanks and praise for. It’s a call that doesn’t stop because we’ve been diagnosed, lost a loved one, or discovered our teen is cutting.
No matter how weary or worried you are, I want to encourage you to read Isaiah 42:1-17 where we find this call from the Lord spoken through the prophet to the people of Israel.
Because here’s the thing…
When Isaiah spoke these words to the people of Israel, they hadn’t just won a big victory. They hadn’t seen a huge God-miracle play out before them or enjoyed years of plenty and security. Nope, quite the opposite. They were a broken and enslaved people. The golden age of Hezekiah, with its economic and religious stability, was over. Israel was again in captivity to the Babylonians and the people were bone-weary, worn out, and worried beyond belief.
Sound familiar?
Yet in the middle of these tough times, God calls them to sing a new song — to burst forth in joy, hope, and peace in the darkness.
Notice, He doesn’t say, “When life’s good again you’ll be able to sing a new song to me.” Instead, He calls them (and us) to sing a new song right where we are, right now.
Even in a hospital gown on the PET scan table.
So that’s what I did. Kind of.
I quietly hummed “It’s your breath in my lungs and I pour out my praise to you only.” And as I did, my hum became a mumble which rose to a soft song of praise that echoed out from the depths of the scanner.
To worship through my weariness and worry was an act of defiance against my cancer, and the worry-filled exhaustion seeping through my core.
It said, “God, You are good, even when life isn’t. I trust You even when I can’t see what’s ahead, and You love me despite my feeling alone.”
I want to encourage you today, no matter what you’re facing or how tired and anxious you are, that the call Isaiah gave the Israelites is ours today. As we sing a new song, we exchange our weariness and worry for wonder and worship. We find God in our darkest places.
Will you sing a new song with me today?
I’ll be the one with the bags under her eyes, belting “It’s Your breath in my lungs,” slightly off-key.
Oh Niki, the struggle is real & it’s hard. So thankful for your sharing so beautifully the truth that God is present & good even in the midst of the miserable. May you continue to fight so valiantly & that God gives your body rest & recovery this side of heaven until He gives the complete healing of heaven. Blessings! (((0)))
Thank you Ruth. I’m doing really well now and I’m so thankful.
I’ve been in the darkest of places for 6 years when someone who supposedly loved me twisted a knife in my back. The pain has been unbearable. It is hard to look for God and believe He can do anything good with this pain. Singing a new song is just too much right now. I know God is here and I know He has a plan, but my brain and heart cannot wrap around the fact that somehow through these buckets of tears I’m supposed to sing.
Becky, laments are songs to God as well. Keep singing & rely on Him to turn those tears to joyful notes. In the meantime your heavenly siblings (like me) will sing for you. Dearest Father, You know the intricacies of Becky’s heart & hurt. I sing praises to You that You have not left her or forsaken her even in the depths of her pain. I praise You that You are behind the scenes and look expectantly for Your glory to be revealed in Becky’s circumstances. I thank You that You hear our cries. I thank You that You don’t just love & provide for us but that You love us best. Shield Becky from Satan’s lies & rehearsals of the hurts. Give her Your strength to lift up just one note of a new song until it becomes a symphony. Give her heavenly siblings near her to encourage her face to face singing over her daily. In Your great, powerful, precious name Jesus I sing!
Oh Becky I’m so sorry. Betrayal by someone we love is devastating. I agree with Ruth that lament is worship so go ahead and tell God how hurt you are and pour out your questions to him. I know worship feels big, bold and full of joy but your simple yet profound words “I know God is here and I know He has a plan” is full of trust, surrender and worship.
He loves you my friend.
x
Becky,
Sweet sister. So sorry for what you have been through. You must remember that God is with you ALL the time. He is there waiting. Cry your heart to Him. He wants to hear from & comfort you. In the meantime I will pray hard for you. Abba Father, Please be with Becky right now. She is in the midst of pain from a loved one. Father you know everything. Send your healing touch to Becky’s heart & soul. Give her a discerning heart to know your scriptures from Satan’s lies. Shower her with your great & wonderful love. AMEN
Blessings 🙂
Oh Niki, how strong you are. I began reading this after a minor pity party this morning. Lately, I have been forcing myself to find the joy and even to pray with sincerity. It is not a good feeling. But I read your words and your story as I sit here having my morning coffee and listen to the birds sing and the heaviness is slowly lifting. Your faith and trust is a true blessing.
I’m so glad it was encouraging. Like you I’m more than familiar with hosting my own pity parties!! Big and small!
I know it doesn’t feel so good to force ourselves to pray or find joy when we really don’t feel like it but God is so faithful and meets us there. Right where we are.
I’m so glad the heaviness is lifting. YOUR faith and trust have encouraged ME!
Thank you for what you wrote Nicki. We do find when we are weird and weary. As God can be the only person we can turn too. I suffer seizures not as bad some people. I get one a week. Some no weeks. But I get no woring with mine. They just happen. I have given myself a black eye knocked some of my teeth out. But I still here to tell the story. As Lady a few years older than me said. She has health problems too. God doesn’t want us in Heaven with us yet as he has more work for us to do for him done here on earth. I totally had to agree with her when she said that. Otherwise I be in Glory with him now. Yes my Family be said. Especially my Husband. I have no kids. But my Dad even though not saved and Sisters etc. They not saved. Only ones in my family saved is my Husband and me. I pray for their salvation. As to them and their Families saved that would mean the world to me. Especially my elderly Dad. I thank God for every day I am still here. I have go thermal illness and told only got 6 months to a year to live. I very thankful for that. As lot of people alot worse than me. So I say what Psalm 118 verse 24 says “This is the day the Lord has made let us rejoice and be thankful” yes let us do what that verse says everyday if we can. I try to do it every day. Keeping you all incourage in prayer Dawn Ferguson-Little xx
Words I think we all need to read or hear more than once. Thank you for sharing with us today.
You’re welcome.
xx
Just what I needed! THANK YOU! Prayers and love, AmaTHa
I needed this. Thank you
You are more than welcome my friend.
x
Thank you, Niki! I am not in a dark place right now. But…there will be more dark times in my life. Maybe just around the corner. I will try to remember your words, when those times come.
I’m thrilled you’re not in a dark season right now. Praise God!
But you’re right, they will come, so I’m glad this spoke to you in advance of the clouds rolling in.
xx
Oh Niki, thank you so much for this! You explained the praising through the storm so well and it touched me. I hope you’re doing better now. Big hug and blessings to you!
I’m so glad and yes, I’m doing so much better now.
Thank you.
xx
Nikki, I praise Adonai for you and your testimony. You are such an inspiration!! My heart needed this encouragement. Day started off well but instead of reading my Bible first, I complained about my Mom’s dementia. It’s hard when she forgets and where she put things, including some of my stuff. I allowed fear, worry & anxiety to take over instead of asking for the peace of Christ to rule in my mind, fixing my thoughts on Him.
You shared, “Yet in the middle of these tough times, God calls them to sing a new song — to burst forth in joy, hope, and peace in the darkness.” Actually what I needed to do! It’s His breathe in my lungs.
How priceless is His unfailing love! We find refuge in the shadow of His Wings. Psalm 149:4, NLT “For the LORD delights in His people; He crowns the humble with victory.”
I’m sorry you’ve had a rough morning but I just love the way God dropped this little nudge to worship anyway right in your lap when you needed it most.
He sees you and all you’re dealing with.
x
Tanya,
Sweet sister I understand your feelings. Both my parents had dementia. It is hard to deal with some days. Even harder watching them slip away. Sweet Jesus Give Tanya strength to endure her mom’s dementia. Guide her in making the right decisions regarding care. Help rid her of any fear & anxiety she may feel. Give them good days together. AMEN.
Blessings 🙂
Yes, yes to the “laughable” Scriptures and yes and amen to the Spirit supplying supernatural peace and new worship through the dark times. Thanks so much for sharing.
You’re welcome. TBH that wasn’t the first time I’ve read scripture and thought “You’ve got to be kidding God?” But he’s not and when we dig deeper we see why!
This is so unbelievably true! This past year I was critically injured in a cattle ranching accident. My back was fractured in two places and my right tibia was completely crushed. Kathy Tricoli’s song, “My Life is in Your Hands” began playing, on repeat, in my mind as I rode in the back of an ambulance for the next hour and continued for the next month as I endured 3 surgeries and extensive rehab. Staff from all over the hospital came to my room to meet me and ask to pray for me. They couldn’t understand my peace and “even joy” as I recovered. Long story short, I have a leg and I can walk and my back pain is all but gone. Doctors, lawyers and hospital staff cannot explain how I kept my leg and can walk without a limp. I am convinced that when we offer “the sacrifice of praise” God moves mountains to get to us and show his glory.
Niki, it was an honor to read this piece. Thank you for welcoming us into your story, and allowing (in)courage the privilege to share it. Much love!
You’re welcome. It’s a joy to be a part of the community.
Niki,
Thank you for a great story. Lately I’ve had little pity parties about my job. I know God gave me this job, but it changed drastically last fall to something I don’t like at all. I do my best each day to sing songs to God in praise. My favorite song of late is Chris Tomlin’s “Thank You Lord”. It talks about being thankful for little things like being on a porch swing with spouse, family, hard times, keeping us humble & being there when we stumble.
Blessings 🙂
I love that song too!! Such a good reminder to give thanks even when we don’t feel particularly grateful and that there are small beautiful wonders around us if we slow down and look.
x
Love this reminder ❤️. Thank You..God Bless.