There was a hole-in-the-wall Indian buffet we used to stop by almost every Sunday on our way home from church. The kids would order the mango lassi and my husband would eat samosas and tandoori chicken with warm soft naan till he couldn’t move. But one day, everything was different. It looked the same, but the flavors and spices were off as if they had poured water into all the curries. I was disappointed and frustrated. In fact, I didn’t understand why it bothered me so much until much later after marinating on it. To me, most buffets adulterate the authentic flavors to make dishes more appetizing for the general public. They water it down to make it consumer-friendly. But that is misrepresenting the food of my country — for profit.
I realized the reason I was so angry was because that was what I had to do to myself for most of my life. I had to water down the Indian part of my identity to make everyone around me comfortable. I would avoid my culture, get rid of my accent, and cater to the dominant or majority culture that I was immersed in. A part of me had to stay hidden so I would be welcomed and given space at tables where I was the only one who looked like me. Personally, I think the hardest part of being an immigrant was giving up so much of my cultural identity to fit into the majority culture but still remain an outsider.
It was only in my thirties that I realized this transformative and liberating truth: God made me Indian. My cultural identity was chosen by the Creator on purpose. It was not accidental. My skin tone, my cultural heritage, my mother tongue were all handpicked for me to display to the world — for His glory and my good. All this time I had been trying to cover it up to make everyone like me, yet it is when I embrace all of me and show up fully and authentically that I don’t simply impress people but I get to influence them.
In 2020, God placed a burden in my heart for Indian women. As I told a friend about this new passion, she immediately responded, “You don’t ever really talk about being Indian.” Without even thinking, I said, “It’s hard when I tried to hide it for so long!”
Esther in the Bible was in a similar place. She was a Jewish girl, but no one in the palace knew. She was now queen and had grown comfortable in the new identity she had adopted so she could belong. But she had hidden her Jewish identity for so long that she didn’t see her people’s struggle. She had to be reminded that she wasn’t safe simply because of her status as queen and that perhaps it was a setup for her to save her people. When it was time to step into her God-given purpose, Esther had to be fully authentic and honest about her cultural identity, even if it meant rejection and death.
I had to do the same. God spoke to my heart, People need to see Jesus in someone who looks like them. So I decided it was time to talk about Jesus but in my own voice as an Indian American woman. I began to share about my struggles with finding identity and what it meant to live in this third culture and raise children in it, which is not always easy. I shared about my love for Indian clothes and food. All of a sudden, women who looked like me from all over the world began to reach out to share their struggles, asking for prayer and advice.
Friends, we don’t need to hide or water down any part of us to fit into culture. God intentionally made every part of us and wired us together. Nothing was accidental. The way we walk and see this world is unique in the same way He made us unique. Therefore, our reasonable act of worship is to surrender every part of us to bring Him glory because the things that make us different are often the very things that point others to the Divine.
To begin the process of authentically showing up, I urge you to invite the Holy Spirit to convict your hearts as you ask this question to yourself: “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man?” (Galatians 1:10 ESV)
So beautiful! Thank you for sharing your struggle & using it to point to the Devine. My heart is heavy that we don’t easily accept others. Thank you, Jesus that You do!!! Blessings beautiful sister!
Thank YOU! I think we all like the familiar and embrace it easier than we do what/who is different. It’s natural- but God calls us to the super natural upside down kingdom, where we actual befriend the outsider and pray for our enemies. So as Christians we get to go first and set the example for the world.
this is beautiful Simi! so grateful for the passion God placed on your heart to share His love and redemption story in your words and vulnerable beautiful self, YOU! All praise be to God that He opened your eyes and heart to who He created YOU to be…chosen for such a time as this for His purpose and His glory!!
Amen! We don’t need to hide any part of how God has gifted us to please people – our life has a higher purpose than that!
This post is so encouraging, Simi. It motivates me to be more aware of how I may have presented a watered-down version of myself to be accepted — or where I may have thrown water on someone else’s beauty because I wasn’t comfortable with her differences.
That means everything! Because when we become aware we can change. It won’t happen in a day, I had to learn to continue to be self aware.
Thank you that made me tear up and spoke to my heart.
Thank you so much friend…so glad this spoke to your heart!
Thank you for your transparency. I think you are beautiful and I celebrate you!
Be Simi, dear friend
Thank YOU! God bless you!
So authentic. I have experience hiding my background but it was easier for me because you could not tell from the outside. It bothered me growing up because I so admired my grandparents for who they were and what they accomplished in spite of what they faced. I have also hidden who I am by keeping the fact that I love my church and all it stands for. Only recently have I been comfortable sharing that I was at worship, or I was at a church clean up day, or whatever was going on at church. And I feel so much better about myself and my faith. so Amen to you!
I am so glad that you are courageously showing up as YOU- God smiles when we finally realize there is nothing to hide, we are no longer slaves to shame or fear. We are His daughters!
Very thought provoking, Simi. I will ponder this today. Thank you.
You are so welcome!
We all are outsiders because we are not from this world. We are of God’s kingdom. I’m Caucasian and yet ostracized most of the time because I stand up for what God says is right and I’m not afraid to share my faith.
Amen! We all have parts we hide, but God invites us to be authentic so we can truly mirror His grace and glory to the world.
Thank you Simi! In my 20s I met a woman who was my age. I had lived in the area for a few weeks. She had been there a week. I asked if she was new to the company or the city. She said “both”. I offered to take her around and show her places to eat, the location of the company credit union, company gym and asked her to have lunch with me the next day. She asked me why I would do that since she was mixed race (Japanese and African American). I answered her with ‘I hope you won’t judge me because I am so obviously a white American’ and we both laughed. She told me later that I was the first person she had met that week who accepted her. I almost cried. It’s been decades since that encounter and the happy look on her beautiful face is still a photo on my memory.
Thanks for sharing your story and thanks for reaching out to that woman! It only takes one person’s love and friendship sometimes to help another feel seen and known!
Simi,
I am saddened that we don’t easily accept people different from us. We are a country filled with immigrants from all over the world. I don’t judge people from other cultures, but accept them readily. They are just like me only born in a divergent culture. Think about this: we are all going to be in Heaven one day Chinese, Mexican, Indian, Scottish, German, American. We might as well learn to like each other down here. I have a saying about myself “if you don;t like me the way I am then talk to God. He made me this way.”
Blessings 🙂
I agree, when we are willing to have conversations with people that are different than us, often we will find that we are more similar than different!
Your are gorgeous! What many American women would give to look like you…as we all strive to “Look Like” and serve Christ!
Coming from 40 years as a pharmacist, many congrats on your ministry in writing as well! I continued to work while raising my kiddos. Now I have more time to write – 4 books published with 5 more coming!
LisaWilt.com
Blessing to YOU! Happy Almost Easter!
Wow! That’s awesome…keep writing!!
Happy Easter!