I heard the roar of laughter as my teenaged daughters sorted through the box of photos from my husband’s childhood. “Oh Dad! Look at your shorts! And your sister’s hair!”
At the bottom of the box was a yellowed newspaper article dated 1975, folded two or three times. One of the girls opened it up on our kitchen table and called to me. “Mom, Mimi was famous! Look! This whole page is all about her cooking for her family!”
I leaned over the two-page spread and saw my beautiful mother-in-law featured in an article while she was in the throes of raising her family, teaching Bible study, owning her own business, and volunteering in her community.
The writer of the article called her the Cook of the Valley!
Smack in the middle of the page was the 5th grade version of my husband eating his favorite dessert, a chocolate meringue called Light as a Cloud, while doing his homework. The look of sheer delight on his face melted my heart as I looked over at him sitting in our living room. Sensing the familiar ache waking up inside me, I watched him organize dozens of photos of his beloved mom, dad, and brother, all who left this earth way too early.
The losses never fail to make me, him, all of us, long for the warmth of his loving extended family. I glanced back at the article, looked at my daughter, and thought aloud, “How can we keep these family recipes alive so we don’t forget them?”
“Let’s put all of our recipes in one family recipe book and give it away as a gift,” my daughter said. And that’s what we did. For several weeknights and any free time on the weekends, my daughter and I compiled family recipes we’d kept over the years. We emailed relatives who knew a few secret family recipes: one or two were from my side of the family, some were from my husband’s sister, and a handful were from close friends whose comfort food made it on our list. Most were our family’s favorites I’ve made through the years.
My daughter found an on-line program to help us set up each recipe on 4×6 cards that fit perfectly in a purchased three-ring binder created for this recipe program. Honestly, the process took more hours than we’d first imagined.
The result: a family heirloom dating back 90 years, bursting with the colors of fall vegetables, creamy soups, and melt-in-your-mouth desserts.
Our efforts paid off in more ways than I can count. Just last week when I returned from a long afternoon of meetings, I was taken back by the scene and smells meeting me at the entryway of our kitchen. One daughter was perched on a high stool at the island doing her homework while my other daughter was standing at the stove stirring a pot of homemade granola. In the instant she placed a plateful of the yummy snack in front of her sister, my daughter caught my eye and smiled.
“Want some, Mom?” As I pulled up a stool, something new awakened in me.
It wasn’t an ache of loss and it wasn’t the opposite of loss either. I believe it was satisfaction, a feeling of fullness. We were hungry for the love of our extended family, and God multiplied what we had and called it good.
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Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Pamela,
I loved this!!! What a family heirloom and legacy. It’s not our “stuff” that our children want when we leave this planet…it’s a piece of us…our legacy that they will cherish. I encourage all of my writing friends to save their posts and journals (if you’re brave) in a safe place so that your children will have a piece of you when you are gone. My daughter told me that was what she would cherish more than anything – my writing – and my Bible that has all sorts of notes, underlines, prayers scribbled in it. Thanks for this uplifting post this am.
Blessings,
Bev
Pam Lau says
Hi! Bev – Thank you for sharing your thoughts this morning with me! Your daughter’s sweet words about your writing is precious! Your words are a beautiful reminder of how closely our daughters watch our lives!
Joanna @ Modern Ruth Project says
Very sweet, Bev!!
LaToya Brown says
Bev, your daughter are the exact same in that manner, I too told my mom I wanted her Bible and notebooks. I also cherish old pots and pans that have been “loved on” through the years.
LaToya Brown says
Pamela, thank you for sharing your story and the legacy of your husband’s mother. Amazing to see simple acts of love continue down through generations.
Pam Lau says
Good Morning, LaToya! I hope my story encourages women to stay close to women who are ahead of them in life! Even if you don’t feel especially close to your mother in law (or mother), there is always something unique to them they can pass along to us! And you are RIGHT, it’s often the most simple acts of love that touch us deeply.
Joanna @ Modern Ruth Project says
Thanks for a great post! Family is more than people – it’s also the memories that we’ve shared, the traditions, the binds between us. As I am getting ready to get married and start my own family, I am already thinking about what I want to create and pass on for my children. Thanks for a great idea about a cookbook!
Pam Lau says
Hello! Joanna ~ Through this project, my daughters and I discovered that there are dozens of ways to preserve family recipes digitally! And often the resources cost very little! Special blessings to you as you begin married life!
Joanna @ Modern Ruth Project says
Thanks!!
Linda Miltzow says
Pam, I am so glad you shared this story about your family with us. Your Mother in love reminded me of the Proverbs 31 woman. What a special person she must have been in the lives of those who knew her.
The cook book idea has really got me thinking….what great gifts of love to those who use it and read to “warm and comfort” them from the inside out! I still have some of my grandma’s handwritten recipes…how sweet it is to “see” her in them 🙂
Pam Lau says
Good Morning! Linda ~
Yes! My mother in law was an extraordinary woman who never let one day of life pass by without encouraging one of us in her family! It never ceases to amaze me how much homemade food really blesses the people closest to us! Most of us are hungry three or four or five times a day so the gift of food is a fitting choice! I’m challenging myself to plan more surprises for my family and friends this summer! Blessings on your day today!
Linda Miltzow says
Hi, Bev! Thank you for the encouragement to gather my post and journal writings. Others have asked me to do the same.
It is part of our legacy to tell the children down through the the generations what the Lord has done for us, so that they will always fear Him and remember Him, and that they would know and love Him with their whole being!
Thank you for your words of encouragement here at incourage. You are a blessing to us!
JeanneTakenaka says
What a beautiful gift to give your daughters and their one-day families. I have only a few recipes from my grandma, and I so wish I had more. The legacy you’re passing on of choosing to remember, and choosing to love speaks deeply to me. 🙂
Loved your post today. 🙂
Pam Lau says
Good to hear from you, Jeanne! Thank you for your forward vision of our daughters’ “one-day families”. Sometimes I live so focused on the here and and now that I forget how my choices and decisions will impact the generations yet unborn!
Rachel B says
Oh my goodness!!
I love this so much!! All of my grandparents passed when I was very young, so I never got to develop a relationship with them. But, my Mom has recipes from both of my Grandmother’s & her own cooking is such a delight!
You have inspired me today! We’ll see what comes of it!!
Pam Lau says
Hi! Rachel ~ please let us all know what comes of your inspiration! I’m sure your Mom will love what you create!
Beth Williams says
Pamela,
Such a sweet sweet story. I have a few of my mom’s recipes. I cherish and make them for my hubby. That is what most children want–a piece of their parents-pictures, recipes, etc. Memories to look at and reminisce. I made my aging dad a photo album comprised of some of the old old pictures from his childhood. His parents, mom’s parents, farm, etc. He loves looking at it and remembering those times.
Blessings 🙂
Pam Lau says
Hello! Beth ~
Don’t you think all the memories, recipes, pictures goes back to our deep yearning for identity? I’m not trying to go too deep here and yet it’s the simple things and the things we enjoy in the daily of life that makes us feel close to one another. What a loving gift you gave to your Dad!
Nancy Ruegg says
For Christmas I gave our daughter about a dozen of my mother’s recipes which she had handwritten on 3 x 5 cards for me years ago. I made copies for me, and gave our daughter the originals. Not only was she grateful for the recipes, but for the fact they were written in her hand. (What is it about handwriting that’s so special, and particularly connects us to the writer? I’ll have to think on that a bit!) Thank you for a heart-warming story, Pamela.
Pam Lau says
I absolutely agree, Nancy! Not to talk about an unrelated subject but it means so much to me when someone gives me a hand-written note or card! It feels deeply personal. A person’s handwriting tells us about them. Thanks for sharing your own recipe story about your daughter. All of this reminds me how important it is to hold on to certain things and let the rest go!
Rebecca Jones says
Lovely story! I’ve been trying to recall some of the memorable stories from my family. And I suggested just this weekend to a lady who wanted to do a cook book, to condense it down to her German family recipes.
Cheri Johnson says
Love this story. So sweet and I can almost smell those endearing foods.