About the Author

Anne Watson is a recovering perfectionist & coffee lover passionate about helping women reach their full potential.

Recent Posts

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Ann, this is good stuff! Besides my mother, my two best friends and I share long distance relationships. One of my friends is just absolutely loyal and she won’t let me shake her. My other friend and I talk every other month, but we always pick up where we left off. I’m better at long distance friendships than with people I see on a regular basis. I tend to hold women at a distance. I long for closer communion, but that requires a level of vulnerability I have a hard time showing, especially if I know I’ll have to see you again. Fear and pride. Yes, fear that if I showed my ugly our friendship would change. Pride, because I desire to control what people know of me.

    This post challenges me to get real with myself; I’m a little messed up and so are others, but grace allows us to accept ourselves and others… His grace is sufficient for me. Thank you.

    • I know exactly what you mean, LaToya! Long distance relationships are so much easier! But up close and personal ones can be so life giving if we have the courage to stick with it even when it’s hard! Thanks for your comments and encouragement! God’s best to you!

  2. I too like to run from conflict. It grieves me to mess up. I have a dear from friend of many years that just accepts me as I am and I, she. We have that easy kind of relationship that is sure of our love and doesn’t need to talk or spend lots of time together. I treasure it.

    Your transparency is so moving. It reminds me to accept myself and others, and to love unconditionally. xxxooo

    • Your comment reminds me that I need to go ahead and thank my friend for sticking with me even when it’s hard. Friends like that are rare and like you said, a treasure. May we have those friends and may we be those friends, as well. XOXO

  3. I am just like this……I can’t endure any conflict in a friendship. I just tolerate things others say or do that hurt until I can’t tolerate anymore and then back out of the relationship till it’s over, never explaining why. I also fear not really being wanted as a friend, so I don’t share too much, not wanting to turn anyone off, so I’m isolating myself from really being known (and possibly rejected). I second guess others, looking for wrong….why? I want close long-term friendships so much but don’t know how to trust people or resolve conflict. Where is this dealt with in the Bible?

    • Oh, Angela! I relate to this so much! The entire bible is all about how we need to trust God more than anyone else but there are countless stories of people risking big rejection. Look at Moses, Esther, David & Jonathan, Rahab, Ruth….they all had to risk something when they trusted another and every single time, God was faithful. He will be faithful to you, too, friend. Here’s the thing…if you isolate, you’ll never have or be the friend you want but if you risk it, you may just find something beautiful! Be, brave! XO

      • True. This is a Word in due season. We are not perfect. None of us. We try to patch up our selves to be that way, and it makes us further from God and each other. I’m determined. I want God to make me Authentic this year with myself and others.

  4. Anne, you are a gem in your authenticity. Thank you for sharing your imperfections so that we can walk in freedom my friend. You are a guidepost for many including me. XOXO

  5. Thanks Anne! Shared this on my fb page… I am a therapist who works with women… most of us struggle with conflict and self-compassion… grace, grace, grace!! Thanks for being so honest and open

  6. Brilliant writing, Anne! Words we can all relate too. Thank you so much for this encouragement to rehearse God’s truth to ourselves when the ugly thoughts crop up. Sometimes I feel so powerless against my own thoughts. I can relate to having grace with others, but denying it to myself. Thank you.

    • Thank you for your kind encouragement, Betsy! I am so grateful. I know just what you mean about being powerless against our own thoughts. It takes work and practice, and sometimes index cards with truth written on them strategically taped to places I look at often. (Car dashboard, bathroom mirror, fridge, washer/dryer, etc.) It’s hard but not impossible! Lean on Him and He will make it happen!

  7. So true! It seems when we don’t hear back from a friend in a “timely” manner, right away we’re trying to figure out what we said wrong. Most times, it’s just a lie from the enemy trying to drive a wedge. Great post! We need community, and we need each other. 🙂

  8. Thank you for this truth – and for being transparent about a struggle because it is always good to know others struggle to -your words have encouraged my heart and I thank you for the reminder about taking every thought captive – I need to do that all the time and I am so thankful for Gods reminder

  9. Very good stuff! I could have written much of this myself. I particularly liked the line about good friends are worth fighting for! I get bogged down with shame for my friendship screw-ups. I forget God is a loving, forgiving, gracious God. God doesn’t want us to pull away when relationships get hard although that is our natural response. He wants us to follow His example and press in, draw near. I need to look upward and outward rather than inward which pulls me into a downward spiral of out-of-control negative emotions, irrational thinking, etc. Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!