Have you ever heard a statistic that just seemed to leave an imprint on your heart?
Recently, I heard someone say that 80% of babies in orphanages die because of a lack of compassionate, physical touch. Being a new mom, this statement obviously hurt my tender mommy heart.
My son is only five months old, yet I can see his little independence already starting to blossom. Understanding that he won’t always be this small, I have taken advantage of all the cuddles and snuggles that I can get. I know that this has only strengthened my bond with him. Even medical professionals urge moms of newborns to enjoy times of “skin to skin,” which also aids in mother/baby bonding. Science has proven the release of Oxytocin, the “love drug,” occurs with physical touch and creates a lasting bond between humans.
As I let images of lonely, unloved little ones in those orphanages run through my being, I begin to wonder:
Do we ever outgrow the need for physical connection and affection?
In the age of hyper-technology and social media, we can communicate with anyone and everyone from around the globe, around the clock. It’s obvious that people still enjoy connecting with one another, not just as networking partners, but as friends. Right, Facebook?
But are we truly connected?
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 tells us the value of a friend:
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.
Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Over the years, I have to admit that I’ve allowed myself to rely on social media and texting to keep my friendships going. Although convenient, I have wondered why I’ve always felt short-changed. The reason is because my friendships on social media — merely texting my friends — will never allow them to pick me up when I fall or hold me when I’m “cold.”
The warmth of a hug or a shoulder to cry on can’t be found online. No, we can only find that kind of affection face-to-face, enjoying the physical presence of a beloved friend.
I challenge you to join me in being intentional with physically spending time with our friends. Keep that coffee date on your calendar (don’t cancel it again!), go on a shopping trip with your girlfriends (even if it’s just window shopping), or cook dinner with your married friends (and put your phones away and enjoy the conversation during your meal together!).
It’s easy to say we “don’t have the time.” Well, it’s time to invest in our friendships and see them flourish into a lasting bond that could last a lifetime.
And that reminds me of another statistic I heard, one worth striving for:
If a friendship lasts longer than seven years, psychologists say it will last a life-time.
[linebreak]
Related: Gift this inspiring art print to encourage a friend and remind her that you’re in this together, always.
Leave a Comment
Lina Rochette Hill says
Thank you for the wonderful reminder to get out with girlfriends in real life! I am so very blessed to have friendships of over 20+ years with quite a few ladies! God has been good to me on that front. It takes work and it takes being pushy to be sure we all connect on a regular basis, but it is well worth it. Social media is great for keeping in touch with those far away but those that are in town need to get out and mingle more. This from a life long introvert. =)
Emily Rose Massey says
That’s awesome that you have friendships with such history! Be blessed!
Anna Smit says
Emily, thank you for this beautiful post. There is such truth in what you share. When I do physically meet up with friends it is such a blessing. I strongly believe God longs for us to feel the love of physical presence as well. On Sunday, I went for a run, praying God would open my eyes and heart to Him and as I neared the end of my run He drew me to stop and talk to an elderly man, struggling with his walker. I chatted briefly and went on my way, only to have my heart be tugged to return and tell him that God loves him and that life is tough but God has a new body awaiting him in heaven and was here for him right now…he had tears streaming down his face. In seeing that, I put my arm around him. It was such a powerful experience, teaching me just how much God SEES us, every one of us and also that I should follow those tugs…despite the embarrassment, shame or “I can’t be bothered” feelings. And it shows me in reading your post, that God has built us to be in communion and to “be” with the brokenhearted around us.
Emily Rose Massey says
Anna, you have encouraged me so much! When I was in the marketplace, it was so much easier for me to witness and share Christ’s love on a daily basis. Now that I am a stay-at-home momma, I find myself missing those opportunities to minister. Thanks for the reminder to keep my ears open for God’s voice no matter where I am at.
Anna Smit says
I’m glad to hear it encouraged you. God is good! I’m a new stay-at-home Mum too (since December), but I’m discovering that it’s drawing me closer to God, as it’s freed up my mind (I was a high school teacher) and given me greater opportunities to “rest” in His presence throughout my day. I LOVE being outside more often and watching the skies and birds. And even watching my kids play giggling with delight and receiving their hugs has opened my heart to God’s great love for me. But I still have days where I tell myself I’m a failure (when I hear other Mums talking about their work)…but I find if I then dive into Scripture that God’s Word sets my heart straight.
Susan G. says
Thanks for these wise words today.
Blessings!
Emily Rose Massey says
You’re welcome, Susan. Thanks for reading!
Marty says
I love your insights in this post. Thank you so much for sharing!
Emily Rose Massey says
You are welcome, Marty! I enjoy the ministry through my writing.
Beth Williams says
Every year for the past few years I have gone on a Women’s retreat with women from my church. This year I invited a friend from work to come along and she will be coming. I’m looking forward to our time together! I also love to hug & snuggle with my sweetheart! I guess I need lots of Oxytocin!~
Making and being friends takes a lot of time and effort, but it is well worth it. I have a good covenant friend with whom enjoy talking, texting & seeing weekly (we go to same church). We also go garage saling in the summer. We enjoy the company!!
Blessings 🙂