“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows,
yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted.”
I thumbed through them slowly… high gloss photo perfection, perfectly white teeth shining brighter than my recently replaced tree lights.
Yep, ‘twas the season to count corny Christmas card smiles. But what the senders of those photos didn’t realize was…
…it was the toothless smiles that got to me the most.
Stair-step babies, “oops” children, ultrasound photos and hand-written announcements on green and gold stationary. “Guess what! We’re having quadruplets! And we thought we were done!”
Maybe I was just taking it a little hard this Christmas. And last Christmas. And the Christmas before.
I tried to pull out of my self-pity. I went to work. I went to church. I played carols at the hospital. Down deep, though — no matter how hard I tried to forget the ache — the holiday still came down to one thing: even a virgin had a baby.
Why had God forsaken me?
I’d like to say I put those photos on my fridge in faith. That God wrote words on my bedroom wall, promising I’d be holding my baby skin-to-skin by the following Christmas. He didn’t.
But I was.
And as I hold her this Christmas, skin-to-skin, this little curly-haired wonder, my heart still aches. For you.
The one who is still waiting.
Maybe not for a child… maybe for a spouse or job or better health. Maybe simply for a place to belong… a place to call home.
Maybe you’re grieving the loss of all these things.
Only you know the ache in your heart this Christmas.
While I can’t put faith on your refrigerator door or paint murals on your walls, I want you to know we are here. In this community, in your grief, in the words you cannot breathe out loud.
Our God, the one who made us and sees our pain, came down to share it with us.
And we want more than anything to share yours with you.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we will be able
to comfort those who are in any affliction,
with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)