If you missed the Part One, you can read it here.
“Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.” Ephesians 5:1-2, MSG
1. Invest
2. Inspire
3. Think outside the box
4. Commit
5. Be brave
These first five steps? I’ve seen them in action over the last month. I’ve seen women who have only met online walk into airport terminals and hotel lobbies, eyes and arms filled with love and grace. I’ve felt the power of a community of prayer-warrior women change my anxiety to bravery. I’ve seen love poured out in gifts of cupcakes, kind words, genuine kindness, and overwhelming generosity. And I’ve seen my heart – broken and scarred by past hurts – healed and inspired by community that puts God at the center.
Last month you were invited to share your favorite (in)couragement ideas, and they were amazing! Today, as promised, I’m sharing 5 more “go to” tips for (in)couraging your community:
6. Trust
When you’ve settled into your new community, when you feel as though you’ve found your spot on the bench, and you’re making connections with your sisters, trust them. Share the good, the bad, the prayer requests with the knowledge that they’ll keep it between themselves and God if you ask them to do so, and do the same for them. As you open up and allow them in, they’ll do the same, and you’ll see opportunities to encourage one another unfold.
7. Pray
Something beautiful happens when you share your story with your community and they commit to praying. It might look like waking up in the morning to text messages, Tweets, and emails checking in to see how you’re doing, voicemail messages letting you know you’re being prayed for, and private Facebook messages filled with prayers for your situation. Online friendships don’t have to be stuck on the computer screen. Join Voxer and leave little prayer messages if you don’t feel comfortable trading phone numbers. Send an email with a prayer if you aren’t able to text. Be creative in your connections. But at the end of the day, remember them in prayer, and check back in to let them know you’re still thinking about their situation.
8. Write
Maybe voicemail and Facebook messages aren’t in your comfort zone. If you would typically send a “thinking of you” card in the mail to a real life friend, consider doing the same for your online friend. Once you’ve built community and trust, ask your friend if she’d mind sharing her mailing address with you, so you can send her something special. Or if you aren’t comfortable with that, ask for her email address so you can send an eCard!
9. Celebrate
There will be times when the “thinking of you” card will need to be the “celebrating with you” card. And at times, it can be hard. Maybe your friend got a job that you’ve been longing for, or launched a new blog that was an instant success and you wonder “why not me?” Encourage her. Celebrate with her and rest in the knowledge that God’s timing for you, for your dreams, for you turn, are perfect. When your online friends write something beautiful, share it and cheer loudly for them. You may not see the benefit of it immediately, but one day, she’ll be there to cheer for you, too.
10. Love one another
Jesus gives us a new commandment in the Gospel of John: “love one another.” It’s how we’re set apart from the rest of the world. Maybe it looks like sharing an amazing tip that helped you become better at what you love to do, when the world says you should keep that to yourself. Or maybe it looks like stepping away from your role as wallflower and jumping in to offer a word of encouragement to someone.
I’ve seen women go above and beyond faceless, meaningless online connections and develop incredibly meaningful, Christ-centered friendships. I’ve stood humbly back and watched God put women together in small groups where they feel safe, where they can find encouragement and where “what’s in it for me” becomes “how can I serve you?”
There is something in it for you, though.
When you choose to encourage, when you take the time to commit, to pay forward what God has so graciously given to you, you will be blessed. You will stand in awe as months later these women you poured your heart into now stand behind and beside you as you walk through a season of challenge. It’s the kind of return on investment only God could orchestrate.
Crystal (the Community Builder) 🙂
Thank you for your tips and your encouragement to take the friendships we have developed online one or two steps further. It does come back to basics – love like God loves us (extravagantly)! You bring hope and inspiration to all of us little bloggers out here in cyberland!
Blessings,
Bev
Thank you so much for these kind words, Bev!
Crystal (the Community Builder) 🙂
Thank you for your tips and your encouragement to take the friendships we have developed online one or two steps further. It does come back to basics – love like God loves us (extravagantly)! You bring hope and inspiration to all of us little bloggers out here in cyberland!
Blessings,
Bev
Thank you so much for these kind words, Bev!
Very encouraging, I’ll be stepping up my encouraging efforts , I love to send cards so its time to get back to basics !!! It’s all about LOVE …. Thank you … God is so Good
Sending cards is so fun, right? It’s one of my favorite things to do 🙂
Sending cards is so fun, right? It’s one of my favorite things to do 🙂
Oh girl… I love all of this – Every. Word. I can not imagine my life with out this community and so grateful that God has opened up these doors in my life. There is something special about waking up to tweets, prayers and encouragement that poured in while you slept… just something about that make my heart sigh with content. God is so good, so, so good.
Encouragement goes beyond time zones, stages of life, personality types, and snack preferences 😉
Encouragement goes beyond time zones, stages of life, personality types, and snack preferences 😉
Crystal, You are a gifted encourager. Thanks for sharing. I can see God at work all over you. Shine on, friend. ~ Jennifer
Love seeing you here Jennifer! You’ve been on my heart and in my prayers, and your sweet words are a blessing.
Love seeing you here Jennifer! You’ve been on my heart and in my prayers, and your sweet words are a blessing.
Oh girl I so so love this! Love how you encourage others to love the body of Christ well! Thinking I might need to send some letters myself… 🙂
Ah, a little snail mail…good call…think I might need to carve out some time to do that myself!
Ah, a little snail mail…good call…think I might need to carve out some time to do that myself!
I love these tips, Crystal! I was especially convicted about celebrating with my friends… it’s easier for me to encourage my friends when they’re down sometimes, but so important to cheer them on when they’re doing well too. 🙂 Reading (in)courage has turned me into a card-sender, and I love that my friends have started sending them in return too! Thanks for your encouragement, and your leadership to the (in)couragers. 🙂
It kind of reminds me of how I tend to approach prayer – things are a little rough? I’m on my knees in seconds. Things are moving along smoothly? I can be honest enough to say I’m not as quick to go to the Father. It’s the same for me with encouraging others & that consistency is something I’m slowly working on 🙂
It kind of reminds me of how I tend to approach prayer – things are a little rough? I’m on my knees in seconds. Things are moving along smoothly? I can be honest enough to say I’m not as quick to go to the Father. It’s the same for me with encouraging others & that consistency is something I’m slowly working on 🙂
Crystal, friend, lovely! This bench I’ve been brought to and found a comfortable spot on is amazing and wonderful. The women I have met, and those I continue to meet, bless me up and down and sideways, and I strive daily to be that same blessing to them – whether it’s answering technical questions about HTML/CSS, or it’s offering prayers for someone I barely know… or that extra email sent off after reading a post and leaving a comment simply to reach out a bit further. I have seen these small gestures grow into amazing friendships. Cannot wait to meet you, friend — big smooshy hugs all around!!!
Looking forward to that day, too, Vanessa 🙂
Looking forward to that day, too, Vanessa 🙂
I just caught up on Part one and then dove right into Part Two… I have always prayed for the “workbook” so to speak, on how to be a better friend and encourager. Wondering how do I do this and why is it so tough?
I am learning, in this season of rebuilding new friendships and community, that it doesnt need to be so tough. It really doesnt. Thank you for sharing these words… HIs timing is perfect for this heart of mine!
It can be very hard, especially if you’ve been hurt by community. And I think we all have. But you’re right – sometimes it just takes one, little, simple, small step. Praying for you in this season, that God would guide that first step.
I just caught up on Part one and then dove right into Part Two… I have always prayed for the “workbook” so to speak, on how to be a better friend and encourager. Wondering how do I do this and why is it so tough?
I am learning, in this season of rebuilding new friendships and community, that it doesnt need to be so tough. It really doesnt. Thank you for sharing these words… HIs timing is perfect for this heart of mine!
It can be very hard, especially if you’ve been hurt by community. And I think we all have. But you’re right – sometimes it just takes one, little, simple, small step. Praying for you in this season, that God would guide that first step.
If there really is a “return on investment,” then how is it that I (and other women that I know) could pour into others for 20 years and then, when we needed it back, not have it given to us?
I know some reasons for that (inability to be vulnerable, feeling responsible to give but never allowed to receive, much less ASK FOR what I need), but sometimes, even as I move back into community and find good things there, the act of investing in others terrifies me. I did it for so long and ended up completely empty. I don’t know how to avoid having that happen again.
But it’s a journey, isn’t it? Even if what you say was not true for me in the past, perhaps it can become true in the future.
It’s a journey, definitely, and maybe that “return on investment” won’t be seen on this side of heaven. It sounds like you have a heart to pour into others, and that can shine beautifully for Jesus. One thing I’ve found is how important for me is to take time away to refill, to spend time with a very small, close group who know what I need and can keep me grounded in God. You can’t pour out when you’re running on empty. Praying for this season, this journey you’re in, that you would find hope and joy in the investment.
Thank you. Yes, I’ve been learning to try and not run on empty–even if refilling means saying “no” to people and backing away when I know I need to. I am not God; being there for others 24/7 without regard for my needs is not my job. 🙂
If there really is a “return on investment,” then how is it that I (and other women that I know) could pour into others for 20 years and then, when we needed it back, not have it given to us?
I know some reasons for that (inability to be vulnerable, feeling responsible to give but never allowed to receive, much less ASK FOR what I need), but sometimes, even as I move back into community and find good things there, the act of investing in others terrifies me. I did it for so long and ended up completely empty. I don’t know how to avoid having that happen again.
But it’s a journey, isn’t it? Even if what you say was not true for me in the past, perhaps it can become true in the future.
It’s a journey, definitely, and maybe that “return on investment” won’t be seen on this side of heaven. It sounds like you have a heart to pour into others, and that can shine beautifully for Jesus. One thing I’ve found is how important for me is to take time away to refill, to spend time with a very small, close group who know what I need and can keep me grounded in God. You can’t pour out when you’re running on empty. Praying for this season, this journey you’re in, that you would find hope and joy in the investment.
Great post!
Thanks Paula!
Thanks Paula!
Love to see this conversation. I’m a recipient of some great online encouragement and have seen the online friendships turn into true life friendships. We live in an amazing time when we have so many new ways to overcome isolation. Yay for encouraging relationships!
Crystal,
Great words of wisdom. I find myself an encourager all the time. I love sending
e-cards and have started sending “Snail mail cards” also. I find there’s nothing better than a hand written note: “praying for you”, etc. Also our women’s Bible study has a prayer time before we begin and I write down all names and pray for them.
All this blesses me as much as it does the receiver. It makes me realize how fortunate I am to be where I am at this point in life.
Blessings!
Crystal,
Great words of wisdom. I find myself an encourager all the time. I love sending
e-cards and have started sending “Snail mail cards” also. I find there’s nothing better than a hand written note: “praying for you”, etc. Also our women’s Bible study has a prayer time before we begin and I write down all names and pray for them.
All this blesses me as much as it does the receiver. It makes me realize how fortunate I am to be where I am at this point in life.
Blessings!