I praise the Lord with one hand holding my daughter, embracing all that comes with being a new mom, and with the other I grasp for more.
The more I can’t hold or handle right now.
Somewhere a weed of discontent has started to grow in the dirt of my soul.
The battle is raging . . . for my peace and to darken the glow of possessing a long-awaited miracle.
I find myself checking Facebook to see what “they” are doing, wondering why I can’t get my act together.
I wonder why that cool friend of mine who just became a mom seems to know a secret I don’t.
I wonder if I’ll ever feel pretty again like “those people” on TV.
I wonder how “those women” are so much more creative than I.
{Nothing to complain about here but extreme tired, a closet full of pre-pregnancy clothes that don’t fit and saggy boobs. {Yep, I just wrote boobs on (in)courage.} It’s true. Taking a shower is a miracle with a baby. And talking to yourself is purely educational for her development, not because I get lonely in the afternoons.}
I’m loving every moment with my three-month-old daughter. I stare at her sweet face and have to pinch myself that this is real. She’s finally here.
But whether you’re a new mom like me, frustrated in a not-so-ideal job, dealing with a health issue, waiting on a dream to come true or just on Pinterest too often comparing your home or your kid’s birthday with someone else’s glossy image, you know what it feels like to miss out.
Or at least to believe you’re missing out.
I’m here to tell you it’s a lie. The entire concept of missing out.
You’re not missing out. No ma’am. It just feels that way.
You’re probably like me and think if you utilize more of your down time, become a better communicator, stay up later, have closer friendships, be a killer multitasker or get your creative juices finally flowing . . . then you’ll feel better, more a part of what’s happening.
“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thess 5:16-18
The truth is you’re right where you’re supposed to be. Doing exactly what God had planned before the seas were parted from the land.
You have a purpose in your situation. You’re not missing out.
You would miss out on the good plan God has for your life if you were anywhere else, doing something “more important” or trying to be special.
You would miss out on God Himself.
I would rather think I’m missing out at times than miss Him.
Join me in choosing contentment and allow God to draw near to you, right where He’s placed you.
It’s a constant challenge, isn’t it Stephanie? To choose contentment. To see receive story as a gift. To trust we are enough. We all battle this, constantly. It’s what He uses to keep us close to Him. Glory be.
Stephanie,
I was so upset about a complicated knee surgery that took me “out of the game” for over 6 months. I thought I was missing out on all the other things normal, healthy people could do – like walk! It is so easy to start drowning in the sea of discontent. That’s when God stirred the pot of a dream that had long been squelched…to write. Since I couldn’t do much physically, God just started whispering words to me and my blog began. God literally had to take me out of the game so that He could get me right where He wanted me. His ways are soooo much higher than our ways. My writing is a blessed time being with my Father in Heaven. I realized I was not “missing out”…I was missing Him!! Thanks for a wonderfully encouraging post!
Blessings,
Bev
Thanks, Stephanie, for reminding us of what it’s so easy to forget – that where we are and what we’re doing have a purpose beyond what we can see in the immediate present. It’s always encouraging to discover we are not the only ones grappling with something. That willingness to be vulnerable and share the journey is a critical part of being in community, and helping to build community. Thanks for being part of community for me this morning.
Blessings and peace,
Em
Thanks for the reminder!
I am a new mommy as well to a two month old, so I can very much relate to this post!! I love how you pointed how feeling pretty again like “them”… I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and now have the marks to prove it! It has been rough looking in the mirror. My husband has given me a new perspective though, looking at those stretch marks as a reminder of our little love coming into the world. Looking at it this way has helped so much, and this post has helped me so much too.
God has me right where He wants me, today.. Not only that, but it is what is best for me, today! So on lonely days or when the house is completely messy and I haven’t showered all day, I will remember this post. Thank you 🙂
I so agree. Lately I’ve found myself not even going on pinterest because of the constant doubts and comparisons that come. I’m learning and trying to just live.my.life right where I am instead of comparing it to everyone else’s – if I want to be involved, I’ll invite people to join me, rather than wonder why I’m waiting and still not being invited. This life on earth is one life we have and it’s a short journey – I want to make the most out of what God has given me here and now, not what I’m expecting or hoping to come.
Your statement – “I would rather think I’m missing out at times than miss Him.” – nails it. I’m on the empty nest side of motherhood. However, my struggles are similar in that I also wonder if I’m missing out. If I should be doing some grand thing in this stage of my life. Thank you for reminding me that what I really don’t want to miss out on is a close relationship with my wonderful heavenly Father.
Stephanie, Congratulations on your beautiful miracle!!
“You would miss out on the good plan God has for your life if you were anywhere else, doing something “more important” or trying to be special.” This. I love this. The idea of “trying to be special.”
I love how he is using you right where you are {in the midst of this miracle realized} to continue to show you {and through you, us} truth about his plan for our lives.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful journey with us. Enjoy those itty bitty baby snuggles. I miss them so much.
Congratulations and thank you for your honesty…it has been a while since my two were that small, but the feelings linger in a lot of areas. How wonderful that we know the Creator of the Universe, and even more that He knows us. Thank you for the reminder to focus on Him and all that He gives us, rather than what we don’t “seem” to have… Enjoy your little one! 🙂
Hi, I just had to post a comment after reading this wonderful message. It took me back more than fifty years ago, when I looked down at my own darling daughter and the ‘scary’ thought that for the next twenty-one years I…yes me…was responsible for this tiny human being! It was such an awakening…it filled me with awe! Fast forward all the years from that date….and that dear little baby girl is now a beautiful woman…..over fifty years old! She is the mother of my five wonderful grandchildren, who are parents to my seven lovely great-grandchildren! Through all the years, it was the Lord Jesus who led me as my Good Shepherd through all the sunshine days, the dark valley days, and the beautiful life that He has placed me in. So, Stephanie (and all other young Mom’s out there), rejoice in your place in life. It is wonderful and if you keep your eye on the Master, He will carry you through, with joy, to every beautiful event in your life. God bless you all.
I burst into tears reading your comment, Mary. How beautiful and such perspective. Thank you.
Thank you for this gentle, compassionate reminder. You see, I used to be one of those ‘do everything, be everything, say ‘yes’ to everything moms (before the advent of blogs and Pinterest and Facebook, mind you). And in the three years since being diagnosed with breast cancer and trying to recover from all that brings to a life (physically, emotionally, spiritually), I definitely feel like I’m missing out. I will cling today to your words.
It’s also been three years since my diagnosis. I’m there with you.
Laura,
You are not missing out. God has a special plan for you in this trial. He may be trying to tell you to stop and smell the roses & enjoy life a bit more.
Prayers for your recovery to perfect health.
God Bless!
Thank you Stephanie.
I’m the multi like you. Ten things at the same time. Otherwise life is boring. Extreme. I’m afraid I’m missing out as well. BTW lovely flowers. I pinned them. I love pinning. For JESUS. I was an in mother. Do it yourself mum. Loved the interaction. It was fab. My own baby. I breastfed for three months then did the formula. I did not find it tiring at all. I love motherhood. Now, I have grandchildren.
The park. We did the park with other babies daily. Made new friends.
Think it’s different now. It’s the ball pit or the mall play areas. Indoor stuff. We do it with our young grandsons.
Get out and meet others with your pretty little daughter. Mothers like yourself.
I was a grandmother with other young mothers and made lots of friends. I bonded with them till now. My grandsons are twelve and ten.
Motherhood. The best. I was born to mother. 🙂
a couple weeks will mark my three-year “anniversary” of my health crash. not a journey that seems worth celebrating when i look at all the stress and pain that has accompanied it. at the same time, it is through this journey that the Lord has begun to break me free of strongholds of misplaced identity, tear down walls of pride that i didn’t even know existed, & invited me again & again to die to self so that i may experience the fulness & freedom of His life living through me.
admittedly, that one hand still reaches out so often longing for what i don’t have, but then in His tender ways like this piece, He beckons me back to Truth & reminds me that better is one day in His presence than thousands elsewhere.
thanks so much for being a conduit of His extravagant love,
tanya
Thank you so much for this post. I am in a season where I am really struggling with what my purpose here is. I always thought that being a wife and mother was part of God’s purpose for me here on Earth. Neither of those things has materialized, and I do feel like I am missing out.
Ally,
God has plans for you my dear. He may want you single a little longer to be a missionary–even locally. Remember Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord/ “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you”. “Plans to give you a hope and a future”. I cling to that verse often when I feel like I’m not where I want to be. This life on earth if to be lived for Him and His will. He has you right where you need to be now.
God Bless! 🙂
And another thank you! You always seem to say it like I’m feeling it….I have felt myself on that all too familure fence, of discontent and self pity…which just leads to a downward spiril. The enemy knows how to kick you when your down, and all it really takes is a deep breath and a new clear focus of our loving Fathers heart for us. His plan is perfect, and when we seek His grace and favor, we find it. Thanks for clearing my focus today. You are a true blessing. Thanks
I’ve been an at-home-mom for 14 years. A daughter who just entered high school and a son who just entered middle school. I’ve gotten to the point where “at-home” doesn’t seem to be enough. I feel like I need to find a new spot and I have no idea where that is.
Thank you for this! Something I grapple with far too often.
so true…thank you for this so truthful post…..it
seems as though today, even the church is all caught
up in glossy images and postings and pictures of the so
called ‘perfect’ life and we are left drooling and feeling down and
less then average….thanks for the reminder of who we really are
and ‘whose’ we really are and what true life is really all about
and where to find it..the perfect life, only that life which is hid in Christ,
which is actually dying to self and all the other glamour that this world offers,
a counterfit to the true bread of life and well of water that if we drink we will never thirst again!
Corinne
so many true and lasting promises in Him alone that satisfy alone!!!!!!!!
Stephanie,
Thanks for your honesty! I could so relate to what you are saying today! I have three children and am due with our fourth this December. Although I’m excited, there’s this part of me that is a bit hesitant, and I think it’s because of just what you are saying: I’ll be left out, left behind, at least for a season. It encouraged me to read your words, a good reminder that I am right where God has me, and I’m really not missing out on anything. Perfect. Thanks again!
I love how today’s post can be relevant for ALL of us, no matter our struggle! As someone who lives with chronic illness, this is a feeling I am all-too familiar with, and I know it will probably be a life-long challenge to overcome these feelings. Finding posts like yours is like finding little gems in the road of life. Thank you for this today! I needed the reminder! God Bless you and your new little one.
Lovely reminder today. And don’t you just love staring at cute 3-month old baby cheeks?!? Congratulations on your new mamahood!
WOW… so much what I needed to hear right now. So shallow are the thoughts when you’re tired sometimes. I need contentment in all things. Great reminder 🙂
P.S. Try TWINS with a 3 year old then talk about TIRED! LOL
I needed this so much today. Who had been my youngest graduated from high school. I thought I had heard clearly of a ministry I was to be involved in full time when my son graduated.
In the mean time a couple of events took place, events I could not predict. My husband and I in our 50’s adopted two boys who are our relatives. We never anticipated the relative asking us on two separate occasions to adopt first one and then the other boy. And we never expected God to tell us we were to say “yes” to the requests.
I was looking forward to being done home schooling, my relative freedom, and the opportunity to be involved in some outside interests I hadn’t hadn’t been able to participate (the ministry) in before in the interest of my family.
But, starting over with diapers, potty training, sleepless nights, and building up mommy muscles again, and much less time with my husband, and my friends. The stark reality of the little boys grieving for their mother, working on bonding with them and earning their trust and them being afraid of situations we don’t have the full picture to truly understand why they are afraid. That has been within the past two years.
I had been watching my friends my age have the empty nest and liking it knowing it is the next step amongst the grieving of letting go of their sons and daughters to pursue their lives where God has been preparing them to be. And I was feeling like I was missing something….
This with a 2 1/2 and a 3 1/2 year old is in some ways easier, and much harder at my age. These aren’t like my other grandchildren that I can give back after a time and then recoup. But, I love my two boys, and am waaaaaaay stretched by my two boys. I now am cultivating friends much younger than me and would probably not have had that chance before. I sense the Peaceful Presence that this post is truth in my life as well and I am doing what I am supposed to be doing with my life.
By the way, I am never on Pinterest, these two boys keep my hopping and if I am not on my toes they are into something. So even without Pinterest, a person can compare and feel like life is passing them by! 🙂
Thank you once again for this post, it is right where I know my Heavenly Father could speak to me and I could receive it.
Your post spoke to my heart as a young mother. Thank you! What a beautiful way to be encouraged today.
Stephanie omg this soo mee soo perfect… i just had my baby also well yesterda. 🙂 & everything you said flow through my heart because sometimes. Well many times i feel that way!! 🙂 God is amazing we should all embrace our royalty robes because of Jesus did we are in his good purpose. May God. Bless you & congratz..
Stephanie, I can so relate! I am a mother of three little people and there have been many a moments when I wonder if this was really the life that God intended for me. I know that we are all supposed to have a masterpiece inside of us, just waiting to come out and glorify God. But does mine really consist of runny noses, school lunches, and laundry!?! But then I remember that this part of my life is kinda brief in the scheme of things and my three little blessings just may go on to do great things for the kingdom! And just maybe my masterpiece is planned to come out later. In the meantime, I try to treasure the sweet moments, pray during the challenging ones, and trust that God knows my plan better than I do, and it is one of prosperity not harm. Not always easy, but I’m tryin! Hang in there Mama and thanks for sharing!
Kelly
I really needed this reminder today! I also have a 3 month old son, and I have been really struggling with this new role of motherhood. I am so grateful for my son, but I also miss the career that has been paused so I can stay home with him. I have caught myself lately daydreaming of all I am giving up rather than diving into this new place God has brought me. It is hard not to be resentful sometimes. Thank you for reminding me that I am right where God intends for me to be and that there are good things for me to do here.
Thank you for this post. I needed to hear this today. I think I need to be reminded of it everyday!
I have a little over 1000 emails in my inbox, and I am on several subscription lists for different sites and bloggers. I have not “felt” like opening any of them much less reading any because I’ve been too focused on “what we’re missing out on.”
My family and I have been in a transition for months now, and our income has been affected. So it’s not hard for me to sit and think about all the things that we were able to do a few moths ago, and all the things that we can’t do right now.
I home school my children, and it has been all too easy for me to sit and wonder if they are missing out on a lot of things because they are home with us all day. They are learning, we are working, but it’s just unconventional enough for me to clog my soul with thoughts of “what are we missing out on.”
Anyway, I’m glad that out of the 1000+ emails in my inbox, I opened this one!
Stephanie R
I don’t do much social media. But the comparison games go on and on in my head. Why can’t I be like so and so…etc. I have finally realized to quit comparing myself to others and try my very best to be content with ALL the goodness God has given me.
I have a good hubby, nice home, we both have decent health & good jobs. In this day and age those are good things to treasure. If I do any comparison at all-it is to remind myself once again of all that I have from God!