In all my efforts to gather them into myself, to fold them back up for keeps like a love letter in my heart, every day is a pulling away. I have 4 boys, each turning man by the spoonful of oatmeal. I nestle one completely in my arms, he pulls back and seeps the milky smile, looks around the room for his brothers.
I know that already at 8 months he aims to follow them all the way out my door. Right now they swing in the trees, high enough to give mothers heart attacks. Yesterday they ran on rusty tin and said bad words on purpose. I came undone. I lose my grip, take to heart all the verses on the Fear of the LORD. It’s the only thing that seems to crumple my fears like old grocery lists.
I have these Mother Letters, a stack of letters written by mothers who are walking along side me and who have walked this journey before me. I got them from my husband, who collected them as a way to make Christmas instead of buy it.
On Christmas morning, after dabbling a bit in the blog world, he presented me with a document over 600 pages long, letters from all over the world. Every page began with “Dear Mother,” and so began a journey to see my grand and humble position through the eyes of a great cloud of witnesses, women who are in this with me.
No mother has it figured out, all messy – hanging on to hope and reveling in the Glory.
At the time it was too much for me, all these letters. I cried and thought it too big a thing to have all these secret thoughts and intimate encouragements from mothers, the narratives of so many lives. At the time I had a newborn, a 1 year old, and a 3 year old, all BOYS. My eyes were crossed in young motherhood.
Now, down the road a little bit, I read them and swell with tears again in the common exhausted glory, the showerless beauty, the guilt-ridden works, and all the graceful releases involved in motherhood.
It’s different at every stage, and I hold these letters close to my heart. I have these pearls, words from mothers in our humble position, all of us trying to sprinkle patience in the rooms of our hearts – holding close and letting go all at once.
The amazing women of Squee! have come along side me and my husband and have worked long with us to chisel away and offer a collection of letters and photographs to you that will encourage the hearts of women in this mother journey while giving them a strong sense of recognition. We aren’t alone. Other women have missed the boat. Other women have kids screaming outside the bathroom door, and others have anchored deeply into faith so as not to be tossed out of their minds.
Mother Letters e-book is available now, a collection of letters and photos from mothers to mothers, to embolden and encourage mothers in their messy and glorious journey. If you need encouragement and know other mothers who do as well, we invite you to join us at the release of Mother Letters e-book and write your own Mother Letter, linking it with the Mother Letters Link-Up Party.Leave a Comment