Family

Adoption is Final

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My husband and I are in the process of adopting. We’ve finished our 10-week training and last week had our home study. We’re one step closer to getting our children!

I’ve learned many things during training.

  • There are 107,000 children in foster care waiting to be adopted.
  • If these children reach adulthood without having been adopted, they will undoubtedly face difficulties coping with life’s demands.
  • Like all children–orphans want love and acceptance from a family–their forever family.
  • Instead, they are bounced from foster home to foster home, many times for no fault of their own.
  • If they are matched with a family, the fear still lingers–they might be “sent back.”

Truth is… They can’t be sent back. Adoption is final.

Dear one, God wants to adopt you.

Because of his love, God had already decided to make us his own children through Jesus Christ. That was what He wanted and what pleased him, and it brings praise to God because of His wonderful grace. God gave that grace to us freely, in Christ, the One He loves (Ephesians 1:5-6).

Isn’t this wonderful news? God decided before the foundations of the earth that He wanted us to be His.

  • He chose us!
  • He chose me!
  • He chose you!

But there’s another thing I’ve learned in adoption class: Adoption is a mutual selection. That’s right. My husband and I can choose to adopt a child, but that child must also choose to be adopted by us. It’s the same with our Heavenly Father. He’s already chosen us; all we have to do is choose Him.

Have you chosen to be adopted by Him, my friend? Have you accepted His blessing of love through Jesus Christ and become His daughter? If you have, then celebrate! Your adoption is final!

  • If you have not accepted His love…
  • If you have not acknowledged at some specific moment in your life, “Yes, I choose to be adopted by you, God, through Jesus Christ’s love on the cross” …
  • If you have not made the adoption choice a mutual one…

I invite you to do so.

Once you’re part of God’s family, you will never be alone. You will never be fatherless. You will never be without His love. You will not be sent back.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39).

Dear one, take this moment to make it mutual. Say a simple, heartfelt prayer to God:

God, I’ve been fatherless. I’ve sought love and acceptance in many ways that have grieved you–my Heavenly Father. But no more! Today, I choose to be adopted by you. I choose to be your son–your daughter. I choose to be part of your large family through Jesus Christ. Today, I choose You–my one and only Heavenly Father.

Thank you that I am no longer fatherless. Thank you that I am no longer alone. Thank you for blessing me with brothers and sisters to come alongside me every step of the way. Thank you that even after I die, I will live with you forever.

Thank you for Jesus!

Love, Your new son or daughter.

Congratulations! Your adoption is final!

I hope you will join your new brothers and sisters in a Bible-believing church.

By the way, welcome to the family!

By Daphne Tarango, DaphneWrites – Comfort for the Journey

Photo by Randen Pederson

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About the Author

Daphne is a freelance writer who comforts others with the comfort she's received from God. She is excited to be a new mom through adoption.

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Comments

  1. I just wanted to leave a note to say. Your words are so breathtaking, as you get your message across. I love to meditate off of the words of your thoughts. STAY BLESSED!

  2. I love reading what you write. It’s always so encouraging. God Bless to you and your new family.

  3. Daphne, what a powerful word! Thank you for sharing your heart with us as our leader locally in the Lakeland Florida Christian Writers Group and now with all of us globally in the (in)courage family 🙂

    • Aww, thank you, Beth. It’s my joy and pleasure to share my heart with other writers and with other women. Yes, we are all part of the same family!

      Big hugs,
      Daphne

  4. Inspiring, Daphne. The children don’t know how lucky they are to have you in place as a mother to them. In time they will stand up and call you blessed. Have a lovely day and God bless you a whole bunch.

    • Thank you, Karen. I feel that I am the lucky one. They have brought so much joy to my life–even in spite of all the challenges. Thank you for your friendship and support–always!

      Hugs,
      Daphne

  6. Congrats on getting into the foster care rhelm! It is very difficult but also very rewarding. If there is a Christ centered support system in your area it would benefit you tremendously to get involved. We became foster parents last year and I will admit that it is very tough. You are taking on someone else’s cloak and carrying their baggage in your daily life. These are bags you did not pack and healing is sometimes the hardest when you are in the process of loving their wounds as safety provides the ability to do some unpacking. We are very fortunate to be in a faith based foster care agency that allows us so many opportunities to share Jesus with the children and the parents. If you ever need to chat as you are going through the daily grind of waiting, hoping and praying through the trauma please feel free to contact me! I love to meet other foster parents so that we can continue to encourage each other in this journey! Blessings!

    • Thanks for your story, Theresa.

      I agree–it is very difficult but also very rewarding. We have recently joined a support group in our area. We’re the newbies, but so far so good. Learning a lot.

      I never really thought of it as taking someone else’s cloak and carrying their baggage in our daily lives. Wow!

      Thank you so much for your encouragement and the offer to chat. We definitely need each other as we go through this journey.

      Big hugs,
      Daphne

  7. Beautiful post! And congratulations on completing the homestudy and moving into foster-adoption! That’s a big process. We have two fost/adopted girls, who have been ours for 8 years. I echo Theresa’s words: “These are bags you did not pack and healing is sometimes the hardest when you are in the process of loving their wounds as safety provides the ability to do some unpacking.” That means they’ll at times take every ounce of pain out on you. The good news: God’s got your back. The bad news? You might feel like you’ve gone crazy at times, slogging through their hurt. It may not even show up right away (one of ours began acting out 3 years later), but attachment issues sabotage every fost/adopt child to some degree. I coach parents w/adopted kids and I’d recommend Daniel Hughes’ Building Bonds of Attachment. It’s a must-read and will give you the most important tools you need to usher your child(ren) to trust again.

    • Hi, Laurie! Eight years! Congratulations to you!

      We’ve already experienced that “taking every ounce of pain out on you.” It’s been quite challenging–to say the least. But thank you for the reminder—God does have our backs.

      Thank you so much for the recommendation on the book. We will most definitely purchase it–as we need all the help we can get.

      Big hugs to you, dear one!
      Daphne

  8. Daphne , thank-you for that sweet reminder of our adoption thru Jesus. I know what it is to be Fatherless , my dad died when I was just a little girl and even then I barely knew him . Having him only about a year in my life and then he just died. I always hoped to have had a father growing up especially a father/ daughter relationship. I remember that sometime after his death , I had started visiting a church and accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour . And even though I didn’t last too long in the church and I parted ways and didn’t come back to the Father till 2005 , he has always been there with me, protecting me even from death. I am just now realizing that from the moment I accepted Jesus I had no longer been Fatherless . My adoption is final.

  9. Really needed this reminder today! Having issues with our adopted son and needed to be reminded that ADOPTION IS FINAL! Thank you.

    • I will keep you in our prayers, C. We’re having issues with the two oldest in the group. They’re not with us yet, and it might be that they won’t join the others with us. We really don’t know. But God does! And He will bring us through it.

      You too! Don’t forget that, my friend. God is with you, and He will never leave you.

      Adoption is final!

      Big hugs,
      Daphne

  10. Thank you for that reminder. I have been somewhat “unfaithful” these past 5-6 months. Each time I pray for forgiveness, but it keeps happening–the devil has found a strong hold on me in one area.

    I’m working on it and memorizing tons of scripture to fight it and claim my adoption and act like a good adopted Christian!

    • Hi, Beth:

      I will pray for you. If you do not have an accountability partner, I encourage you to find someone in whom you can confide. Accountability partners are essential to breaking free from our habits.

      I leave you with this wonderful verse: 1 Corinthians 10:13
      “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

      Stand on His word, Beth. He is with you.

      Big hugs,
      Daphne

  13. I’m also a foster parent that has adopted from difficult circumstances. But our suffering was nothing compared to His suffering on the cross. Thanks for a beautiful analogy of adoption!

    • Hi, Penelope! That is the absolute truth. Anything we go through in this world will never compare to His suffering on the cross. By the same token, even the “smallest” of sufferings is important to Him when it’s important to us.

      Blessings, dear one!

      Daphne

  14. Beautiful article! I hope many people read your article and see the love of Jesus in your words. May God bless you, your family and your inspiring work. And, kudos to incourage.me/DaySpring for including your article!