I wake to two little eyes focused on me. Little eyelashes growing long, coming to have a curl at the end. I see those eyes crinkle into the most quiet of grins, beckoning me to wake for the day. She doesn’t wake me with a cry but with a spirit-nudge. Each morning I gently open my own eyes, sure that it’s the sun and not the baby that woke me — and she’s there awake, waiting.We seem to always wake face to face, eyes focused on the future of our heart bond. She is my baby girl.

River Promise was born in October at our home to the quiet of a family waiting, longing, for a baby shaped hole in our hearts to be filled. Her name is unique, at least that is what people tell me. They don’t realize that God chose her name. That she is His promise, and had to be named as such. That after losing our first daughter, Mabel, who shone bright as a star and was knit in womb only to make her journey back to the heavens before even opening her eyes — we’d be blessed again. With a healthy baby girl. She who would represent Spirit, that proof and whole body truth that Emmanuel, indeed.

That Spirit, Living Water, flowing like a River – God chose her for this family, right now. She is the one who would fill that baby-shaped hole in our hearts, but we didn’t realize that the Mabel shaped hole would never be filled. As River grows, we miss Mabel more and more. We have three little boys who talk more about Mabel now than they have in months. And as we go through Mabel’s birthday this month – the second one since she was born {{how can it be?!}} – the bold truth is that loss is loss because it’s really lost. There is no replacement.

God’s promises are true and real and yet sometimes we mistake them for making up for something. For filling a hole in our lives. Each blessing is new and untarnished and can be received with freedom. The loss that tarnishes my heart won’t have to spread anywhere else, on any other blessing. On any other step in this life-journey. The blessing of River just is, she isn’t “because”.

If you hear God giving you a promise – do you believe it? Do you let yourself fall into the freedom of that promise?

I’d love to hear how God is fulfilling promises in your life.

***

By Arianne, from To Think Is To Create