“Mom, do you want to play with me?”
This is a question that I hear no less than one-million-gazillion times a day, give or take a few.
Right now? This very instant? It’s 8 o’clock in. the. morning. My coffee is still hot and I’ve got e-mails to check. Lists to make. Laundry to fold. Dishes to do. Play?
Now?
His brown beauties long at me. (Blink. Blink.)
“Play with me?”
It gets me every time. How can I refuse his sweet face?
I rouse, leaving the table and those details that will always be, and play with the one who will not.
“You hide. I’ll seek. 1, 2, 3……”
I race to find a decent hiding place before my speed-counting munchkin reaches 10. Quietly, I pull back the shower curtain and step in without a sound.
And wait.
In the darkness, I hide.
“Mom? Mom? Where are you?”
As I stood there, fully clothed behind that shower curtain, I realized that this was not just a game of child’s play. It was much more than that.
For I knew who was really calling out my name.
The One who is seeking me, always searching, always longing for me. Heard in the voice of a four year-old.
And here I was.
Hiding.
In the dark.
I thought about how often I find myself like this. Ashamed of how often I fail on this journey of faith—lack of patience and compassion, self-centeredness, jealousy, resentment, the list could go on…
I cower. And hide.
What good am I? How could God want me?
Use me?
And yet still, out of God’s extravagant love and compassion, God comes. Seeking until He finds. Because it is not about me. It’s not about what I do or don’t do.
Because just as I can’t earn God’s love, I can’t stop it either.
The lights flick on. Little fingers wrap themselves around the curtain and pull it open. Brown beauties as big as saucers light up with sheer delight. Pure joy abounds.
“Found you!” as he reaches in for a bear-hug. Arms wrapped tight in love.
Yes, and yes. Love finds. You ripped back the curtain and found me.
Thank you God for finding me.
For always finding me.
By: Rachel Gerber, Everything Belongs
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You expressed this so perfectly, Rachel. We are so undeserving yet He comes seeking us, finding us, loving us. Beautiful.
Awesome, just awesome!
Brought tears to my eyes. I can remember clearly the numerous times that I hid in the dark, hiding from everything –and every one– that was going on around me. Thank you for the reminder that we can be certain that even in our hiding, we will be found by the One who matters most.
Excellent word. Thank you!
My heart needed this today, thank you.
So beautifully written, Rachel. Loved the line “…just as I can’t earn God’s love, I can’t stop it either.” Thanks for these words.
I was just reading in a book by Mark Buchanan about how we feel like we need to seek God. And we never do. He never plays hide and seek with us. We are the ones hiding. And yes, He is always seeking us.
Beautiful post. 🙂
I am so thankful for a God who is always seeking me out. He will never stop pursuing me.
Rachel! It’s too bad you’re going to be out of town on July 17, because I have to give the sermon on my faith journey – and it’s pretty dang similar to yours. I’m focusing on the book of Hosea and how his wife Gomer is unfaithful, much as we are unfaithful to God. I feel like this is my life story! Hiding, seeking, hiding, seeking. Thanks for sharing.
It is such a gift to see how God speaks to us through our children! It is a joy to be on this life journey with you, our boys, and the One who continually seeks us…
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