When I weaned my daughter three and a half years ago, it was like a mutual agreement. I was done. She was done. No hurt feelings, no lamenting. This left me ill equipped for the betrayal and anguish my son expressed when I began weaning him a month ago.
The plea in his eyes, the desperation in his cry, the frantic clawing at my shirt, were almost more than I could take. My heart was being unravelled by his suffering, and everything in me wanted to abandon ship and attempt weaning another day.
And then I prayed.
I realized that this was a process of maturation and that what sustained him as a child will not sustain him as he grows. Then I came upon Psalm 131:
Lord, my heart is not proud;
My eyes are not haughty.
I don’t concern myself with matters too great
Or too awesome for me to grasp.
Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself,
Like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk.
Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me
O Israel, put your hope in the Lord-
Now and always. (Life Application Study Bible)
The strange part? As I read this passage I didn’t see my son, I saw myself. My thirst for understanding, my thirst for control, my desperation and anguish. I realized that my son was only acting out what I was feeling inside. I saw that what I really longed for was the peace that can only be obtained through surrender. This is why the writer starts his passage with humility because the maturation process in God’s plan requires being weaned from our will.
Now, when my son sees me enter the room with his bottle, there are only squeals of delight, and his anguish has been replaced by unbridled joy and gratitude. This not only gives me hope, but allows me to trust that this too shall pass and joy is awaiting my arrival.
By Samantha Banton-Smith, Holistic Health BloggerLeave a Comment