I am writing today from my chemotherapy chair.
It is 2:15 and I have been here getting my juice since 8:00 this morning, but you know what? It is a beautiful day! I met a new patient. I see him every Thursday and while here, he sits in a chair off in the corner, and sleeps. I have never spoken to him before, because he is asleep. I too have a regular chair that I enjoy sitting in, and today it was taken. This man’s regular chair was taken as well. We ended up sitting next to each other this morning, and we talked. Big surprise, I can be very talkative! I could talk to a tree if I really needed to for some reason.
He has stage IV colon cancer and chemotherapy every single Thursday! He has been having chemotherapy every single Thursday for two and a half years! There is no end in sight for him. His chemotherapy is happening in order to prolong his life. His attitude is amazing. He is young, and he still has younger children at home, so of course he is going to take all the treatment he can get. He just goes with it uncomplaining. I have learned a lesson. There is always someone worse off than you (that part I already knew 😉 ) However, there is always someone worse off than you with a better attitude about life.
How humbling for all of us.
You can look around at people and think, man they have it bad, how can they be happy? Then you spend some time with them and you learn they are happier than you are! When you first figure this out, you are getting close, because now you can start looking for true happiness. You have finally figured out you don’t have real happiness! Figuring out you have a problem is always the first step in the correct direction. Some of us go off and try the stuff, a bigger house, better car, more trips, new spouse or more things.
If you take this route you will have a longer more painful journey because none of this stuff will give you that true internal happiness that you so often find in stage IV cancer patients. Happiness comes from within, from God who is always whispering, “I love you, just the way you are. Turn to Me, please, I will wipe all the tears from your eyes, I will make you run without growing wearing, and I will satisfy the true desire of your heart, rest in ME! I alone can give you true peace and happiness.”
When in medical school, I prayed to God, “God, make me a doctor, so that I can go into the cancer wards, and find the miracles. God said, “No, my love, I have another gift in mind, instead you will have cancer, and as a patient sitting in the wards, you will see the miracles that are all around!” My prayer was answered! Not in a way I would have ever imagined or chosen, but answered nonetheless. I am seeing the miracles, and for His glory and Him willing I will be one of those miracles as well!
So today instead of being upset, depressed, or angry, I am crying for joy and the only words I can think to utter are “Thank You God for loving me!!!!”
Happy Loving and Sitting! 🙂
By Katrina Kaczmarek, Love Can Sit AnywhereLeave a Comment
God bless you for this Katrina for this. I’m rather embarrassed about how much I complain at times! Thanks for the reminder (of what my husband tells me ALL the time) that ‘there is always someone worse off than you with a better attitude about life’. 🙂
Amy Hunt says
Amen, sister – truly all is grace! Our Father knows what’s best for us, and for others, and He specifically designs our story with such purpose. You’re seeing this, and it’s your worship.
Rich blessings as you continue to lean on His purposes for you, Katrina…
E. Johnson says
Thank you Katrina for sharing this. As a fellow sufferer of a long-term illness, I can relate. There ARE always people with worse problems- and many of them are more contented and at peace than I should be. Almost a rebuke, since I’m the one who names the name of Christ. But an encouragement too, that joy and peace are so within reach, even to those who have seemingly nothing in this world, for it’s on the next world, the invisible one, that our eyes should be fixed.
Thanks for your words of encouragement.
Humbled and broken after reading this post. Continue using your gift for God’s Glory. Praying for you.
What a blessing you are. May we all be reminded of this line:
“Happiness comes from within, from God who is always whispering, “I love you, just the way you are. Turn to Me, please, I will wipe all the tears from your eyes, I will make you run without growing wearing, and I will satisfy the true desire of your heart, rest in ME! I alone can give you true peace and happiness.”
Thank you for the reminder to be thankful and grateful in all things. God is always GOOD!
May he continue to wrap you in his arms of strength and support.
I visited your blog – beautiful. I am touched by your writing and particularly this post.
I write a blog with guest bloggers called Under the Cover of Prayer. http://underthecoverofprayer.wordpress.com
I wondered if I could use this post on my blog – with a link back to your blog and to (in)courage.
Praying for God to meet you exactly where you are.
Katrina Kaczmarek says
Yes, I would love to be a guest on your blog. Send me an e-mail and we can figure it out.
Thanks so much for the prayers!
Jan Cox says
I would love to send you an email. How?
Melanie King says
Your words are absolutely beautiful and speak to me, as all your posts do. There is nothing better than feeling like the “breath of God is right here in this room….” as Natalie Grant sings about. Love you and your words….thank you!!!
Melba Ayala says
You are a blessing to so many of us. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s a reminder of how beautiful life is. We need to enjoy each day to the fullest. Praying for you. God bless you!
Thank you, Katrina; thank you for the re-direction of thoughts, today. I will pray you thru this cancer fight. You hang in there, and God be with you as you tell his story to the other patients.
Midwest Magnolia - Melissa Lewis says
I just got chills from the inside out. What a humbling and inspiring read! Thank you for sharing with us:) Praying God continues to bless you and fill you to spilling out with his presence.
Judy Layton says
Thank you Katrina for your heart piercing post. I have been spending much time looking at those giants of faith in the bible who stood strong for the Lord in unexpected circumstances and some special women of faith who have lived for Christ in unspeakable and unimaginable circumstances. (Amy Carmichael, Corrie Ten Boom, Joni Erickson Tada) Their willingness to go where God sent (sends) them and their compassion for others along with humility of heart is keeping me during a difficult period in my life looking to Jesus. I am adding you, dear one to the above list. I will be praying for you.
What an inspiring story! I love the part about being able to find others not just worse off than you but with a better attitude. Thanks for sharing and may God continue to bless you on this journey as you encourage others through it.