… I think it’s something like joy.
Some time ago, my happiness depended on
- What people thought of me
- How many people needed me
- My independence
- My appearance
- and probably hundreds of sub categories
I’m learning that I find happiness in making my eternal Father proud, walking with integrity, attempting to walk in humility, the smiles of others, in feeling healthy, and in letting someone else take care of me.
And I’m finding that how I feel is no longer manipulated by the words, actions, or comparisons of others; that I can help more by receiving help for myself; that I can rest every day and receive renewal in the Spirit of God without feeling guilty; that feeling healthy is better than feeling stylish; and that true style comes from within along with true beauty which I hope that I can find as I work through adorning my heart.
And so I’m pretty sure that’s called joy… there are about a hundred things I could refer to in scripture… and the beautiful part about it all is that the Holy Spirit fought through my stubborn heart and preconceived thoughts about what happiness was, and how I was failing at it, to show me God’s truth.
I can rest assured that I can be happy, that I can find joy without the applause or satisfaction of others. And that if I am walking in the Spirit, I don’t have to fear and I don’t have to feel guilty.
I am finding that as the path God has laid before me winds and turns, I learn new lessons and feel new feelings. And that with the pain of closing one chapter, I can look forward to the joy of the next.
I don’t have to feel guilty for turning the page, because God is doing wonders in my life…. and I have a feeling that I’m not the only one.
Thankful for His adventures.
By Micaela de Gruy, Breaking GroundLeave a Comment