I’m in the middle of my plan B. life has not went like I thought it would – had planned for. The things I grew up thinking I’d already accomplish at my age have yet to happen. My whole life I’ve wanted to be a teacher – I’ve always known that’s what I wanted to do. I majored in education, never once questioning my choice of career (I like to brag that I wasn’t part of the percentage of students who switch majors). As I began my collegiate path, in my head I had everything worked out. I’d get my degree, meet my future husband, get married, land the perfect teaching job and live happily ever after. Oh, I was naïve. Though I am finished with school, I’m not married (yet) and am currently a substitute teacher. My plans have been ripped apart and are now scattered in the wind. I recently went through a phase of even wondering if I wanted to teach anymore. I did a lot of praying and asking God for direction. I also talked with some friends and reached the conclusion that since I know teaching is what I feel God has called me to do, I can’t give up simply because things haven’t happened like I thought they would. I have this issue with waiting (as in, I don’t like it) and am trying to work on being able to trust God even though I don’t know what the outcome will look like. And if you think about it, that’s the exact definition of faith.
I feel like the past few years have been a time of God asking “will you trust Me?” I’ve had to push away the temptation to compare my life to my friends who are seemingly living the life I thought I wanted. But you can never win playing that game. We all have our own struggles and storms that we go through. Though I don’t understand why things have/haven’t happened like I imagined they would all those years ago (which makes me sound old but I’m not), I’m clinging to the promise that God is faithful. One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11: “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for” (the Message). I read an article on here a few months ago that has stuck with me. The woman was talking about how life wasn’t going like she had planned either but she had decided she wouldn’t trade any of her disappointments during this season in her life because of who she now is because of them (my paraphrase). It blew me away that she could say she wouldn’t gladly hand over the pain and frustration she’d endured for the plans she had once wanted. Yet when I think about it, I have to make that decision. Why would I want the plans I think I want when I could have God’s absolute best for me? God has a plan and I have to trust that He’s working it out as only He can. He’s not surprised or caught off guard. He doesn’t have “oh crap” moments like I do on a daily basis. He’s in control and I have to rest in the fact that He won’t let me down. Will I trust God? Some days my answer is a confident yes and then some days it may be a minute by minute decision but yes, I trust Him.
By Amber French, SnidbitsLeave a Comment
Just last evening I saw AGAIN how something that was a disappointment for me, something that hadn’t turned out as I had imagined, something I have needed to relinquish, to bring before the Lord more than once…..how it is turning out better than MY script would have allowed.
Your words, so true. God is faithful. May we have endurance to run the steps of our race as He points them out to us, trusting the outcomes to Him.
“I have this issue with waiting (as in, I don’t like it) and am trying to work on being able to trust God even though I don’t know what the outcome will look like. And if you think about it, that’s the exact definition of faith.”
Can I just say…this is exactly what I am living right now. Though our situations are very different, I am going through something and I truly do not know where God is going to lead me…I have no idea what will happen, and that is so scary. I know there will be pain along the way, but I am trusting God!
Amy Hunt says
Goodness Amber…such truth! It isn’t up to us to decide what’s best for us, and you’re so right about “faith” – it’s trusting for what we don’t see. I, too, struggle with comparing my life against others and it’s a dangerous place. So often I think “what could I missing out on?” by not trusting in God’s plan for this moment.
Holley Gerth says
Oh, girl, over six year into infertility and I can so relate. I can also honestly say that although I wouldn’t have chosen this journey, it has led me to more blessings than I could have imagined. I wouldn’t trade it fo the “happily ever after”‘I had in mind. I love that verse “better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere.” That’s redemption–knowing that with God is the very place for my heart, no matter what. Easy? No way. Worth it? Yes, ma’am. It’s been awhile since I thought about this–thanks for the beautiful reminder.
Lets see…what I want versus God’s absolute best. You’d think that would always be an easy decision but I struggle with it more than I’d like to admit. The waiting is the hardest part for me. I used to wonder if I didn’t “pray right”, asked with wrong motives, or some other fault of mine (like not being worthy of what I asked for). But I am learning that sometimes it just takes a while for God to get everything lined up. I also have seen how He has worked on the inside of me in the meantime (patience, trust etc). Holley is right, it is not easy but it is worth it . Thanks for sharing.
I like what our pastor mentioned this past Sunday about how you can still smell the fragrance of someone’s perfume after you left the room, but that doesn’t mean they haven’t left the room. Through our faith our obstacles are already obliterated and God has already provided our answer, we just have to remember that when our reality still smells like something else. Even when that scent lingers for a lot longer than we want it to. 🙂 (I know, SO MUCH easier said than done, right? 😉 )
Excellent post. I am going through this right now……in fact, I just wrote a post with my thoughts last Monday. http://aquietstrength.blogspot.com/2011/01/he-knows-my-future.html
Keep on trusting! (From one who is extremely unsure about her future too) 🙂
Amber, we have a lot in common!- I know what you mean when you say “Minute by minute days.” Isn’t it cool how JOY really does come “in the morning?”
P.S. I am praying for your chocolate fast, too. Yikes. 🙂
thanks for posting this…I, too, am living plan B…or C…or D…or maybe more like L! haha! But, truly, the more I surrender my own plans and ask Him to take over, He does it! Everytime! And though, I too, am not married and waiting on a lot of things to happen in life, I am trusting that God knows a whole lot more and has a better plan than I could ever think of on my own…and I just get to live it out for Him. He has put dreams in all of our hearts for a reason….and they will happen in ways that glorify Him and when people look at our lives, they will SEE Jesus…and I can’t do that on my own…
I wrote a similar post today – we must be on the same wavelength 🙂
Jenilee Fleetwood says
Girlfriend! Love this post. I am on my Plan B but love that God gives us permission and even invites us to hope that our dreams will still come true, even if the timing is a bit off. Trusting that he knows our hearts and desires and is working on our behalf is the hardest part. Keep on keeping on!