I am coming up on my ten-year anniversary of being a follower of Jesus Christ. What most people do not know about me is that the same anniversary marks my ten-year anniversary of being off of narcotics.
I quit getting high about a week before I surrendered my life to the Lord. In the last few months, I have found my thoughts wondering back to the day where I could escape from reality by using substances. I found myself thinking a little too fondly of those days and keeping it a secret, which scared me. A lot.
I finally spoke the words to my husband because I wanted to break the power of my secret and now I realize that I really do not want to go back to those days. They were dark days. Satan surely does have a way of romanticizing sin though and making me forget about the tears.
You see, I have scars. We all do, don’t we? Some of our scars are visible from the outside. We get used to them and they just become part of our flesh. Some of them bother the heck out of us and we try to hide them from others. Some of those scars are unseen. They are the scars on our hearts. They are the scars we can battle on our own, or we can reach out and ask for help.
As a teenager, I was lonely, insecure, and very unsure of my value as a person. I didn’t know how to deal with those insecurities so I turned to the ways of the world to help me cope. In doing so, I dashed my little heart up even more.
In July of 2001, God revealed Himself to me in a mighty and powerful way. He offered me forgiveness and allowed me to see that although I was a very wounded and sinful human being, He still loved me more than I ever could have imagined and He wanted to do good things in my life. He wanted to do miracles in my life. God’s love has healed those scars so much, that most of the time I don’t even notice they are there anymore. I forget about them. Some times I catch a glimpse of them. I remember them and all the ugliness that surrounds their stories. And sometimes, I get new wounds.
The difference now though is that when the storms of life come, when I turn to my father in Heaven, I don’t feel the need to escape from reality. God’s love gives me strength and a confidence that I never could have imagined. He gives me the will and the desire to keep on going. He reminds me that He loves me with a love that is so huge and so encompassing that I don’t need to get high when everything around me seems to be spinning out of control. He gives me peace.
I am so thankful for the ways my father loves me. I am so thankful for the ways He is healing me and transforming me. I am so thankful for His spirit that is always with me and I am never alone.
Will you let Him heal your wounds, transform your life, and help you to handle even the hardest of days with a peace and joy that no drug could ever offer? I promise you, it will be the best decision you ever make in your life.
By Mindy Carlettini, Very Unfinished Product
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Barbie says
What a beautiful testimony!
Mindy Carlettini says
Thank you Barbie!
trish says
You are beautful ! Loveyou
Mindy Carlettini says
Thank you Trish!
Beth West says
I praise Him for your precious testimony and for you.
Mindy Carlettini says
Thank you very much Beth!
Suzann says
I am blessed to have read your testimony. I am without words to express how this has touched me. Thank you.
Mindy Carlettini says
Thank you so much Suzanne, I am glad you were blessed!
Sunny says
What a lovely testimony. Congratulation to you and praise God for a life transformed.
Living that transformed life is your Gift back to God.
Beautiful you.
Mindy Carlettini says
Thank you Sunny!
Lacey says
I actually just subscribed to this email a couple days ago!!!
Mindy Carlettini says
Yay!
Beth Werner Lee says
Bless you, what a beautiful post. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Thank you for courageous honest writing. Yes we all have scars…”we will move on, although with scars, so Lord move inside of me”-Rich Mullens
Mindy Carlettini says
Thank you Beth!
Leah says
I love your story. What stays in the dark grows bigger, secrets revealed allow for God’s healing. I have my own miracle story where God showed himself to me in a mighty way. He is so good. Praise God for your life and beautiful post.
Mindy Carlettini says
Amen Leah! Thank you!
Megan says
Thanks Mindy. God used your writing to remind me of the dangers of romanticizing the past, wanting to escape from reality and keeping it a secret. I’ve eroded my relationship with God by not believing in His love and goodness, & I’ve eroded my relationship with my husband by not sharing my struggles with him. I’m going to talk to my husband and pray.
I’ll be praying for you & your husband. Have a happy ’10th anniversary’
Mindy Carlettini says
Megan, That makes me so happy. That is what sharing our hearts is all about. I am so thankful that God used this writing to remind you of his truths! I am praying that your talk with your husband goes well.
nancy says
I felt the Holy spirit prompting me tp create a blog called courage. I googled andthere you were. Bless you! I have loved The Lord with my whole heart for 27 years. My struggles from the death of my husband cause me to not trust anymore. Praise God for your blog. It reminds me who I am in Christ!
Mindy Carlettini says
Oh Nancy, I am so sorry that your husband passed. Pain is such a hard thing to understand. I’m thankful that I don’t have to understand everything about why things happen to know that I can trust our Father. You know? He’s good Nancy, I’m saying a prayer for you right now.
Doris says
Wow…Mindy…you know, we *do* all have our scars, including me…and I’ve only been REALLY walking strong with the Lord for a few months now…and there you are celebrating 10 beautiful years of knowing Him – it just gives me chills, and your testimony gives me such hope that someday my sins and my scars will not matter to me {at least much less than they do now}, and I will simply be content in Him. I’m getting there, and you’ve given me even more hope.
Mindy Carlettini says
Oh Doris, it’s definitely a journey. Sometimes my words and desires don’t always play out, but I can definitely tell you that many of the scars I though would never heal no longer bring me any pain at all. Be graceful with yourself, God will continue to make you whole. YAY for you and your new life in Christ!! That is soo exciting! I’m thankful for you!
Amy Sullivan says
Mindy,
How very brave of you to share your story. Yes, we all have scars. You have reminded me of the scars I choose to hide. Beautifully written.
Mindy Carlettini says
Amy, I have found so much healing in letting the entirety of me be known. Thank you for your encouragement. Saying a prayer for you right now.
molly says
Very good sharing dear sister. May you be blessed to be a strong vessel in HIS Mighty Hand for many especially youth in these times when the world seems upside down. Let His Glory fill you in a Mighty way for His Name
Mindy Carlettini says
Thank you so much Molly!
I Live in an Antbed says
This is such a beautiful testimony! I am so thankful that in Christ you are free, indeed!!! Congratulations on a huge milestone! May He continue to fill you with Himself.