There’s a quote I have loved since high school,
“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?”
– Rumi
I use to write it across notebooks and under my name marked with a lovely little heart with wings. You can even find it under my senior picture in my yearbook. I held fast to it, because it spoke the words I longed to be. Free.
There were times I’d walk the halls in high school holding my breath without even realizing what I was doing. On the outside people saw perfection. Many times I had classmates tell me that I had the perfect life, the perfect grades, the perfect friends, the perfect family and on and on. I’d smile and leave it at that.
But on the inside part of me always felt I was dying. I was so bound in seeking approval, in being the best, in showing myself worthy that I built a wall around me. A wall that not only protected me, but caged me in. By the appearance of things, I was flying but within only I knew how desperate I was. I barely crawled when I longed to fly.
To be free was my greatest wish and desire. To stand on a rocky cliff with my arms spread wide, uninhibited, breathing the freshness that is freedom…soaking it in.
Sometimes I wonder if people think I’m weird the way I talk about freedom. I lull over it, muse upon it, and stare at it as if it were a sunset.
I read the words “It was for freedom that Christ set you free,” and my heart sings. I love those words.
I have known freedom.
I walked the aisle when I was 8-years-old and accepted Jesus in my heart. I was freed from death and hell, but it wasn’t until many years later I tasted a different kind of freedom. A freedom that broke the layers of my imprisonment to trust and hope…to live.
I met Jesus in a new way. I met him in the shadows of my heart. In the tiny bit of light amidst the darkness. He pulled me out of the wreckage that was my own despair, from the rejection I’d been blown and held onto, and the hatred I dealt myself.
He saved me.
He covered me with his love, binded up my wounds, and healed my heart. He spoke gently to me as he called me out, extending his worn hand of strength and protection. He broke through the layers of self-protection I’d built and released me. In sheltering me under the shadow of his wings (Psalm 17:8), he gave me life.
That’s why freedom is so important to me. That’s why I hold to it so dearly, because I know what it’s like to be the caged bird who longs to sing. I know what it’s like to live barely breathing. I know what it’s like to wear a mask, living a facade wondering when someone’s going to find out.
I have been bound and broken by fear, self-hatred, anger, and shame. I have been thrown and beaten. I have been shattered.
But I have been set free and it is glorious.
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”
Galatians 5:1
How have you been set free?
By Jess, Reflections of a Princess
Leave a Comment
Bekah says
Wow. I’m pretty sure much of this post was written about my heart as well. Desiring freedom. Desiring freedom from self-built walls of perfection… needed approval. THANKFULLY, in the past week or so, God has provided that freedom. And now the process of working back through those years of pain in order to move on into the future finding my wholeness and identity in Christ. Thank you for sharing!
Jessica says
Good for you! The pain is hard, but sometimes opening those doors is the best way to walk free.
Holley Gerth says
At Bible study last night they played the old Amy Grant song, “I’m gonna fly” and now I’ve got it stuck in my head again! Keep soaring, girl, and thanks for encouraging us to do the same!
Jessica says
That was one of my favorite songs growing up! I haven’t thought about it in a long time. Thanks for the reminder!
Stephanie says
WOW, I totally seen myself in this. 14 years ago, I gave my heart to Jesus….and I know it was true. But only in the past few months, have I really, totally, completely fallen IN LOVE with JESUS! What a difference in my life!!
Loved this…thank you for sharing!!
allison morrison says
Oh the feeling of being free…completely FREE in Him! There’s nothing like it, but I must confess at times I forget. Thank you for the reminder. Life closes in and I find myself drawn back into fear, anxiety…but I am beyond all that because of Him…
Kim Galgano says
Thank you for this! I fly between freedom and the cage.
Today was a cage day.
But your words helped lift my wire gate. Hope to fly by you someday while the sun’s setting 🙂
Shay Newland says
beautifully written…that is the desire of my heart, too, to be more free…thanks for sharing your heart!
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