Sometimes I go overboard. Sometimes I have the most amazing idea and the best plan EVER, and I throw myself into the planning and the details and the making it perfect. As you may know, Christmas is the perfect opportunity for this kind of foolishness.
I say “foolishness,” not because my ideas and plans aren’t great. (Because, you know, they ARE.) But this foolish tendency of mine always leads to stress and expectations and disappointment.
Always.
Going overboard is never more tempting than Christmastime. I love figuring out exactly what kind of gift will delight each person the most. Honestly, I feel like a failure if at least one person doesn’t consider my gift the best one of the season.
Like I said – overboard. And foolish.
As I was making my Christmas list a few days ago, preparing for the shopping extravaganza that will happen as soon as we a) find a babysitter and b) find extra money after paying the bills, I remembered something.
I remembered a Christmas several years ago – half my lifetime ago, actually – when my friends and I decided to make each other presents. We were in high school, but most of us were too busy with sports and drama and music to put in many hours at a part-time job. Still, we wanted to give each other something special.
We agreed on handmade gifts for everyone.
A decade and a half later, I don’t remember what everyone gave me. I do still have a hand-painted flower pot and small photo album with my nickname puff-painted on it. My best friend told me she still has the glass bottle of potpourri that I gave her, but the hot chocolate mix another friend made for us is long gone.
What I remember most is how proud of our gifts we were, how pleased we were to see the creative fruits of each others’ labors, and how much fun we had putting the whole thing together. I’m pretty sure the giggles and high-pitched screams of “Cute!!” reached an all-time high that night we exchanged our gifts.
Knowing myself, I imagine I probably stressed out about making those bottles of potpourri. (I have a vague recollection of insisting that the ribbon around the lid had to perfectly match the dried roses!) But thankfully, those memories have faded.
What remains clear as the day it happened, though, is the love and care that went into each person’s creations. That photo album had MY name on it! The painted pot did, too! Each gift was special, and as they have traveled with me over the years – either physically or in my memory – they’ve been sweet reminders of those friendships.
I’m not 16 anymore, and life isn’t quite as simple as it was back then. And it’s quite possible that some of the people on my list would be less than ecstatic to receive a small bottle of potpourri for Christmas.
But while it’s impossible to go back to that time (And, really, who would want to? Remember acne? And school dances?), it’s totally doable to regain that holiday innocence and enjoy it like a child. This year, instead of elaborate plans and amazing ideas, I’m focusing on a few more handmade gifts, less-than-perfect photos, relaxed and casual dinners, and moments we can actually enjoy and remember for another 16 years.
After all, I think going overboard just might be over-rated.
Leave a Comment
Jessica Brammer says
Thanks for the encouragement. I have been really trying to fight the idea of planning things to be perfect. I have been trying to let go of expectations and focus on the real meaning of things, but it is a hard habit to break!
Lori Danelle says
Great post!!
I am the Queen of Over-doing it. Ask my family. I plan these very elaborate birthday parties for my 2 & 3 year old daughters that thus far, they probably won’t remember. All my planning & expectations came into question a week before my oldest daughter’s 3rd birthday party when we attended her best friend’s party . . .at a bounce house.
It was amazing. The kids had a BLAST! Forget that, I had a blast. It wasn’t the prettiest party we’ve been to. The decorations certainly won’t be featured on any blogs anytime in the near future, but still. It is the party against which we compare all other parties. 🙂
It was the best party we’ve been to thus far, including the ones held at our house were everything was yellow including the decorations, attire and even the food or the princess party where each little guest left in handmade princess attire (even though I have a fairly demanding full-time job on top of my family obligations).
My immediate family has come to expect such things from me whereas my extended family sort of just shakes their head at me.
But that bounce house party made me question why I do it. For the girls? or for me? or more specifically, for the accolades I think I will get from it? Do I stress myself out so much over tulle and color coordinated pom-poms that I don’t enjoy what really does matter: My girls, family & the time we have together?
Yes, Christmas time is especially susceptible to this sort of thinking. I want to create that magical wonderland I remember as a child. But if I’m honest in my recollection, the magic of the season wasn’t because of any elaborate design on the part of my mother. She did the best a young family can and as with most people, our Christmas collection grew over time to what it is today and was actually pretty scant as a young child.
The magic was present simply because it was Christmas time AND I was a young child.
I want to do my part to make Christmas special for my family. BUT I want to be free to enjoy it, not stressed out to the max over what I need/ want to do.
I Live in an Antbed says
This is so very sweet! And I think you are absolutely right! I should simply refuse to give a gift just to give a gift. I want each of the gifts I give to truly tell people that they are loved. And many times, those gifts don’t cost much at all, because the biggest part of the gift is my heart.
Wanda says
It is fun….to give with your heart and not just your wallet!
Galen Pearl says
I decided this Christmas that what I wanted was not more stuff (given or received), but more time.
First, more time with God. Time to read His Word, time to pray, time to listen. Time to just hang out with God.
Second, more time with family and friends. Peaceful, fun time. Not hectic how-many-holiday-parties-can-I-go-to time.
Third, more time with myself. Time up at our cabin away from phones, TV, internet. Time to walk in the snow. To sit by the creek.
So thank you for the reminder and the permission to not try to keep up. As the carol goes “Rejoice.” Not “new toys” which is how my daughter heard the words when she was 5!!
Jenny @ The Southern Institute says
I love this! I’m making a few handmade gifts this year. Thanks for sharing these memories, it’s a great reminder that many dollars do not have to be spent in order for a gift to be memorable!
Smells like teen {Christmas} spirit — Giving Up on Perfect says
[…] To read the rest of my story, please visit (in)courage. […]
Living the Balanced Life says
I can so relate! I am preparing for a Christmas party this evening! I have never had people over from this new church we started attending this year, and I am a little stressed about it, howver, I am a whole lot better than I usually am! I am determined to make this a relaxed peaceful gathering! No frills, fo fancy, just fellowhip and fun! And we are all sharing in the food so I don’t have much to do for that part!
Bernice
http://livingthebalancedlife.com/2010/the-walking-wounded/
Jill says
Mary, I LOVED this post! Thank you for the sweet reminder, and have a WONDERFUL Christmas time! :0)
Becky K. says
Mary, I share your struggle and I absolutely agree with your reflection and reolsution. Simple really IS better.
One thing that helps me is to ask myself:
“Will my kids remember that expensive toy or the stressed out mommy it took to buy it?”
“Will my husband be blessed by a perfectly-decorated house and elaborate Christmas dinner, or will he relish a calm and peaceful wife to enjoy the true meaning of Christmas with?”
I think we both know the answer.
Merry Christmas-Gift-Making!
Holley Gerth says
Despite my lack of craftiness, I remember making candles (candles! what was I thinking?) for my friends as a teenager. You’re right–there’s something about using your creative energy that just adds a little extra love. I just made a present on shutterfly and although I hyperventilated (yes, I did) it’s also my favorite present that I’m giving. And, you, Mary–I still have the little box you made and gave to me. I put jewelry in it and think of you with a smile every time! XOXO
Bonnie Gray says
Oh, Mary.. I liked the words “Relaxed” and “casual”. That’s a good way to describe my craft-challenged gifts. My preschooler son has really encouraged me here. I really enjoy his imperfectly-perfect gifts so much, I decided to take my own advice. Just have fun and make something personal. It kinda shortens my gift giving list, though, ‘cuz I think only certain friends would enjoy them. 😉
A Homemade Christmas « Hope Scribbles says
[…] Doing Christmas Like a Teenager […]