I told my friend, “Its like there are a thousand tiny specks all cluttering my vision.”
I don’t think I stopped to consider the spiritual significance.
Lately life has been a whirl of activity and feelings of inadequacy.
From the house that simply won’t be clean,
the school year that didn’t begin the way I wanted,
the summer cold we all caught and can’t seem to get over,
and that one big fight my husband and I had.
I have felt behind on everything.
Worried about everything.
Consumed by everything.
Knowing as I plow through all of it,
that there is just one of me,
and that won’t be enough.
“DON’T MOVE” I say firmly.
My four year old is screaming hysterically and clutching at a spiral-bound writing pad
which appears to be inexplicably attached to his eye.
Upon closer examination I can see that he has somehow
managed to jab the metal binding of this blue college-ruled notebook
inside his lower eyelid.
Panic begins to wash over me like a flood.
“Oh Lord HELP, my phone isn’t working!”
“Oh NO…I don’t have a car today—-what if we need to go to the emergency room??”
“WHAT IF THIS RUINS HIS SIGHT FOR LIFE?”
I am standing still in horror and helplessness
when I feel Heavenly calm pour into my heart.
I hear myself tell my sobbing son,
“BE COMPLETELY STILL—-Jesus is going to help us fix this”
and in a split second its as though the Holy Spirit completely takes over.
Suddenly, I am as calm in my mind as any still water that ever ran deep.
I am lab coat confident, and analyzing medically like I do this every day.
I realize that the wire HAS to come out NOW,
there is no way I can leave it in without risking further injury.
I also realize how precarious the situation is……
I cannot allow the metal point to redirect around to come in contact with his eye.
I don’t hesitate.
While his small hands steadied the notebook
(and how he managed this was a miracle in itself),
I gently twist out the three-quarters of an inch of curled metal
that is gnarled inside his lower lid.
That wire looked like the most horrific thing imaginable working its way back to the surface
—-but there was no blood, no cut, and no pain.
The aftermath was simply a very watery eye, with a swollen lower lid
–which only lasted for an hour or so–and a very sad little boy.
Right now that little boy lies fast asleep, as though nothing ever happened.
(although he IS insisting we toss out all of the spiral bound notebooks…)
I think about how so many things in my life seem to dart out at me….unexpected snares.
Quick and sharp they dash visions to the ground
and seem to alter everything in one moment of my unbelief.
I feel the Lord changing me in this season.
Showing me what He intends for me,
and being faithful to smash the old away with the skilled hands of the Perfect Potter.
Pruning that which keeps me from growing: The Steadfast Husbandman of the Vineyard
He gives me the ability to do that which I never thought I could do.
HE is my confident hands in a crisis.
He holds me when I shake later and have a good cry in the bathroom.
HE is the hand that turns my cheek for me, when I just can’t.
He is the truth of love I see later when I look in the mirror.
He removes the speck from my eye.
He removes the speck from my eye.
He removes the speck from my eye.
My father, Yahweh; He is ENOUGH.
by Sara SophiaLeave a Comment
Holley Gerth says
Sara Sophia, girl, meeting you in person at Relevant was so wonderful. I’m so glad your powerful words are here with us today and seeing your lovely face at the bottom of the post started my day with a smile.
Robin ~ PENSIEVE says
Sara Sophia!!! Early this morning (when it was very stormy!), I read Kristen’s post here and was getting ready to read the guest poster of the day (not knowing it was YOU) but a child needed me and I was off to see about his concern and left my laptop…and forgot to come back here.
And then I see Lisa-Jo’s tweet, and I read your painful-at-times (and for many reasons) post, and my breath is stolen in moments. Oh, how grateful I am your hand was steadied and grace-filled at precisely the moment it needed to be; and that this ended up being a learning lesson you’d never ask for.
Beautiful words from a lovely deliverer.
Sara – I can not even tell you how this post has touched me today. I have had these same anxious feelings over the last few weeks – the questioning, the doubting my abilities – and then the mid-September eye injury of my 5-year old at school. He took a bungee cord to the eye while on the playground. Thankfully, God spared him from the hook end, and just the back portion hit his lower eye lid where it then did damage to the eyeball itself. Somehow, in the midst of my own extreme panic, the Holy Spirit filled me with the calm to drive to the pediatrician’s, then to the ER without wrecking my car or being totally hysterical in front of my son. He has filled me with hope when I doubted the healing of his eye. He has comforted me when I experienced anger with the school for their negligence. He has filled me with patience as we waited for the eye to heal and while my son spent TWO weeks at home recovering! God has helped me accomplish MANY things that I never thought I could be capable of…..He is DEFINITELY enough! Thanks for these words today!
A whirlwind here, too, the last week-and-a-half, it seems, and what you say is completely correct. Thanks for honesty!
This takes my breath away. So wonderful the Spirit had His hand on your hand and His heart on yours.
Glenda Goodwin says
Thank you for this powerful testimony to the power of God in our everyday lives. It brings to mind John Waller’s song, “Identity.” You are Love, so I am love. You are Joy, and so I am joy. You are Peace, so I am peace. Lord everything you are now becomes me…..I’m in You, I know who I am……I’m not the one I used to be ’cause now there is no separating You from who I am. You are Strong, so I am strong. You are Power and so I am powerful. You are Mercy, so I am mercy….anything else is not who we are. “
Oh my goodness! How terrifying that must have been to see. I am so glad no long-lasting damage was done.
This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing it. So lovely.
How often, I wonder, does my Father say to me, “THIS has to come out NOW”? And how often do I cringe in fear of worse pain or shame of having gotten into this place instead of holding still and trusting Him to fix it before it gets any worse?
Too often. Thanks for showing me one of my specks.
Kelly Burton says
I could feel both the panic and calm in this beautiful post. Thank you for sharing…and know you are not alone in feeling this way! May we all be so guided by God in times like this!
PS: Stupid spirals!
I Live in an Antbed says
So thankful your little one is okay. I understand that feeling of panic in the face of “accidents”. Our second child needed stitches three times before she turned two years old. Between all seven children, I don’t know how many emergency room visits, stitches, broken bones, near misses we have been through. I still carry butterfly bandages in my wallet even though that second born child is now 20.
The Lord is so very faithful to provide everything we need at the exact moment we need it! I am extremely grateful for His Provision and Protection.
Jen Ferguson says
This is a really amazing post — it touched me in many ways and sent some much needed confirmation my way.
Jennifer Hudson » Blogs are for community says
[…] While you are there – you must read “Speck” – ewww, owww, ouch, wow. You just have to read […]