I’ve been noticing more and more of late that the stories I learned in Sunday School, while clutching my cup of goldfish crackers and staring at the blue felt board, have taken on entirely different meanings in my adulthood. Noah and his family stuck on the arc for 40 days? I can only imagine the smell, the tension, the dread, the claustrophobia. Baby Moses in a basket floating down the river? I literally weep for what his mother must have felt. Ruth taking a vow to follow her mother-in-law through life even after the man they both loved had died? Well, perhaps we’ll leave that one alone.
The prodigal son is one of those Bible stories that long ago became an archetype even outside of Biblical learning. Current slang definitions equate the concept to a person who spends money wastefully and lavishly. Looking at the Bible story (Luke 15:11-32) and at personal reconnaissance, I’d say that’s a pretty accurate fit; most prodigals squander everything they have, especially their chances and their relationships.
I was a prodigal, one who ran from truth and tried to find a way of life that was more palatable for the desires of my early 20s. After many failures, humiliations, warnings, burned bridges, and episodes in the proverbial pig pen, I found my way back home.
Currently, I am the stepmom of a prodigal… a worried, hand-wringing, angry, second-guessing, heartbroken parent to a young man who is wandering the world lost and wasting his riches. After seven years of raising him alongside my husband and my stepson’s mother, I am now navigating the same territory my parents did not so many years ago.
Mention “prodigal” in a churchlike setting and you’ll see some nodding heads. Mention it among my “church clan,” that which mainly exists in the nomadic world of Southern Gospel artists, and you’ll hear a few manly voices reciting song lyrics, as there are several songs which chronicle the plight of the prodigal. There is even one that is written from the perspective of the prodigal’s dad.
That song has been a great source of meditation and solace for my husband during these months. And while I appreciate its message, it has led me to a question: What about the prodigal’s mom? Where was she when her baby boy walked out the door? What was she thinking, feeling, praying, and ranting about while he was blowing his inheritance? And my real pondering of late, as I begin to see a light at the end of this tunnel, is how did she respond when her boy came home?
Did she meet him on the road alongside her husband?
Did she wait until after the big welcome home bash to embrace him privately, to talk and weep together?
Did she sit in the kitchen alongside her eldest son and sulk with him, resentful that her husband was so forgiving of this foolish child who caused them so much stress?
Did she defrost slowly, choosing to forgive her son and welcome him home, but doing so with a guarded tenderness and slow trust?
Of course, like many stories in the Bible, we have none of these answers, just the model provided through the prodigal’s dad. He did not seem to stop and weigh the sensibility of running to meet his son. I believe perhaps he saved some questions and admonishments for later, but upon seeing his boy back at home – willfully, remorsefully – he accepted him with all his heart. As God did for us.
As I will do for my prodigal, when he returns.
By Kelly Burton, My Life As The Glue
Leave a Comment
lynne says
This post resonates with me at the moment, as the mother of an almost 21 year old who left home 20 months ago in a blaze of glory and has now decided she is coming home.
I have mixed feelings. Half of me is happy she is coming home, where I can see for myself how she is. The other half has become very used to the absence of squabbles and moods and tensions and is dreading their return.
Kelly Burton says
Lynne, this is how I feel every time J comes over for dinner. I miss having a son in the house, I miss my girls having their brother, but I don’t miss the walking-on-eggshells-tension…and honestly, I’m still mad at him. I pray your daughter’s homecoming is not a blaze of anything, but a time of peace!
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patsy says
My family and I serve in a prison ministry where we’ve met many prodigal sons. It’s easier to understand the story when we know that some of these men are rapists, murderers, drug dealers, etc, and because we know them and they tell us their stories, and we can be friends with them, how much more can a father love, forgive, run to his son, even if this son insulted him by asking for his inheritance when the father was still alive!
Kelly Burton says
What a service you give through your friendship to them… God bless you!
Marilyn says
You’ve reminded me to pray for prodigals today….and to walk through the world with a welcome home on me. Sometimes other issues want to jump ahead of the welcome, but the example of the father in the story comes back around to remind me. Open arms first.
Kelly Burton says
“Open arms first.”
That is wisdom, and I try to cling to it! Thank you!
Stacey says
God does not waste any lesson learned. When he comes home, you will have a heart that understands!
May God bless you!
Kelly Burton says
This comment….just made me cry. Thanks, Stacey.
@ngie says
What you said about the Sunday School stories looking different now that we are grown up is so true. Thank you for taking us into the story as a real life mother.
Kelly Burton says
My Sunday School class is currently going through ‘traditional’ SS stories now. Jonah & Zaccheus make for interesting adult discussion 🙂 Thanks so much!
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Holley Gerth says
I’m so glad you shared about this from a mom’s perspective! Beautiful, insightful, challenging and real. Thank you!
Kelly Burton says
Thank YOU for responding!
sarah valente says
My little brother is a prodigal. Thank you for this post:)
Kelly Burton says
Prayer sent. (PS: SO happy I ‘met’ you this week!)
Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama says
This post blesses me every time I read it. We have a prodigal sister and it took two long years for her to return and even then – nothing is ever the same and their are deep aches that only her mother truly feels I think.
Thank you for your honest, encouraging words. I believe they will speak to many.
Kelly Burton says
Thank YOU for reading, responding, accepting, identifying. All of it – the chance to write this message. the chance to share it, has come at the right time. God bless you & incourage!
kim says
just beautiful. thanks for the perspective. love digging into stories like this that we’ve heard over and over and checking it from a different view.
kim davis
http://www.yellowsongbird.blogspot.com
Kelly Burton says
Thanks so much! ~ Me too!
Mary Joy @ Seeds of Encouragement Sewn with Grace says
Wow…thank you so much for opening your heart and your struggles with us here. This is a very, very thought provoking post. I never really thought about what the mama in the story of the prodigal son was doing or thinking…hmmmm…what an interesting this to think about. I want you to know that I am now praying for you and your situation with your prodigal son. What you are going through sounds very painful. It sounds like God is really working on your heart right now as you are going through this. I will be praying for your son as well and the rest of your family as they deal with the pain of these difficult times. I will pray for healing of his heart and that God will draw him close to him and speak to his heart…I will also pray for the healing of you and your husband and daughter’s hearts. Only God can help us deal with things like this. You will never know how much what you shared means to me. God bless you!!!
Kelly Burton says
Even just reading the responses today, I know there are more lessons that God wants us to get from this. Thank you for your encouraging words! God bless you…
Erin says
I was a prodigal daughter. When I came home at 21 and a pregnant, college drop out, my mother and my father welcomed me with open arms. There were some rough stages of healing that we all went through but God totally restored our relationships.
Because that’s what God does. He restores. And He redeems.
Kelly Burton says
Amen and amen.
Sounds like your parents are as great as mine!
Suzie says
God bless you for your transparency and willingness to make yourself vulnerable.
Kelly Burton says
Thank you, Suzie!
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Happy Mom says
I, too, am the mother of a prodigal. It’s been excrutiating, seeing him make choices that will only lead to misery.
But… he seems to be coming back… we’re still very cautious and he’s still too ashamed to communicate regularly with us… but all of the current signs point to more joy on the way!
I think I’m a pretty typical prodigal mom. My only feelings are ones of joy and hope and love and acceptance, and gratitude. (And occasionally I have to squeel right out loud!)
Truly, God’s promises are sure!!! And that’s a beautiful thing!
Kelly Burton says
I think I’m a pretty typical prodigal mom. My only feelings are ones of joy and hope and love and acceptance, and gratitude. (And occasionally I have to squeel right out loud!)
Wow. If you are typical, then I guess every prodigal mom I have known is atypical! I know that I and friends of mine – and my own mom at the time – struggle with guilt, anger, remorse, and generally, just stress! Of course there is love and hope… it is just mixed in with the other things. That is a struggle. I am happy for the peace and joy you have! ~ May your son return safe & soon!
Tammy Birkner says
as the mother of 2 prodigals (and 2 younger siblings still at home), I reassure myself daily “that the GOOD thing about a prodigal is that they KNOW the way home”. Even though they CHOSE not to follow the pathway of our Lord, RIGHT NOW, they WILL someday return home. I look for ways to connect with them, reach out to them, love them, etc. in spite of their rebellion. Just last week I had the opportunity to pray with my oldest son TWICE and have several heart-to-hearts over a job loss which was not his fault but a surprise and quite painful when you’re not serving God and living under His umbrella of blessings. We must hold each other and our prodigals up in prayer – – what a REVIVAL that would be for them to all return home…. talk about a PARTY!!!
Kelly Burton says
what a REVIVAL that would be for them to all return home…. talk about a PARTY!!!
I relayed this thought to my husband and our friends tonight and could barely get the words out. What a thought! What a hope! May it be so someday!
Thank you, my friend!
Gina says
I too am the mom to a prodigal child and have also wondered about the mother in the story. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Kelly Burton says
Thank you, Gina…may yours come home soon!
Jeri @godsdreamsforme says
We have a very loved and prayed for prodigal son, our second is teetering. We’re reading Stormie Omartian’s Power of Praying for Your Adult Children. It’s so helpful.
What made it harder in the beginning years was having had raised them in Christ, hubby was a worship leader, I was his assistant and we had a contemporary christian band – Everything just wonderful and then it started.
Today, it’s still hard, but we have so much more faith in what God’s is working in their lives. Our oldest will reach people we will never be able to reach when he returns to his first love. He still asks for prayer. Our second is already touching people and doesn’t even realize it.
My hubby and I – we ache, pray, have new adventures, almost empty nesters, loved by God, and filled with His promises.
I’m so glad you wrote this. It has helped me and I’m sure will help so many.
Kelly Burton says
Your comment really resonates. We, too, are a family in ministry, although that wasn’t always so. I often look and wonder why one child seemed to glean from all our mistakes and the other (my stepdaughter) seemed to learn from what we did right. What a dirty trick! 🙂
Our oldest will reach people we will never be able to reach when he returns to his first love.
Amen and amen. I know this is true for both my husband and me, former prodigals, but I wish our son could have learned this without going through the slop….
Please keep in touch. And be blessed!
Joyce Lefkowitz says
I feel the pain as well, being the grandparents of your prodigal son, tears are flowing down my cheeks but there is never a night that goes by & a lot of days I pray for him, to come home and be able to know the joy of salvation in his life again, we as grandparents will never stop praying for a miracle, we suffer right along with you guys as parents & praying for peace to enter into his heart.
With all our love.
Larry & Joyce Lefkowitz
Kelly your wonderful, what a beautiful story & so real.
Traci says
Beautiful words! Thank you! 🙂
Nancy says
Hand-wringing, angry, second-guessing–how do we as parents avoid falling into those traps, those accusations from the enemy? Whether our kids are simply testing limits or pursuing full-blown rebellion, it is grace, the work of God’s Spirit that ultimately leads them home. So encouraging to read these posts, these triumphs of God’s grace. They give hope.
John Eddy says
Please pray for my “son” Michael. I’m actually more like a mentor to him. His mom is my friend, but the boy sees me as dad and is a wonderful boy. He occasionally lives with me when he has problems at home. While with me, he does a wonderful job, follows rules, and simply does as he is told. He lived with me the entire summer and did great, but two weeks after going home, he is out doing wrong again.
He does not get the guidance he needs at home, his mother knows he does great with me, but will not let him stay with me again, unless the boy chooses to, but he will not come on his own. He typically has to get into troubel before he returns to my home. It’s like night and day, great at my place, but bad and wrong at his home. He’s my prodigal “son” and I am praying for him daily. Heart breaking to see such an intelligent boy be brought down by negative influences.
I’m in touch with him, but he’s still up to doing his own thing with little or no consequences from his mother, so he continues to do wrong. He says he no longer believes in God. Please pray or his eyes to open and return to Christ.
Thank you in advance for your prayers!
Kelly Burton says
For those who might be in the midst of this season, or those sweet people who took an interest in my story, I wanted to give you our very current follow up, and tell you that my heart for you & your prodigals beats in prayer for your peace & reconciliation.
http://www.mylifeastheglue.com/?p=1325